you would think this is self-evident

I finally went to the dentist for my broken front tooth. Even my vanity, of which I have much, was not proof against my instinctive hatred of visiting the dentist. It's hard to explain--wait, no, it's not, it's easy. It goes like this.

Dental Guilt.

You know what I'm talking about. You go in still carrying the memories of all the flossing you didn't do, the fact you skipped your six month cleaning, and all the coffee and soda you drank. You sit down and brace yourself when the dentist comes in. Because sure, he may not say it (but he does, every time), he looks it.

Well, mine always said it.



The thing he does not get--though he's seen my entire family now--is that I am engaged in a dental war for my teeth. I come from a long, endless line of people who have none once they hit their forty-fifth year and my youngest sister lost all of hers before her twenty-fifth birthday due to malformed enamel (there is a medical term for this; I don't remember it). There are pitched battles, crushing defeats, truces, and vicodin. My dental work all on its own raised my tolerance for vicodin from "whee colors" to "I could get a better high from aspirin", okay? I could have put a kid of his through like, first year Princeton on the strength of my dental bills.

But every time, every time he looks in my mouth with this pained expression, like he can't believe his beautiful, flawless work is stuck in my mouth, where I obviously don't appreciate it.

Which makes me skip going to the dentist and double up on my dental coping mechanisms at home and blah blah blah, the cycle continues.

However, today is Saturday and I needed my front tooth that seriously broke fixed. There's a nearby clinic (like, one mile away) that specializes in Medicaid and CHIP clients. I work in social services; any dental clinic that can keep up a steady stream of repeat Medicaid customers for several years in general is a good bet. My clients were always my best source of customer service information; in general, and possibly in specific, any place where undocumented workers were comfortable going regularly with their kids is basically the gold standard of customer service. We don't lack dental clinics that will take Medicaid, including several frighteningly nice ones with LCD TVs and equipment I'm pretty sure is in the direct ancestry of Skynet, so the fact most of them still chose to go to this much smaller and less sophisticated one was a pretty good indicator it was a good place. Also, they were open on Saturday regular hours.

My impressions:

A.) The tech guy was hot as hell. I tried to admire his tattoos subtly.
B.) Everyone else was a woman. (There was one other male dentist somewhere? In theory? Never saw him.)
C.) I'm pretty sure they did a good job on my teeth; I'm not in pain and they look normal.

I just can't get over the fact I didn't have to wait and wait and wait and wait forever, the dentist showed up fairly fast and smiled in a non-patronizing way, she and my hygienist cracked jokes and weirdly, apologized if I showed discomfort. That was weird. My other dentist wouldn't notice anything less than me grabbing his wrist. I barely twitched (it wasn't even like, hurt, just the vibrations made me jump at first) and they both paused to check on me. I love this place.

(Two thirds of the way through, she stops abruptly and looks into my face; "Are you okay?" I didn't realize I'd relaxed that much; I usually have to seriously fight to keep still and my gag reflex like, triples in intensity. Apparently, I was approaching some kind of dental coma of relaxation or something. This is the first time my jaw wasn't killing me from clenching down on the rubber thing to hold my mouth open, and she did this genius thing with tissues so I didn't have to check in every few seconds to make sure my lips weren't trying to close.)

I can't quite put my finger on what was different. I mean, it was definitely the professional but genuinely warm attitude (as opposed to professional and genuinely patronizing) and the friendly way the staff all talked to each other in the halls as they passed, and the way she actually like, listened to me and gave me options on what to do (at this point, I need to pony up and start the long and expensive process of capping and be done with it with my family and personal history, especially with my sister as an example. Short term expensive; long term a bargain, considering).

Also? No dental guilt. I like her. I seriously have to find out if they are taking new patients anytime soon. That was the single most pleasant dental experience I have ever had.

Personal bias: all three of the front desk clerks were bilingual and from what I could overhear, the tech and at least two or three hygienists were too. That probably made my first really positive impression of the kind of clinic this is; if you are going to build a practice in Texas, especially in Austin, if you don't have bilingual staff, I think less of you. I'm not fluent by any means (at all; I am not good with languages spoken; reading I'm a little better) but I still try to read and practice it enough to understand and communicate on a basic level, and I don't get any business here that won't at minimum get at least one or two full time staff who are bilingual.

Must check for new patient openings. I really don't feel that a lack of LCD tvs on the ceiling is like, a problem.

Also, my gums don't hurt. Okay, this is freaking magic now. *awed*

Comments

[concinnity]

Please message me the name of this place. I, uh, really need to go to the dentist, but still have flashbacks to my wisdom teeth removal, which made my dentist say, "this is the worst set I've seen in 20 years." *shudder*

[seperis]

Are you north or south? There's a branch central/south if your'e closer there.

[concinnity]

I'm north/central. :)

[katekat]

if they don't have openings and you want another dentist in austin who will not guilt you and will actually make the experience pleasant enough that i was willing to do two root canals back to back with him, i'd suggest Dr. Garza in S. Austin. Dr. Garza was willing to leave a party on a weekend to help my dad with an abscessed tooth even though my father wasn't a patient and was visiting from california -- and every time I went in thereafter he still remembered and asked about him.

http://www.simongarzadds.com/

because no one should be made to feel guilty whey you're taking care of yourself. yes, you're doing it on your own timeline, but still, if you're in the dentist's office for care, that's a good thing, not a guilt situation, you know?

[seperis]

Oooh. Thank you!

[applekid]

Half the reason I don't go often enough (read: unless I HAVE to) is because of the dental guilt-tripping. The other half is the money. I just can't fathom paying someone tons of money to be patronizing while torturing me! If it was just one or the other, I probably wouldn't have such a problem with it.

[seperis]

Yes, this, this, this. The only thing that made it worth it was a.) if I was in pain and b.) they gave me drugs after. And I had to be in serious pain to get to that.

[cesare]

I don't understand why so many dentists are like the guilt-trip guy you mentioned. I have a fantastic dentist now, but the two before him were... yeah.

One thing I'm learning through my doctor odyssey of the past few years is that there's no reason to stick with someone who makes me uncomfortable in any way. At this point, I don't care how highly rated they are, or who recommended them to me... if I'm not comfortable, I'm seeing someone else. I wasted too much time letting a crappy doctor screw up my health because he never listened to me.

I really dislike the way we're socialized to treat medical professionals as if they're authority figures over us and we're stuck with them, when we pay them to work for us and can find someone else any time. I stayed with that crappy doctor because after all, he was the doctor, I was just the patient, what could I do? He literally did nothing for me, gave me no treatment. As soon as I switched to a better doctor, she treated all my health problems.

Shorter: I hope this dentist can see you again, or if not, can recommend another great dentist for you instead of that guilt-tripper.

[synecdochic]

oh, One thing I'm learning through my doctor odyssey of the past few years is that there's no reason to stick with someone who makes me uncomfortable in any way. At this point, I don't care how highly rated they are, or who recommended them to me... if I'm not comfortable, I'm seeing someone else. I wasted too much time letting a crappy doctor screw up my health because he never listened to me.

THIS. A world of this. One of the things I've learned in my journey to start accepting my disability and what it means for me is how to walk out on doctors who are condescending assholes. I've done it four times in the past year, and at first I was guilty over it, but now I'm at the point where -- fuck guilt! I left because you were a condescending asshole! I'm not going to feel guilty about that!

[cesare]

*\o/*

[cj_andre]

I'm sooooo jealous.

I am avoiding the dentist like the proverbial plague - and I need to take Rei as well.

Sigh

I just live in fear of the bill and the dental guilt. Even with insurance, the cost of anything beyond a cleaning is just frightening.

:-(

But I'm happy that you found someplace so cool!

[shopfront]

I go to a clinic that specialises in patients who have phobias or other health problems that make your average dentist visit difficult, and they're super awesome and I haven't looked back. It was actually just chance because a friend recommended a particular dentist to me who just happened to have started working there, but I do have a needle phobia, and ohgosh, the joys of a dentist visit not being a Massive Trauma! They even bring in pretty girls to stroke my arms soothingly whenever I need needles.

[winter_elf]

Yea, I followed a dentist around because they sold one office and consolidated (20 years ago) and I didn't like the new guy AT ALL. So yea, gotta find one you like.

Since then, I've had several - I had an old dentist, he retired. But he got a new guy I almost like even better. Very gentle, and OMG, the last time I went in (found out I had a cracked tooth and needed a crown.... like NOW), and they have a 'new' way of giving shots - IT DIDN'T HURT!!!!! I was amazed! I'm like needle phobic! And I can't watch this huge needle so I always close my eyes. It ALWAYS hurts going in!! This new stuff is like a tube with a super tiny needle, and it's like controlled by a computer?!? I don't know - but IT DIDN'T HURT - which is really all I need to know :)

Also, how you talk about this place - considerate, always checking on you, friendly, chatty to each other... this is what my place has always been like!! My dentist always asks if I feel anything, and even if I give a small flinch, stops and makes sure what I flinched at. And I never have to wait long, at all. And I take a long time for the shots to work for me, and the dentist usually sits there and waits with me, or checks in every few minutes from doing paperwork - NOT working on someone else.

So yea, this place you found sounds like a keeper. And what you feared - sounds like the place I ran from 20 years ago with a cold, impersonal guy I didn't want to be around.

I do have to admit, I do get lectures on what will happen if I =don't= floss. I've got like really, really active germs/plaque that turned all the fillings in my mouth soft (I had to replace every single filling in my mouth with porcelin), and have a high chance of gum disease. So I HAVE to keep up with my dental cleanings. And you know - buying one of those fancy, expensive electric toothbrushes really helps! If you don't have one, consider getting one.

[jamjar]

Ten or fifteen years ago, my dad went to a dentist who basically told him he'd loose all his teeth within two years. You know the expression "long in the tooth"? Loss of bonemass in the jaw and receding gums meant his teeth, though strong, looked like crocodile teeth and would fall out because everything they were attached to was withering away.

The dental assistant (who was a dentist herself, but was assisting while her qualifications were validated) said that no, they could be saved! She had a plan! It would take diligence and work, blood, sweat and tears (and regular appointments), but she had a plan!

And he still has them. Every six weeks, he gets deep root planing, he carries those floss-on-a-handle with him always, has a space-age toothbrush, but he also has all his teeth, thanks to Awesome Polish Dentist.

[fyrdrakken]

Aargh, yeah -- my mother stopped bringing me to the dentist for cleanings when I was in high school, so I had three cavities my senior year, and one of those within a whisker of needing a root canal, according to her dentist. We weren't a good match -- he wanted to clown around and underestimated how freaked out I was, and when I actually shoved his hand with the drill out of my mouth on the final visit because he started in on me before the Novocaine had kicked in, he threw me out and told me not to come back. Went to another dentist to take care of that last cavity (who was very careful to be sure I was all the way numb, and stopping if I flinched) and then didn't go back for about ten years, until my wisdom teeth started bothering me.

And I wound up going in to see a bitch dentist who only saw me for two minutes and wanted to spend all her time in the exam room looking at my x-rays rather than at me -- and who insisted I needed two separate cleanings and a root canal, and paid attention to me only to lecture me on how she wouldn't give me such shoddy dental care when I said I'd rather have that tooth pulled than tolerate a root canal. So I got the referral to an oral surgeon for my wisdom teeth that I'd gone in there for (of course, the dentist wanted to take out three of them herself -- on two separate visits -- and leave me to go to an oral surgeon for the problem tooth, making three trips out of something I wanted done all at once), cancelled the cleaning appointments I'd been browbeaten into making (her office kept calling me back to "confirm my appointments" even after I'd cancelled them, and getting my name wrong despite me correcting them every time), and haven't set foot in a dentist's office since.

The excuse I generally give is that I got screwed by the health & dental insurance policy I had at the time (surprising me by only discounting my wisdom tooth extraction rather than covering it, which I didn't discover till I was standing there in the office being shaken down for $1000+ right then and there) and can only afford to maintain my eyes or my teeth, and I need my eyes full-time. But, yeah, I don't have any kind of health coverage now, let alone dental, and I'm not interested in paying through the nose to be traumatized twice a year.

[rissabby.livejournal.com]

It's very heartening for me to read a positive dental work story.

I'm at the age where my childhood fillings are falling out. I don't have dental insurance and I can't afford dental work without selling something important to me. I've been avoiding the problem for a long time. Your post doesn't suggest a solution (except for moving to Austin and trying to qualify for Medicaid) but it's inspiring to read about someone else's dental success.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

This might help?

Care Credit (http://www.carecredit.com/) - the third section is about dental credit? I was looking at it too because even with insurance this is going to cost me.

Forgive me if you've already looked into these options; these are the ones we explored for my sister when she was without insurance.

1.) local dental school is a good place. A lot of kids newly in the Foster Care system are sent to the one in--I think San Antonio?--to get dental work done and I've had coworkers go there too.

2.) free dental clinics - they're rare, so it's something you'd have to research, but there are some and some that work on a sliding scale/payments option.

3.) There are dental plans that are ridiculously cheap monthly and so the discount on dental work is pretty huge. Some credit unions have access to them as well. If you find that option would work for you, when you go in you can ask for an evaluation (those are usually free if you have dental insurance) and set a schedule by affordability. Basically, they'll give you a list of everything they want/need to do with the prices (and alternatives sometimes) and you can do it in increments.

I hope that helps. If I can think of any other options, I'll come back and add them.

[apetslife.livejournal.com]

Just chiming in on what Jenn said. We were a big family with a lot of bad teeth and no insurance at all, growing up. The dental clinic with the sliding scale (based on income) was truly amazing...the dentist I had there was so good I still use him, even after he moved to private practice!

And they were great about payment plans, and Care Credit saved my butt when I needed a root canal but made too much money to qualify for lower sliding scales.

There are a lot of options out there. I let my teeth go for ages and it was a fight to get them back into anything approaching decent shape...I wish I'd started earlier!

[lillian13.livejournal.com]

You see, there's a reason I will drive to Temple to my dentist-in-law. (Sister-in-law's brother.) He's funny, a frickin' magician with the novocain, and really knows his stuff.

Plus we get to share lots of family gossip.

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

Nice. I have had good luck with dentists. They've all been very careful with the Novocaine.

I think a LOT of dental issues are genetic, like your sisters. If your enamel just doesn't form right, you're screwed. If the wrong type of bacteria like to live in your mouth? You're screwed. That does not absolve anyone of brushing and flossing, but it does render dental guilt... annoying.

[risha]

I experience dental guilt when I hear tales of suffering like yours. They're a little crooked, and I have some very mild gingivitis that comes and goes, but otherwise I'm gifted with nearly unassailable teeth. I've never had a cavity. Heck, it took the orthodontist several go rounds to realize that the reason why my brace brackets kept falling off, was that the surfaces were too strong and needed to be etched extra long first. The guilt comes from that I've done absolutely nothing to deserve this - I've never done anything to them other than a desultory daily brushing.

[jamesinboots.livejournal.com]

Finding a dentist that treats you with care and respect is really awesome. I love my current dentist; her practice is all about providing a caring experience, and they really take the promise to do that seriously.

Dental guilt-tripping is so lame and will only make patients avoid dentists more. I had a mean dentist who used to do that to me as a kid (back when I drank soda too much), and he effectively scared me away from the dentist for YEARS. I'm glad I was able to get over that a few years ago, because again, my current dentist is AWESOME. I'll continue going to her even when I move out of the area. So worth the drive!!

[lazar-grrl.livejournal.com]

The dentist I went to for most of my childhood was also a professor at the state dental school; he made me feel happy and at ease even when removing teeth. When he retired (to run a free dental clinic in Haiti, for the love of all that is AWESOME), his former-students-now-partners really stepped up. No guilt-tripping, no two-minute rush exams, no PAIN. They need to move their offices, but I'll be happy to drive an extra fifteen minutes to keep getting that kind of care.

[naughtyoldlady.livejournal.com]

We used to have the world's best dentist. No kidding. When your young child has to have the first filling of his life, and then at dinner you ask him what was the best thing that happened to him that day and he says, "Getting a filling!" you know you have the World's Best Dentist.

Alas, he moved many states away and now we just have a very good dentist.

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, isn't it MAGIC when you find a NON-SHITTY medical professional? SERIOUSLY AWESOME. I am so glad for you!

Also, I really like your selection process.

[tavella.livejournal.com]

I'm very fond of my current dentist. Had a tooth crack, called the next morning, they fit me in at 11:30. *And*, when I said "I know this tooth really needs a crown (it's basically an eggshell around a bunch of filling), but I'm currently unemployed and so can you just fill it and we'll see how long it lasts", he not only filled it without arguing, he comped me!

[boggit.livejournal.com]

Yay! Happy outcome! Sounds like you deserved a good experienced just based on dental karma.

I love my current dental practice (even though the smoking hot dentist left). The hygenists are so gentle, and even though my teeth apparently expired last year (no cavities for 28 years, *11* in the last year), the dentists are really nice.

I FALL ASLEEP WHILE THEY'RE WORKING ON ME. They have to wake me up because my jaw goes slack and my mouth isn't open enough. And they check on me all the time and apologized profusely when the novocaine shot made me cry once.

*loves*

STAY WITH THESE PEOPLE. Good dentists are way too damn rare.

[seekergeek.livejournal.com]

We invited our dentist to our wedding that's how much we appreciate and love ours. I've got teeth that are like granite and so I'm pretty low maintenance but my traumatized dentist-phobic hubby appreciates all the care and gentleness and the dentist's tiny little hands!

[shrewreader.livejournal.com]

Good dentists are made of awesome. I need to remember to call and apologize to mine - I missed my last two appointments because I was sick and was, actually, so sick I couldn't call and say 'Sick, sorry, must CX.'

In re 'no dental insurance' - I'm in the same boat. I needed about $5k worth of dental work because, like our blog host, I've got serious dental guilt. 10 years' worth of it, actually, and thus serious issues.

Found a dentist I liked.

Found out the estimate.

Had a near heart attack.

Asked if they had a dental insurance recc: They did. It's run by Humana, runs about $300 a year here in GA, and has SPECTACULAR coverage.

URL - http://www.humanaonedental.com/ , click on 'need individual coverage?' It has -REALLY GOOD- information about what it covers (in GA, everything), and how much the customer's cost is going to be (awesome).