seperis | state of the pets

So. Bought no mammals, birds, hideous reptiles, or otherwise assorted animals this weekend. This will be the first weekend in a month that this has happened. I would like everyone to think what that means for a bit. Then think, she is the crazy rabbit lady!

Yes. Yes I am.

Did however, get more evilwrongyetsomepeoplesaygoodandright rabbit pellets, which I angsted over for a while, a litter training set that comes with litter that I cant' actually use in the rabbit's box since it's kind of dangerous to eat and the rabbits are huge fans of eating while--businessing. Kind of like the mouth equivalent of reading the newspaper while--well, businessing. I also got a pet playpen, and okay, yeah, go ahead, you can make jokes about this one. Cause I totally did. But man, it's nice. It's huge, and I spread out a tarp in the den, toss their toys, hay, and dinner in there, and let them run and play. I'm thinking of leaving them there overnight, since I really hate they have to spend so much time in their cage. This leads to weight gain and lethargy and foot disease and terrible, terrible moods, and it's not like terrible trio are sunshine and light *now*.

Interesting point in that, actually.

One, the rabbits are still ignoring me. *HOWEVER*, in a great stride of Jenn-Acknowledgement, Reggie crawled on top of the purple plastic small mammal castle I got them (*sighs* yeah. A rabbit castle), beside the rabbit alphabet blocks (*helpless shrug*), near the plush rabbit triangle (*no comment)) and close to the four different food-shaped playtoys and leapt off. He doesn't look directly *at* me, but he darts his eyes in my general direction. Kind of like, if I actually acknowledged you existed and that you had worth, I'd be doing this jump for you. I am doing it for me, but if you existed? Would totally be for you.

That, my friends? Is progress. It's also nice to see that the open wounds on my chest, finger, and forearm are now showing vague signs of healing before someone takes me aside to ask if I need an intervention. You can see this happening, right? I can. I mean, I can actually see being called into a conference room where my coworkers will all gently tell me that they know, and seriously, saying rabbits won't get you anything but a pitying look and possibly a talk with a counselor. Of course it was far worse last week, when there were five diagonal scratches across the area well above the bra line and a bruised, glazed look in my eyes as I wandered around blindly wondering how in the name of God something so small could hurt so much.

You can see why I'm kind of wired these days, right?

So. State of the rabbits--about two cups of pellets and unlimited timothy hay and alfalfa, hay and alfalfa at rough 70/30 proportions, salad of romaine lettuce (one handful), parsley (one handful), a half a carrot in thirds (a third for each) or half a celery stick in thirds (ditto), one half banana split in thirds for a treat. The one time I can be guranteed bunnytime is when the Ultimate Weapon of Choice Banana comes out, and man, they *fight* over who gets to crawl in my lap and try to eat through my flesh to get to that banana in my fingers. This, people, is what we *really* call progress. In a week or two, cilantro will be added to the menu, and probably broccoli tops. Apparently, I need to keep up a variety for health purposes. We are at eighteen days until first vet visit, at which time surely he will tell me I am kiling my furry friends, rabbit-hating whore.

Yeah. I'm in that place right now. Basically, I think, if I haven't killed them yet from my willy-nilly feeding of random assorted vegetables, then honestly, they either have stomachs of steel or I am ungodly lucky, and hey, who says that luck will ever run out?

In other, pet related news, Child's Bearded Lizard is up to five live large crickets a day, and has grown accordingly, at what appears to be a quarter inch in the last week (yeah, we measure him. *sigh). I need to emphasize this--five. Large. Crickets. We started him off at small, which he ate, oh, all thirty in two days, and medium like, seven a day. While at PetSmart, where the crickets are nowhere near the reptiles and zen was achieved easily, I picked up large, thinking, what the hell.

What the hell indeed. I don't know how many of you have ever watched a reptile eat, but let me tell you, there is nothing inspiring about a Junior eating a cricket in *gulps*, with a leg and half a cricket head sticking out *wiggling* as he mashes them to death with his flapping mouth and nonexistent teeth. I have never been so close to veganism in my entire life. Well, that and the rabbit rescue websites, where I was reminded that I a.) have no space and b.) have no time to become a rabbit foster mother to traumatized, disabled rabbits and c.) oh my God, jenn, are you serious? Give me your credit card right now. Also mentioned was a silent d.) Jenn. Please go back to buying hardware and going on random trips. Please. We miss that. Didn't you want an ipod? Why don't you still want an ipod?

Other items of note-- priced wirecutters so I could turn their two cages into one giant two story rabbit mansion. I was distracted by being called over to look at vacuums, then led gently toward the front of the store and away from temptation. But seriously. Two story rabbit mansion. It would be omg so cool. I even have a plan! And it involves wirecutters. Other stuff will eventually occur to me, I'm sure. But I still need wirecutters to do it.

I was thinking I was going ot write about fannish somethings today. Apparently, that's not going to happen. However, I am staring blankly at Teacher's Pet and thinking, oh God. Why can't this just jump ahead straight to the sex? Because lets all face it, this is pretty much where we end up. And yes, it will be traumatizing and vaguely dirty and possibly require me to start myself on a valium drip just to get through the day. But you know?

God, John is pretty.

Oh, wow, lunch is over. Who knew?

And yes, it will be traumatizing and vaguely dirty and possibly require me to start myself on a valium drip just to get through the day.

Lol, I think its pretty inevitable too but I'm not feeling the trauma. Yeah, its messed up, but its not like these feelings weren't there when he was an adult. If John was never an adult, then it would be wierd.

Two story rabbit mansion. It would be omg so cool. I even have a plan! And it involves wirecutters. Other stuff will eventually occur to me, I'm sure. But I still need wirecutters to do it.

That would be very cool, i would love to see pictures of that:)

God, when my camera comes in from freaking *backorder*--oh yes. There will be pictures.

And heh. It's just--conceptualizing it now totally freaks me out. *g*

So it sounds like your buns are getting all kinds of good stuff. I read somewhere once that celery could be bad because it's so stringy, but I don't know that for sure. As for cages and playpens - yes, so much fun. This site - http://www.leithpetwerks.com/ - has the coolest cages. They're expensive but dude. Three story mansion. My two rabbits have the two story cage. It's really nice and they really like it and it doesn't leave me feeling guilty if I'm not home because they actually like their cage.

Ohh wow. That is a cool site. Thanks!

I'll find you the *good* stuff once you deliver the smut. I promise.

You'd *better*.

Randomly: we give our rat, Pan Dulce, lab blocks because they're supposedly the most nutrionally balanced thing he can have. I still feel sorry for him, because, uh, lab blocks. They look like they taste like wood. We do occasionally give him fruit, which he really likes. (And don't tell anyone, but sometimes we sneak him a piece of chocolate, which he LOVES.)

My rat used to love ice cream. That's actually how I trained him to sit quietly on my shoulder, lol. That and cheese and peanut butter. All the vets used to ask what I fed him becuase he was so big and healthy, and all I could do was shuffle my feet and mumble.

Hee! Lab blocks. Huh.

Oh yeah, chocolate. I am *so tempted*.

You know, I love fannish content on my f'list, but all these animal stories in your recent posts? Better than fandom!!

(ps, the icon is just being used to go along with the mention of your story. Sort of. *g*)

*long suffering sigh* I am glad my pain has entertainmnet value.

.....

Actually, I am, cause seriously, I looked really weird last week. And they keep crawling on me for food and dont' mind teh claws much. *grins*

What the hell indeed.

Don't you love animals that grow in proportion to the size of their food? Because, really, it's only the creepy ones that do that.

I had a three-story mansion for the ferrets, back in the day when I had copious amounts of weasels.

Dammit, clicked post too soon.

Multi-storied cages for the critters are so much fun, so let me strongly encourage you to lose the rest of your mind and give building the Monster Cage a whirl. And then definitely post pictures. We will crave them.

I really want to try. I have the extra cage, I just need some time, space, wirecutters, and something to floor it with. Honestly, I think they'd have a blast having the extra story to play in.

And you'll have an epic blast watching them play, I assure you.

Btw, I thought of you and your tales of Banana-Based Bunny Love this morning as I wrote my first entry of the day (http://researchgrrrl.livejournal.com/9291.html).

I'll be turning myself over to the SPCA later.

::pets you:: and sends sympathy and understanding... although I am relatively critter free these days now that my sons have flown from the nest... I am still reluctant to get rid of my cage making supplies.

I have this plier-like tool that crimps small metal bits around the edges of wire grids to create a custom cage... it was very nice to just buy the wire in bulk and build the cages to spec....

Ahhhh, the good old days...

you know, I may take that up as my summer project. That would be *really* intersting. Huh.

Just so you know, my family had rabbits growing up, and they ate everything from geckos in Hawaii to the clover in the back yard. We had a French Lop in Hawaii and a Flemish Giant here in WA.
Trust me on this: pellets aren't going to hurt your rabbits, and people who say that are probebly from the same camp that change their own eating habbits once a month. Our rabbits lived to ripe old age and lived mostly off pellets. Of course, they also ate the cables in the house, the carpet, the furniture...you get my meaning.
Can I just say how amazed, and full of respect for you, that you have THREE rabbits and haven't gone bonkers?
Plus, you might want to consider this: our Flemish Giant never took to my brother, except to chase him around the back yard to try and bite his bottom. He may be 23 now, but that's something you never quiet forget.
My hat is off to you!

Oh wow. They ate *gekkos*? *grins* How cool!

All three are fairly low maintenance. They want sustenance and sleep and me to bring them snacks. *grins* Very cool rabbits.

OHMYGOD...you must do a story where Rodney becomes "the rabbit guy" and John has to stage a bunny intervention, only then he too is assimilated by the cunning little bunnies...

Because Rodney, John, BUNNIES and building an elaborate Rabbit Mansion...only you could do that proper justice.

WHY DID YOU PUT THAT IN MY HEAD?

Cause Rodney could freaking *quote* the care books. You know this, right????? And john would be lying down a lot with an ice pack on his hhead and all scarred up from vengeful bunnies.

"John always thought he'd end up carrying a certain amount of scars, but he'd never expected to be mutilated for life by freaking attack rabbits. Those deceptively cute little bundles of fur that Rodney was so busy cooing over packed a hidden punch in the form of really sharp pointed teeth and ohmygod CLAWS."

And then Frederick, the bunny that John secretly likes the best, absolutely HATES him and Rodney is terribly smug about it, only it turns out that ...

Oh, yeh. You must write this **G**.

Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex oh yes I'm longing for a sixteen year old John to start stalking oblivious!Rodney. This is going to be soooo much fun. Ahem. Not that the whole thing hasn't been delicious but, let's face it, pretty John hot for Rodney? There's nothing better in the universe is there? :)

*dies* Yeah. Rodnney might have a heart attack.

Who am I to criticize? Smoochy has me trained to play Wand Weasel with her for a minimum of 15 minutes per night. I swear she can tell time.

Be careful with your wirecutters that you don't leave any sharp ends that could scratch an eye or a nose.

I used to have lizards (can't remember what kind) that were supposed to eat crickets. The problem was, they would only eat the drumsticks. This was hard on the crickets AND me, since it was my job to put the lame crickets out of their misery.

"I would like to have a rabbit," I said to my husband. "Wait a week until the new potatoes are in. I'll get some fresh peas, too," he replied. "No, I want one as a pet," I said. "No, you don't," he told me. "Rabbits are not smart. Rabbits only need to be smarter than lettuce. It will never recognize you, or play with you. You want a nice kitten. We'll get you one." And so there was Smoochy.

I've been skipping ahead to the sex in my head, and in my head it involved SuddenlyAdult!John waking up in Rodney's bed (Kid!John having crawled in in the middle of the night) and propositioning Rodney, and Rodney saying in shock, This is what the priestess meant by spiritual awakening?

I will enjoy the whole journey until/whether or not sex develops.

You know, your pet stories of aloof rabbits always make me feel better about my suspicion that my rats really don't care much for me either beyond the "hey it opens the rat food bags" aspects (and related things). I mean, they're tame and friendly and all, and don't object to being picked up or carried or anything, but it's not like they'd cuddle with me voluntarily or care much for (or just hold still for) being petted unless I bribe them. They do like to climb on me, but only about as much as they like to climb on the furniture. Actually they like their favorite furniture more, but well, they may like me less than their favorite spot near the heater, but at least not less than the book shelves...

Sometimes I can fool myself into thinking that there's some kind of bonding or relationship going on, since they acknowledge me at least so far that they adjust their sleeping and waking hours to mine, and sort of greet me when I come back, though I suspect that's not so much that they like to see me as that they know I'll let them out, and also they have a chance to beg for some food if they turn woeful black eyes on me (or tug on my clothes). But well, one has to take what they offer. On the plus side they don't hurt me, and they're undeniably soft, furry and look cute. :)

Why can't this just jump ahead straight to the sex?

You say that like it's a bad thing. I, for one, am secretly hoping that you jump to the sex and make me happy. (And I'm using this icon because I'm shameless.)

...the open wounds on my chest, finger, and forearm are now showing vague signs of healing before someone takes me aside to ask if I need an intervention.

Yes, back in the olden days my neighbors kept rabbits and I was drafted to watch them when they went on vacation. One would think I'd attempted suicide (somehow, simotaneously, on both arms) with one of those garden implements shaped like a big honking claw.

I'm thinking of leaving them there overnight, since I really hate they have to spend so much time in their cage.

The uni I went to had an agricultural unit, which kept two rabbits outdoors in a long cylinder of chicken wire. They got plenty of excercise, and the lawn was always nicely mown :)

I've never had rabbits, though I was once sexually molested by a cousin's bunny (more specifically, my elbow was sexually molested). That came in handy some years ago, when I took the Personal (Non-)Purity Test, where the idea was to get as high a score as possible, and the Thumper Humping was good for a few points. Otherwise, I admire *other peoples'* bunnies, and don't let them anywhere near my elbows. Or knees.

Your pet stories are wonderful. I'm having trouble reconciling the Woman Who is Putty in Her Bunnies' Paws with the one who wrote A Handful of Dust, though :)

*pets you consolingly* We should, at some point, swap pet stories. One of my cats keeps trying to make out with me. It's... I mean--how do you tell a cat that you don't like him, like that?

Your stories -- both of rabbits and of kidJohn are wonderful. However, I am wondering what kind of banana we can offer you to write the sex! bit. Not that I'm juvenile or anything.....

Here Jen Jen Jen -- see the pretty banana. What does that shape remind you of?

heheheheh....

Rabbits? Who knew?

Here Jen Jen Jen -- see the pretty banana. What does that shape remind you of?

*rofl* subtle.

You'll want to get gloves for using the wire cutters, unless you'd like more little scratches you can't explain all over your body. ;)

for the wire, not the cutters.

May I please, please, please friend you? If only for the bunnies.

oh god, i can't even begin to tell you how much i can relate to that. when i got my cat, i was all "omg, what if she isn't happy? what if she gets sick? or worse: what if she gets bored???"

so i went and bought her a scratching-tree, complete with one of those little fuzzy furry balls on a string so she could not only sharpen her claws (guess who she used them on) but also play. well. i came home, and he was so tangled up in the string she had tied herself to the frickin' tree. god, the guilt! *shudders* of course, after i got bitten for freeing her, she didn't have her beloved fuzzy furry bouncy thing anymore and pouted, so i went and bought (no joke) three bouncing balls, one of them with little bells inside (kept me awake the whole damn night), two fur-covered rubber mice (on a string, so she could decide if she wanted to chase the mouse or the hand that was making it move), one of those feather-thingies, and a catnip bag, both of which she completely ignored. she also gets every bit of litter that's safe to play with – i don't even know how many paper balls there are under my bed.

of course, all of that was before i read how incredibly neurotic cats could get if they weren't properly stimulated and had enough possibilities to jump, climb and hunt. of course, that sent me on a shopping spree buying even more toys. the highlight was a new improved scratching tree which is more carefully constructed than the damn house i live in, so now she's got two of them. well. she loves it. so i'm happy.

oh, and we've been living together for almost a year now, and she loves me. basically, that means waking me up in the middle of the night because she wants to be petted and huggled, but hey. so i guess all your rabbits need is a little more time to get used to you. :)

i didn't want to write this much. but, you know. pets.

To you ever get the stick from the cat toy dropped on to your head at 3 in the morning? My cat figured out that there's no better way to wake mama up to play with him than dropping a stick on mama's head.

nah, my cat's more a fan of the subtle approach. like jumping onto my belly.

or, well, take things apart under the blanket, but that doesn't happen too often. thank god. ;)

Hey, I was just wondering. Were you planning on posting Landscape again? Because you said a month ago that the next part would be out that weekend, and I"m afraid I've somehow missed it or that you've forgotten.

http://www.angryalien.com/

It's gotta bunny theme... and BBM too

love, v

A rabbit castle? Wow! I did not know that such things existed.
That's really quite cool. I think the mansion is totally do-able and would definately get you the "Rabbit Owner of the Month" award.

On an entirely unrelated note, will there be any more of that SGA AU fic from last October? The reason I ask is that I have bits of it printed and stuffed into my dance bag. Had some time to kill before class today (where kids half my age dance circles around me twice as well) and I pulled out Arizona and was reminded how much I loved that fic.
Not trying to be a pest, just wondering.

One of my cats is pulling something down the stairs now and it keeps going *clunk! clunk! CLUNK!* I suppose I better figure out what it is.

*reads description of Bearded Lizard's eating habits*

*lusts a little*

I love your crazy rabidt love. I really really do. And I love you more and more with every embarrasing post. *sigh*

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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
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BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
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I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
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