rabbit report, redux

Waiting for something to happen is boring. I blame it on my new cubicle, the fact I am forced to drink insane amounts of Dr. Pepper to survive, and the slowest fax and mail day in history.

I mean, in history.

During the well-fated vet exam, I was introduced to the notion that the cuteness of my rabbits somehow offsets their sociopathic personalities. However, another key piece of information came up that at the time, I ignored in favor of assuring the tiny masters of my life were in fact, healthy and parasite free. Wait, there’s more.

So this week, I noticed Reggie acting sullen and moody, laying around the pen with a petulant look, biting my toes or fingers or elbow when I was in his way, and generally behaving badly even by his standards. Comparatively speaking, Bryante and Sloppy started to appear loving, which was my first clue that maybe something is wrong in the Warren.

It dawned on me Friday, while trying to get Reggie to acknowledge I wasn’t just a large object that needed to be eaten through to get to his bowl. Whilst he occasioned unprovoked attacks followed by weirdly cuddly behavior on the other boys, burrowing at the edges of his pen and marking territory in unpleasant and highly messy ways everywhere he goes (and I do mean everywhere), snatching food from my hand to eat a few inches out of reach, looking at me with seething hate, I recognized that expression as one I am confident my son will display toward me in a few years.

Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie just entered puberty.

Rabbit puberty is a lot like human puberty, but cuter, since it involves fur. Extensive reading has prepared me for moodiness, sullenness, messiness, lack of attention to grooming, trying to nail anything in his immediate vicinity, and sudden signs of hostility combined with aggressive behavior. You know, like humans. Except with fur. So it is indeed, a lot cuter. It’s even more adorable if you have no openly bleeding wounds and your mother didn’t yell in shock when the small love of your life tried to slit her wrists with his exceedingly strong hindquarters. My middle sister has taken to avoiding the rabbit area of the house, I suppose for fear that Reggie will launch a pre-emptive attack on her.

Reggie’s already the most aggressive and athletic of the three. If I were taking bets, if he indeed does figure out how to jump out of his pen, I’m pretty sure we are all very screwed. I mean, we can run away? But his little teeth are right on the level with the tendons in our feet. And you would be immensely surprised to find out that rabbits teeth are remarkable instruments and can slice though skin just like they can a carrot.

On the other hand, my eternal search for entertainment can now be satisfied by the fact Reggie officially scares everyone and there is nothing funnier than watching adults hang warily away from an entire room because of one less-than-two pounds teenage rabbit.

Comments

[ratcreature]

Rabbit puberty sounds hilarious. Well, at least for people outside the range of their teeth and claws. And it should be over more quickly than for humans too, no? I mean you won't be stuck with a sullen rabbit teenager that long, and maybe they'll be nicer afterwards?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Sadly, not until after the fixing. I'm stuck with him in his testosterone enhanced glory until the great Snip Snip of 2006.

I should remind him of that, come to think.

[ratcreature]

So if you didn't have him fixed his temper would just stay stuck in puberty? Wow, that's unfortunate. Thankfully my male rats aren't that rowdy or bad tempered (fixing isn't recommended because rats are quite small, so it's only really done if they injure each other in fights and such and is worth the risk). And now that they're eight months they even calmed down their hyperactive tendencies enough that they sometimes stay put for me to really pet them, not just come up to me briefly to check whether I might have acquired more food for them, and one even snuggles in my lap to doze there (rarely, but still! He lets me snuggle him!).

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Apparently, unfixed rabbits are not happy balls of fur, but vicious creatures that kill lettuce just to watch it die.

I'm so not kidding. the things I have read--but yeah. It's generally agreed that litter training and attitude both adjust to the more happy stage when they have been deprived of their bits. It's--wierd.

Oh god, I envy you the snuggling *so much*.

[ratcreature]

I know what you mean with the snuggling envy. I'm being mocked and taunted by all the cat people in my family when I happily mention that my rats deigned to sit on my lap for a while... OTOH I still remember my dad's last cat, whom he insisted was snugly and nice, but he was a vicious monster towards people he didn't like (namely me, though it was worse for my brother), so I know that with my luck if I had gotten a cat instead of rats it probably wouldn't have been nice and cuddly towards me at all, and I would have been stuck with it for fifteen to twenty years.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*look of horror* that would probably happen to me, too. All I want is something to cuddle? And I'd get Cat Hate or something.

*breathes*

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

The important question is: do unfixed rabbits kill lettuce in Reno just to watch it die?

[fyrdrakken]

I would not be at all surprised that fixing is a major personality changer -- we've still got one unfixed tomcat (due to him missing one appointment and me cancelling his other one last week so I'd be able to throw the money at my car) and it's instructive to watch him interacting with his fixed litterbrothers. Dizzy is standing there licking his face and Chooch is twitching his tail and growling like he's expecting the next move to be an unprovoked assault.

[meret.livejournal.com]

Why don't you get him fixed?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I can't until he's four and a half or five months old. That's the youngest my vet will operate on a rabbi. Plus, provenly entered puberty, which he has, so I have another four-six weeks before he can do it. Probably early, early May. I like that month.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Also, make that a rabbit, not rabbi. *sighs*

[edana-ni-emer.livejournal.com]

Heehee... yeah, a rabbi would probably object to getting fixed. :-)

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

oh noes. Will it help to buy him black claw-polish and depeche mode CDs, or would that only encourage him?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

God, he's so the type. Probably dye his fur green or something. Possibly join a cult.

Would be interesting.

[researchgrrrl.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I so persistently toted my pet rabbit around that she eventually became quite the docile little bunny. I think I got her when I was about five. I'd bundle Peter (yes, as mentioned elsewhere, that was her name) in an old pillowcase I used for her baby blanket and I'd carry her cradled in my arms on her back while I fed her carrots like they were baby bottles. She'd let me dress her and would ride in pretty much anything I put her in.

Looking back, I have no idea whether that was due to the gentleness of her personality or the sheer thick-headed, mulishishness of my own. I hope eventually the Seperis Warren is at least marginally less life-threatening for you while being no less entertaining.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*narrowed yes*

Yes, taunt me with your flawless handling of the bunny of love, okay? TAUNT ME.

*bitter*

[lillian78.livejournal.com]

Eh, much like intact male cats (I bred, showed and raised Maine Coon Cats for ten years). Except the studcats urine stinks to high heaven once they've achieved puberty. Male cats want to jump anything that moves (preferably female but they'll take a neutered animal as well), can bite viciously and are hostile to other males. Mmmm...much like human males really.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Maine Coon? Huh. Those are absolutely gorgeous.

Yeah, the rabbits are like less sharp-toothed versions of that. Well, Reggie is, anyway. And he's definitely showing too much interest in marking territory everywhere. My God.

It's scary how much Reggie reminds me of human teenage boys. i wish I had one so I could show them *exactly* what they look like.

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

LOL! Well. You could pre-emptively show child, except that pre-teen boys find teenage boys aggressive and unpleasant until they become one.

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

I'm so amused by your bunny adventures. I never had any rabbits but I know well the frustration of having a pet that refuses even the slightest attempt of bonding.

For 15 years I had a budgie that to his dying day seemed unable to decide between fleeing from me in mad panic (including hiding in a 3.000 year old urn on one memorable occasion) or attacking me wildly, hacking his beak into my fingers and hanging on worse than any bulldog with a bone.

So yes, I am amused but also feeling your pain. *keeping my fingers crossed for timely arrival of the Day of the Great Snip*

[tamalinn.livejournal.com]

Rabbit puberty is a lot like human puberty, but cuter, since it involves fur.
human puberty involves fur too... but it also involves acne. and acne isn't cute.

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Rabbit puberty is a lot like human puberty, but cuter, since it involves fur.

at least reggie won't come home with questionable boy-/girlfriends who mess up your life by messing up your kid rabbit.

[theclexfactor.livejournal.com]

Is any puberty cute?? I guess the rabbit would be less angsty! BTW, I added you as a friend because I've read your Clexy fics and they are frickin awesome!! If you need incentive to add me just look here (http://pics.livejournal.com/theclexfactor/pic/00018psz/)

[fyrdrakken]

Are you at all familiar with Sluggy Freelance?

[droolfangrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh man, hahahahahha

And god save me I have a eleven year old son.

eeeeep!