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Sunday, June 13th, 2010 03:57 pm
this can't be happening
I have had a bad moonpie.
I don't know what to do with this.
I got it for Child, because hey, moonpie. Opened it up, and okay, a three decker moonpie was weird (I'm a purist, okay?) but that's also more moonpie so I dealt with it, and then Child looked horrified after a bite. I assumed he was evil (as one does; who looks like that after a moonpie?) then took a bite myself.
For a moment, I suspected I was evil too, but seriously, what the fuck was that? It's a moonpie, not baked Alaska; we are not talking about a complex dish. It is marshmellow stuck between graham crackers and covered in chocolate or other layer of artificial and delicious flavoring. It is like a smore gone corporate. And it tasted like feet had been involved.
FEET.
The sun has just stopped shining, cats and dogs are lying down together, and my childhood called and disowned me.
I don't know what to do with this.
I got it for Child, because hey, moonpie. Opened it up, and okay, a three decker moonpie was weird (I'm a purist, okay?) but that's also more moonpie so I dealt with it, and then Child looked horrified after a bite. I assumed he was evil (as one does; who looks like that after a moonpie?) then took a bite myself.
For a moment, I suspected I was evil too, but seriously, what the fuck was that? It's a moonpie, not baked Alaska; we are not talking about a complex dish. It is marshmellow stuck between graham crackers and covered in chocolate or other layer of artificial and delicious flavoring. It is like a smore gone corporate. And it tasted like feet had been involved.
FEET.
The sun has just stopped shining, cats and dogs are lying down together, and my childhood called and disowned me.
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From:I had a piece of pie that was evil a couple weeks ago. I imagine my expression was much like yours.
We should never be betrayed by sugary desserts.
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From:...also please pardon me for cracking up like a lunatic.
I'd offer you green tea mochi cupcakes (imagine mochi. Now toast the outside so it's nice and crisp and browned. Imagine biting into this crisp exterior and getting a mouthful of chewy, warm gooey innards. Imaging green tea custard sort-of burning your tongue, but it's pain you can live with. Yeah, I made that today and it's awesome and I will gain 50 pounds from eating an entire tray in one sitting.) except they do not travel well. Also, I'm betting this will be horrible when it cools down :-(
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From:So sorry this happened to you and the child. :(
*hugs*
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From:It - changes a person, you know?
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From:*shudder* There was nothing about it that wasn't wrong.
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From:It is delicious.
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From:...and came to the conclusion that they put crack in most US water supplies.
Just...UGH WHAT THE FUCK EWWWWW GROSS! I was expecting real awesomeness after all that talking up of them I'd heard. It was just...disgusting. Gut-churningly disgusting. I wouldn't be surprised if they were nice, maybe those 25 years ago when I first heard about them. But in NYC in 2008... *pulls face and longs for TimTams*
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From:*shudders* There was nothing about it that wasn't utterly wrong.
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From:A similar thing happened to my aunt when she bought pure Marzipan (really finely ground suger-almond-mix) for baking. She was happy, because she hadn't managed to find any in the USA before that. Only it turned out that it had been sitting there for so long that it had totally dired out and become almost rock like...
And to really go for tl;dr:
When I first read moonpie I had no idea what it was and I googled, but before that i thoght of mooncake. My friend brought some (industrial, packed one) from her trip to Vietnam (she has family there) and told us that it's a holiday delicacy, only none of the German people who tried it liked it at all. For me it tasted REALLY weird. But then people all over the world have very different ideas of what tasted good (as desert). (We do usually love her cooking.)
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From:I wish you a good moonpie soon.
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From:::SO SAD::
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From:yes, the bitterness and pain does linger. No more Mars Bars...screw you Almond Snickers you are Not a Mars Bar.
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From:That's like messing up a PB&J sandwich.
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