seperis | i really hate thinking of subject lines

I have found over time that my bullet-proof kinks can lead me to twitchy places of fandom more often than I want to, or ever will, admit.

You know what I mean. You're reading along, and okay, it's not the fandom's answer to Watership Down or anything, and sure, there's a tone to it that makes you kind of wonder, but then it *hits* you and you--twitch. The Twitch has many different manifestations--some people whimper and some people lunge for the spork and some people, say

svmadelyn, not that I'm naming names here, some people AIM other people and gleefully make them read it so they, too, will have that minute of cognitive dissonance where your Kink Meets Your Squick, and it's Deathmatch on the Net, and for a second, you have no idea which one is going to win.

But yeah. You give me John armed and killing things, unfortunately, it could be frottage with Dumbledore and a mysterious squid from the depths of Atlantis and I'm just--in the so wrong place, because I know it will haunt me later. I *know that*. But I. Can't. Stop.

The Bullet-Proof kink is a dangerous thing indeed. Which is why I'm currently having problems controlling motor function after--well. Never mind. Suffice to say, I am totally on wavelength with Rodney and disgust myself, but I saved it and I'll go back to it, and read it, and hate myself so much.

One day, I keep meaning to write down my bulletproof squicks--the squicks that can make me stop reading *anything*, and I mean, seriously, it *could* be fandom's answer to Watership Down and I'll *still* stop and spend quality time resenting the hell out of the author in a completely irrational, totally ridiculous, and utterly annoying way, for about seven minutes, which is as long as I can focus on anything outside my current hair color.

Speaking of that, blonde is still on the table. I--just--feel like this is one of those human experiences I should have, you know? Like paying taxes and recieving bad penis enlargement spam.

WIP amnesty. I just--can't quite make myself give up on anything yet, even the one that I have cut up so much it looks like a patchwork quilt.

*sighs*

*sends

amireal love, cause her week has been about as bad as mine*

Oh! OH.

Two new Sheppard icons! God, I added them and drooled over them and completely forgot.

saya415

mad_jaks

Seriously. I stare at these far, far too much.

*sends love back*

So now I am all curious. Because I'm sure we have the same moments of "ACK! WTF??" And ditto on the bullet proof kink will give me heretofor unknown ability to suffer through PAIN in the name of kink.

The stupid *kink*. Dammit.

Hmm. Why do I think I know the story you mean?

which I saved to my hard-drive

*hangs head*

Sometimes, I play with the idea of making a separate folder for them? To you know--but then I think, do I really want to be able to see *how many* I keep in the name of kink?

No, I do not.

I would like to see these. There are very few things that do not turn me on. Hell, I roam the even worse than normal parts of nifty.com.

What story in particular are you talking about? Or what kink and what squick?

In open LJ? Will never admit the kink as an acutal bulletproof kink. And it's a very SGA specific kink, too. It's just--there. *shakes head*

And wow. *Nifty*?

Aw. Would you tell me what story in private? I'd love to see. :D

Yeah, I'm bad. But when I really need porn and I can't find any, I do sometimes venture there. :)

oh, now i'm *really* getting curious :-)

i have the same thing where i read stories, mayeven rec them on email but would rarely admit to them in public, b/c they just hit all the weird BPK moments. And I don't have a separate folder but I mark them otherwise...like in my TS folder there's a bunch of rentboy stories just named rentboy 1-xx :D (and no, First of the Month is *not* in there...while that hits all my meta kinks, it would never live in proximity to these others :-)

as for squick..i really don't know if i have a BPS...gotta think about that.

and this rambling comment about things i'm sure you were just dying to know about me is brought to you by the stack of exams on romanticism that are looking at me reproachfully...

*grins hugely* I like rambling comments! I can use them against you later! *nods earnestly*

It's just--especially in SGA? I picked up a few extreme fandom specific kinks--and not many people cater to them? So when they do, it's--well. Irresistible. And I *hate myself* so much when I realize what I'm reading. So. Much.

LOL...use away...

I think my worst fandom for reading bad kink fic has always been SV...I could probably cringe in embarrassment at the stories I've read, saved, and reread there :D

It's just comforting to know that between all the good and great stories, most of us do like some fanfic for that extra something it gives us which is completely independent of quality.

[I actually had a post a while back on the worst story you keep on reading (and rereading :)...but I won't admit to mine in a public post! *bg*]

*hangs head in deeper shame*

SV--screwed me up for *life*. I'd read things that would take years off my life, just for that--yes. Dammit.

It's like--levels. There's the good and great fic, and hte kink fic, and then there's the level that none of us can really admit to outside of our most private chats--the horrible badfic addiction, where you go find it, read it,save it, read it *again*, and keep twitching, utterly fascinated, *rivated* by it. I just--*twitches hard*. yeah. I need to stop with that or I'm going to develop a permanent tick.

And the funny thing is that for me it tends to be plot kinks. Like I'll happily admit to and link to the stories I find hottest, b/c they tend to be good and well written...it's the really bad rentboy fic or the crossover from hell or the cliched beyond belief AU that I won't share...

[oddly, I'll always claim that domesticity is my one and only squick, but a surprising amount of my guilt fic has weird amounts of domesticity...and it's not even necessarily horrid; just not the stuff I'd put on a rec page yet that I'll reread when I'm down...]

And--yeah. Guilty. I have--four QaF SuperDomestics that I cannot--get away from? I have parts *memorized*. And I am so--*twitches*. See? It's becoming permanent!

One day, should you ever stumble onto AIm when I'm on, I'll admit to the One True Oh My God It's So Bad But I Read All of It That Was Posted At the Time. But only then.

Cause--just. Can't face it.

oh...i don't do AIM...i guess it'll forever remain a secret to me then... *pouts* :D

i pretty much never veeered from your rec page much in QaF, stayed with a handful of writers and never made it into the pits of hell...now TS and DS and TPM and SV on the other hand...I read through the archive A through Z...anything that was larger than 10K (and my proclivity for LONG fic always catches the real train wrecks!!!)

and though noone took me up, i thought i'd share the post with you anyway here (http://cathexys.livejournal.com/103281.html)

I know the feeling, though I really don't have too many squicks but the ones I have are rather bulletproof where my kinks are kind of all over the place and completely dependent on the ability of the writer to make me suspend disbelief.

*grins* I have like, very few bulletproof squicks. Maybe two? That I cannot read beyond, like, ever. *g* And when my kinks meet those, it is always a freaking throwdown. Dammit.

There are very very few stories that can make me hit the back button once I'm into the story. The first page or two I'm always more than willing to skip and move on...

And then at two am you realize your reading a fic where Draco is a catboi and you have to go get shitfaced to cope with the horrible, crushing shame. We've all been there.

*curls up with you*

Yeah. *Just* like that.

And not even a sexy catboi, like you thought it was going to be one of those awful cliched AUs, but it turns out to actually have sidestepped the standard cliche and thus also even the small amount of sexiness the universe might have granted such an absurd piece of stupidity, but it took you 32 chapters to realize there really wasn't going to be ANY GOOD AT ALL and you sacrificed sleep for it?

Not that I've done that.

And they keep teasing you with smut and there's none… have we read the same fic?

I am exceptionally curious about:

a) your kink

b) exactly which story you are referring to.

Also, have you received mail from me?

yes! Yes yes yes, I got it Thursday adn I forgot to email you adn squee. It's waiting for tomorrow afternoon, when Child won't be siting beside me and asking earnestly why I'm drooling. it's just undignified.

*hugshugshugs* Sorry sorry I meant to email you and then completely didn't. THANK YOU. My week sucked a lot and now? It kind of looks like a *nice* week, what with ending with oh dear God pretty.

And--okay, in open lj I so cannot--it's so *stupid*. I mean, and it's sad, I'll admit a semiproof for bloodplay and guns and some others, but--it's just. So. *Stupid*. But it gets me in every time.

I am glad to know the US Postal Service has come through! I hope you enjoy, and I recommend a towel be on hand to contain the drool, because OMG, hot.

I admit to reading a story once where Methos joined SG-1 and there was some sort of cliffhanger involving robots that I'd swear were lifted from Transformers. We are all slaves to our whims.

I READ PART OF THAT. But then I realised the appalling writing was making baby Jesus cry, so I stopped. But I was VERY TEMPTED to continue.

It was LATE AT NIGHT! I was HOME ALONE! Weakness is mine, sayeth the Pouncer.

Ah, but I read it before it was finished, in as much as it is finished, so I just didn't go back for the next parts. :D

I was just scrolling back through my sga+misc tag posts and saw a reference I made to my fantasies of Rodney/Johnny Messner (an actor I discovered in Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid which makes it *that* *much* *better*, i.e., more absurd), though when I say Messner, I just mean some OMC played by him. And...I've had other fantasies. There was the one with Rodney/OMC as played by Ron Perlman (http://pics.livejournal.com/eliade/pic/0002q83s) (Beauty & The Beast, Hellboy, etc). Man, fandom really attracts some weirdos. *stares fascinated into the mirror*

We will do *anything* in search of the potentially hot pairing.

*mourns*

Fandom has recently dealt me a crushing blow, it has taught me that I have no bulletproof kinks.

I... this is so WRONG, I feel all bereft but seriously, one of the few things I thought could always comfort me deep in my soul (oh, you know where I mean) has FAILED ME.

Seriously, who the fuck knew it was possible to OVER-NEGOTIATE the hotness out of a threesome? NON-HOT THREESOMES?? Jesus wept.

*blinks*

*hugs hard* I am so, so, so sorry. I mean--wow. That's--*hugs*.

*sends cookies and porn*

The llamallama icon is hilarious! :D

i have so so much love for the "here's a sheppard" icon.

Second icon: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

With apologies to Jenn for butting in.

I was laughing fit to burst while making it.
*runs and hides*

That sounds like the start of a horrific fanfic challenge: Making the bulletproof kinks and bulletproof squicks lists and then people wind up picking at least one from each column and combining them into fic...

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seperis

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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
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-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
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Base style: Open Spaces by seperis
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