you know, even crack doesn't excuse this one

Two conversations, late night, three fangirls.

It's kind of my fault. I mean, mostly.

It started with this pic.

svmadelyn and lierdumoa were worse, though.

seperis: OH MY GOD
seperis: THAT IS ZELENKA?
lierdumoa: you haven't seen that pic?
lierdumoa: yes, do not trust the way the scientists look on the show
lierdumoa: because they try to make them all look less attractive than they are
seperis: My God
seperis: My dear God
seperis: I can totally slash Sheppard and Zelenka
seperis: I can not just slash them.
seperis: I can make them OTP.
lierdumoa: heeeee
seperis: Oh my GOD
lierdumoa: dude, that's like how I felt when I found young DH
lierdumoa: I was like
lierdumoa: ...OH
seperis: I need to write Sheppard/Zelenka right now
seperis: Right now right now right now.
seperis: Something porny.
lierdumoa: heeeee
lierdumoa: any ideas?
seperis: Unfortunately, all of them end up with Rodney blowing up Zelenka's quarters by *accident*.
lierdumoa: ROFL
lierdumoa: I love you
seperis: You know it would.
seperis: Rodney wouldn't even know who to be pissed at first.
seperis: he'd wire both their quarters.
seperis: Sit there with two remotes thinking about it.



seperis: Zelenka: *comes into lab warily* Something odd happened in my quarters.
Rodney: *staring balefully at Ancient device* Oh?
Zelenka: No longer there. Very strange.
Rodney: *screws something hard enough to crack Ancient plastic* Imagine that.
Zelenka: Something perhaps, I should know?
Rodney: I'd be really careful with your laptop.
Zelenka: *eases toward door*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: Would offerings of coffee stashes help this situation.
Rodney: No, because I've already confiscated them for pain and suffering
Zelenka: You were not even dating him!
Rodney: That is soooo beside the point.
seperis: *grins*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: How is it beside the point?
Rodney: Hey, shut up!
seperisSheppard: *wanders in*
Zelenka: Perhaps you should....
seperis: Rodney: *shines penlight at Radek's eyes* Shut up.
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *suddenly shaking*
Sheppard: You okay?
Zelenka: *looks around wildly*
Rodney: *hisses* I've rigged you with a mild electric shock, set to go off if you are in a certain proximity of a certain air force officer.
Zelenka: *eyes wide*
seperis: *cries laughing*
svmadelyn: Sheppard: Guys, really, everything okay?
Sheppard: *creeps closer*
Zelenka: *falls over chair in effort to back up*
Zelenka: Fine! Could not be finer!
Sheppard: *coming closer to help him up now*
seperis: Rodney: *to Sheppard* You.
svmadelyn: Zelenka: Dear God, get away!
Sheppard: *crestfallen*
seperis: Sheppard: You weren't saying that last night!
svmadelyn: Rodney: *to self* Score!
seperis: Rodney: *grinds teeth*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *shakes again*
Zelenka: He is not near me!
Rodney: Oh, I can do it manually too.
seperis: It would all go downhill form there.
seperis: That would so not be enough.
seperis: Rodney is a wronged princess.
svmadelyn: *sad* Rodney is the vengeful sort.
seperis: That's just how it *begins*.
seperis: Sheppard: You know, you seem upset about something.
Rodney: No, noting. Oh look, tragic.
Rodney: Your quarters are flooded.
Rodney: You'll have to move.
Rodney: How convenient. Right across the hall from me.
Rodney: Where I can *watch you*l
Sheppard: *suspicious*
Rodney: Flooding.
Sheppard: I noticed Zelenka has quarters inn the hydroponics bay?
Rodney: He needs more exercise.
svmadelyn: Sheppard: Um. My quarters are flooded. I'm soaking wet all the time.
Rodney: It's a fine look for you.
Sheppard: But--I think I'm catching a cold.
Rodney: I have vaporub! I will help.
Zelenka: Do not listen to him! It is a tra--
*ZAPPING NOISES*
Rodney: I'm getting thumb cramps.
Sheppard: *sneezes*
Rodney: *melty* Wow, that was the swee--I mean, let's get vaporub.
seperis: *dies and dies*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *twitching on the floor, kinda stunned*
Sheppard: Hey, we need to get him to the infirmary.
Rodney: No, we don't. He's just fine. You're just relaxing right?
Zelenka: *teeth chattering* Yes. Resting.
Rodney: See? Now let's get you all taken care of. *makes soothing motions against John's back*
seperis: Sheppard: You know, people have been acting weird around me all day.
Rodney: Really?
Sheppard: First Zelenka, then that hot nurse from the infirmary.
Rodney: *mumbles* touchy bitch *mumbles* Oh. That's terrible
Rodney: Maybe you smell funny?
lierdumoa: OMG I LOVE YOU BOTH
BOTH SO MUCH
seperis: Sheppard: *scrumptiously sniffing* I smell funny?
seperis: Rodney: You should shower. I'll help. I'm altruistic like that. Come along, Major.
Sheppard: Colonel.
Rodney: Anything you want. Chop chop. Let's get you naked--er. Clean.
svmadelyn: *Nurse, walking out dazed later*
Beckett: Oh my goodness, Suzanna, what happened?
Nurse: The--the turbolift kept going for *hours*!
Nurse: Up and down and I thought I was on the other side of Atlantis, and just when I thought I could get out, the doors slammed in my face
Nurse: And then Col. Sheppard's face kept blinking all inside the turbolift.
Beckett: Blinking?
Nurse: Like a hologram! Oh god, just thinking of his face makes me queasy!
Rodney: *watching behind curtains in infirmary* *makes a little strike-thru on Suzanna's name*
seperis: There will be a support group eventually
You see this coming, right?
Those whose lives Rodney has destroyed.
svmadelyn: *yes*
seperis: Ronon will show up one day.
svmadelyn: Kavanagh: I swear to god, I used to be smart.
svmadelyn: Simpson: *sympathetic* Oh, I believe you.
seperis: And they will be like, yeah. Electrical burns? Join the *club*, wuss.
Zelenka: *mournful* one night.
Zelenka: Handjobs!
Simpson: I just brought his laundry!
svmadelyn: Parrish: My clothes all turned pink in the washers.
Parrish: And then suddenly, I didn't have any at all.
svmadelyn: *sad*
seperis: Ronon: I touched his ass.
Everyone: *gasps*
Zelenka: And yet you live.
svmadelyn: Ronon: Let's just say, I have material that McKay doesn't want public knowledge of.
Everyone: *OFFERS THINGS WILDLY*
Ronon: Hmm. I'll take bids.
seperis: Ronon: *smirks*
Sheppard: *wanders in*
svmadelyn: Ronon: Well. I'm taking everything. And decide who made the best case. You'll get an email.
seperis: Everyone: *flees*
svmadelyn: Ronon: *skips to Sheppard's quarters*
Sheppard: Heya!
Ronon: I bring you offerings!
Ronon: I mean, presents.
seperis: OOH CLEVER!
svmadelyn: Sheppard: *WOW*.
seperis: Rodney: *watching on security*
Rodney: He's so dead.
svmadelyn: Ronon: *wakes up in the middle of the night to sprinkler system going off with black paint*
Ronon: *traipses through Atlantis*
Sprinklers: *follow him and bless along the way, but with increasingly more smelly things*
Ronon: *stops at McKay's quarters* Your point has been taken.
Rodney: Excellent. Just don't let it happen again, hmm?
Ronon: *sad* *leaves*
seperis: The support group would understand.
Zelenka; Did he fit you with electrocution device? Then no, you are wuss.
seperis: Rodney: *grinning maniacally*
*watching through security cameras*
svmadelyn: Zelenka: *keeps talking, hands working under the table*
Zelenka: Okay, everyone, we have two minutes without Rodney watching. Report!
seperis: *dies *
svmadelyn: Simpson: I managed to steal his underwear! Then I got scared and put them back.
Everyone: *claps*
Kavanagh: I took the picture of him and his cat.
Everyone: ARE YOU INSANE PUT IT BACK BEFORE HE NOTICES.
Zelenka: *SHOVES HIM OUT THE DOOR* GOOD GOD. GOOD GOD!
seperis: *dies*
seperis: Yes.
svmadelyn: Kavanagh: *sprints to Rodney's quarters*
seperis: Death and destruction
seperis: So very death.
seperis: Rodney: *suspicious*
svmadelyn: Simpson: *whispers* I told Cadman that Sheppard likes her.
seperis: Sheppard: *wanders in*
svmadelyn: Simpson: She's gonna make a play.
Zelenka: But we like Cadman.
seperis: Simpson: There is no hell that can express this adequately.
svmadelyn: Simpson: Sacrifices have to be made, sometimes.
seperis: Simpson: But the more of us there are? less attention he can give to us *each*.
Sheppard: *wanders in*
Everyone: *flees*
Sheppard: Okay, this is getting old fast.
svmadelyn: AWWW.
lierdumoa: YOU GUYS JUST MADE MY WHOLE NIGHT
svmadelyn: Sheppard: I'm feeling like a leper. *to Rodney, glumly*
Rodney: *ARMS WIDE OPEN*
seperis: Rodney: You need a massage. Lay down and take off your pants.
Sheppard: ...my pants?
svmadelyn: You make him so transparent!
svmadelyn: Sheppard: Will that make you like me?
seperis: He's not the king of subtlety here.
svmadelyn: I just want to be liked!
Rodney: Yes. Yes, it will.
Sheppard: I trust you!
seperis: Sheppard: *sighs and drops pants*
svmadelyn: Rodney: I just don't know why they all hate you so much.
Rodney: But know that I will never leave you.
Sheppard: *glows*
seperis: *ominous music plays*
seperis: *somewhere, a bunny realizes it may end up in a pot*
svmadelyn: *giggling*
svmadelyn: *dies*
seperis: *the next morning*
seperis: Rodney: *whistling*
Zelenka: *cringes when he comes into the lab*
Zelenka: *braces for morning electroshock*
electroshock: *never happens*
svmadelyn: *DIES*
svmadelyn: oh, the morning after
svmadelyn: helps EVERYONE.
seperis: *nods*
seperis: Oohh yeah.
svmadelyn: a triumphant, satiated Rodney, means minus electroshock, yay!
seperis: Zelenka: Does this mean you will take it out?
Rodney; It reprogrammed it.
svmadelyn: Rodney: After six months of good behavior
we'll talk.
seperis: Zelenka: *better than expected*
svmadelyn: and by 'good behavior' I mean, don't have sex with sheppard.
seperis: You know, this is almost as long as an actual, you know, ,story.
Sheppard; *glowing*
Everyone: *sighs* God he's pretty.
Rodney: *snaps up remote*
Everyone: NOT PRETTY OMG UGLY!
Everyone: *flees*
Sheppard: *confused*
seperis: It's really romantic.
seperis: In a very Rodney way.
seperis: Rodney: *pets him* I like you.
seperis: *ominous music*
seperis: Bunny: *dies*
seperis: Atlantis: *survives*
svmadelyn: *dying*
svmadelyn: Rodney is gorgeous
svmadelyn: when he will go to any lengths
svmadelyn: to secure the affections of the one he so desires.
seperis: Yep
seperis: Oh yep.
seperis: Lierdumoa loves us very much
svmadelyn: we are worthy of such love.
lierdumoa I don't know how many more ways I can say you guys rock
svmadelyn: love is expressed through chocolate.
svmadelyn: and fresh prince john sheppard vids.

Comments

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

svmadelyn: love is expressed through chocolate.
svmadelyn: and fresh prince john sheppard vids.


dude, I cannot second that vid idea more. honestly.

[svmadelyn.livejournal.com]

*grins* I think it was Pru's idea originally, and Lierdumoa was coerced into making it for us for our trip to Vancouver. It is not a simple pipe dream! *anticipatory*

svmadelyn: love is expressed through chocolate.
svmadelyn: and fresh prince john sheppard vids.
seperis: She says she'll start it tomorrow
svmadelyn: *rubs hands*
svmadelyn: she is a good human being.

[kickthebeat.livejournal.com]

I fully expect you to share with the group, young lady. you cannot keep such a gem to yourselves.

[amberlc.livejournal.com]

I want this! The support group - Hee! And I want to see that picture of Zelenka.

[turtlespeaks.livejournal.com]

I. . . I. . .

*cries with joy*

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS ME!! I cannot express the depth of how much you two rock!

*cannot stop laughing*flings candy and porn at you both*

Sheppard: *glowing*
Everyone: *sighs* God he's pretty.
Rodney: *snaps up remote*
Everyone: NOT PRETTY OMG UGLY!
Everyone: *flees*
Sheppard: *confused*

*flails with joy*

[turtlespeaks.livejournal.com]

Apparently, with all the amazing slash and fandomish things being posted tonight, within this very hour, I have been reduced to a constant state of "manical giggle" and am unable to express myself without the use of caps.

*hugs you both*is still laughing*

[out-there.livejournal.com]

Annie: *DIES*
*literally death from hysterical laughter*

[stillane.livejournal.com]

Okay. I swallowed my tongue somewhere around

Ronon: I touched his ass.
Everyone: *gasps*
Zelenka: And yet you live.

This did not improve the situation: *somewhere, a bunny realizes it may end up in a pot*

You all are evil geniuses.

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

I love that it's... "Somewhere, a bunny." Not, Cadman's bunny or Heightmeyer's bunny, just somewhere. There is a bunny. And it is doomed.

Muhahahahahahaha....

[justabi.livejournal.com]

ZELENKA! You two cannot be trusted! Give him back with no electrical burns, RIGHT NOW!

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

You rock! This was much fun, thank you! I love jealous Rodney and clueless John.

[aurora]

*cries laughing*

You guys rock.

[eliade.livejournal.com]

Rodney is a wronged princess.

Maybe I need to rename my LJ *that*.

Kavanagh: I took the picture of him and his cat.
Everyone: ARE YOU INSANE PUT IT BACK BEFORE HE NOTICES.
Zelenka: *SHOVES HIM OUT THE DOOR* GOOD GOD. GOOD GOD!
seperis: *dies*

*dies also*

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Zelenka: Do not listen to him! It is a tra--
*ZAPPING NOISES*
Rodney: I'm getting thumb cramps.

Alas, how much tragedy (and electroshock therapy) could have been avoided if only Radek would use contractions!

Also, shock therapy is love.

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

Is this picture work-safe?

Also, I read, um. Something Else? The story with John the Mexican Beach Bum and Rodney coming to visit. And I stayed up *way too late* to finish it. Much love from this quarter, especially for the emotional punch packed into the end. It made me very happy.

[jade-dragoness.livejournal.com]

*stares* I want to marry you both right now.....and that's not even legal in this country.

These are my favorite lines ever! OMG! YEAH! LOVE!:
Rodney: Maybe you smell funny? *wants as icon; wantswantswants*

Parrish: My clothes all turned pink in the washers.
Parrish: And then suddenly, I didn't have any at all. Lorne has got to be very very happy! *giggle fit*

Zelenka; Did he fit you with electrocution device? Then no, you are wuss. Him saying this to Ronon.....I would kill to hear this line on the show. Murder...bribe....I would have no compunction at all at stooping so low. *plots*

Simpson: But the more of us there are? less attention he can give to us *each*. *giggles* Rodney's reign of Evil must never end. Extended...Oh, yes....*evil smirk*

Rodney: You need a massage. Lay down and take off your pants. Want as icon! Want as icon! Want!Want!Want!

*dies so happy*

OH MY HOLY GOD!!

[maiyav.livejournal.com]

My sister thinks I've finally completely lost it ALL and she's leaving me to my delusions because of you! How dare you make me crack up on the couch in the LIVING ROOM in FULL PUBLIC VIEW of anyone who just doesn't understand how seriously WHACKED you are!

GAH!! Dying here! D-Y-I-N-G!!!

Oh, it hurts. *Hysterical laughter closely followed by hyperventilating*

[marici.livejournal.com]

This is all darling and amusing, but... *speaks quietly, fearing Rodney* that Zelenka/Sheppard thought sounds really, really hot. I'm not saying convert, or anything, but just a little to add spice?

[jarrn.livejournal.com]

I think my heart stopped.

THAT WAS SO FUNNY!! BRILLIANT!!!

*hugs* THANKS FOR SHARING!!!