I have learned to find comfort in the mini-zen garden [livejournal.com profile] svmadelyn sent me, and in amusing myself with the fact that, if Lex had had *any idea* how much things would go downhill after he left Belle Reve, he would have superglued his ass to the electroshock machine. Seriously. Probably hooked it up himself, even, dragged out an attendant, yelling, "Bring. It. *On*."



There are three things that (right now, that I can remember) make me wonder, why, God, why:

1.) Rosetta: Junkmail.

That one pretty much lives on for the ages. No fandom can compete. No, really. No other fandom has a hero this dumb. Wait. Go look. Look at your show. Look at your hero. Imagine your hero receiving *mail* at the *hospital* that's hand-delivered, and then telling someone that it's junkmail. Seriously. All of you in fandoms that aren't Smallville? You cannot possibly *hope* to get stuff like this. You just can't.

I have this fantasy.

Ten years from now, Clark will be doing something. I don't know. Saving cats from trees, writing a novel, getting laid. Something. And then it'll just hit him.

"Oh my *God*. I said *junkmail*?"

He's going to realize the epic nature of his undying dumbness at that second. Because honestly, I don't think it's possible he can get any dumber and still function as a sentient creature. Therefore, if we assume that comics canon indicates he will, in fact, continue to live, he has to smarten up.

2.) Bound: Clark Kent Lectures Lex on the Importance of Virtue

Does anyone need me to actually cough while saying Post Season Two Metropolis Hijinks? I admit, AlMiles plays fast and loose with the virginity, utilizing the terminology of teenage girls everywhere to make the point that Clark Is a Virgin, Dammit. As he spent his time in Metropolis merely commiting grand theft, burglary, thievery, slutty attire, and assault, not to mention attempted patricide. You know, virtuous things.

Though I suppose that if Clark was giving blowjobs, not receiving them, they're still safe on the virginity thing, I just don't see Kal being that-reciprocal.

3.) Transference: Who is Lucas?

Do I even need to rant about this one? This ep rocked, and I'll forgive a lot for the fact that Clark once again got to go bad. But they Forgot Lucas. That stayed with me for *days*.

I have others, but these are the ones that are most recent and chewed on. I mean, above and beyond the frightening level of what the hell are they *on* reaction. Bound still sends me into short bursts of Oh my God I Did Not See That It Must Be a Dream Sequence A La Dallas.

Clark is amusing me, though, esp in this ep.

He does a bad guy far better and more interestingly than he ever did a good one, which actually might be some kind of weird subtextual metaphor--being good is boring, being bad is interesting. Being good requires a stick surgically lodged in your ass; being bad means you get really great cars, hot girls, and some mighty fine digs. Being good leads to betrayal, pain, hurt, and endless angst. Being bad makes you happy. Well, it *does*. Lex tends to be at his happiest and most productive, not to mention *successful*, when he chucks all annoying moral issues and just goes for it. Hell, Clark could say the same thing. Sometimes, I honestly believe the overarcing message is Being Good is Hard and Not Worth It, But Do It Anyway Because It's the Right Thing.

*sighs*

I made cookies. With chocolate. I am going to eat them, rake my zen garden, and hopefully, write smut. Also, I need to get season one. I am officially sure that it cannot possibly be as good as I remember, because I used to rant about it sometimes, but God, right now--I mean, season two is my favorite ever ever ever, as it gave me Heat, Red, Prodigy, and Insurgence, but man.

Still, I love my show. *hugs Smallville* I mean, so far? No zombies.

Wait. *Have* there been zombies yet?

WiPs

I need to sort more often.

1.) Pretty When You're Mine - I can't belive I'm still writing this. Frankly, I cant' believe I even restarted it.

2.) My Usual Lie - the one with ice-skating. [livejournal.com profile] amandajane5 wanted, I'm trying to finish. But it does. Not. Move.

3.) Landscape - God, don't even ask. I'm stuck in The Happy. That's just wrong.

4.) The Yard - yeah. Like that one is moving at all.

5.) The Funny One, for [livejournal.com profile] nonchop I hate the world.

Those are the active ones. There are three QaF ones I flutter around, but they aren't going to do anything until season five starts, because they are annoying like that.

I have two more days off. At some point, I am going to use them productively. But it so isn't happening right now.
ext_1890: (Supes--goss)

From: [identity profile] svmadelyn.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 06:30 am (UTC)
JUNK MAIL. JUNK MAIL. JUNK. MAIL. IT IS NOT A SMALL TOWN. THE MESSENGER GOT PISSED OFF AT YOU WHEN YOU'RE ALL, NAH, SO NOT MINE.

LEX HATES YOU BECAUSE YOU LIE TO HIM LIKE HE IS A MORON.

*calms and kicks around stones in own zen garden*

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:12 am (UTC)
*grins at you*

From: [identity profile] stargirl220.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 08:24 am (UTC)
When I got the DVD with ROSETTA on I had to pause it for about 5 mins as I could'nt stop screaming at the T.V
"You Goddamned stupid fu**ing BDA OH my God your dumb you are so dumb oh my God you are so stupid" And you can tell by LEX's reaction to Clark that he was thinking along the same lines as that,he was just to poilite to say them out loud.If i was there I would have given Clark a verbal ASS WOOPING

I think in the future when Clark is Superman with that costume,I don't think the underpant's on the outside was completely on purpose,I just think he is so dumb that he forgot what order his clothes are ment to be put on.

From: [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 08:32 am (UTC)
Ow! Hurt myself laughing...underpants--*snerf*

From: [identity profile] anitac588.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 08:35 am (UTC)
LMAO!

From: [identity profile] jadedsilver.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 11:57 pm (UTC)
*sporfles*

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:14 am (UTC)
That is the most logical explanation I have ever heard.

From: [identity profile] nerodi.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 12:20 pm (UTC)
oh jenn, there are so so so many more!

anyway, glad to see you writing in/about sv again!

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:15 am (UTC)
I try to limit myself or my meter goes off the scale.

I still sit around thinking about Clark using "adrenaline" from Jitters as an excuse. With a straight face, even!

From: [identity profile] baked-ziti.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 04:52 pm (UTC)
Actually I've always tended to be a little more forgiving of that excuse -- it did have to be adrenaline, didn't it? Even if it was alien-strength adrenaline? Clark was definitely not up to his usual in that scene, seeing as they were in Level Three and there was all that kryptonite whatnot going on.

So... I mean, by human standards, that was not adrenaline, that was kryponite mutation or strength from being an incognito alien, but by Clark-standards, which are admittedly different from everybody else's, being able to use his strength must have been a surprise.

From: [identity profile] nebulist.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 12:53 pm (UTC)
"Oh my *God*. I said *junkmail*?"

Ahahahahaha! Seriously.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:18 am (UTC)
It's so goign to happen like that. One day, he's just going to realize it and bang himself unconscious against a wall for the sheer horror of it.

From: [identity profile] fox1013.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 01:56 pm (UTC)
I refuse to believe that anyone who's ever watched a single EPISODE of Roswell can criticize Smallville. Smallville may have characters do stupid things, but I honestly think the SV:Ros ratio of Stupid Things Per Episode is significantly in the Ville's favor.

Smallville is like an improved version of Roswell.

I didn't say improved a LOT, but they tried.
ext_1890: (Default)

From: [identity profile] svmadelyn.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 10:01 pm (UTC)
*eyes you* I'm not quite sure what to say to this, actually. You bring up a good point. A scary point, to be sure. But a solid one.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:18 am (UTC)
Max is very pretty, though. I mean, seriously, that makes up for huge amounts. Clark is pretty, but not quite as pretty as Max.

Max. *Pretty*.

From: [identity profile] krisdia.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 03:00 pm (UTC)
That one pretty much lives on for the ages. No fandom can compete. No, really. No other fandom has a hero this dumb. Wait. Go look. Look at your show. Look at your hero. Imagine your hero receiving *mail* at the *hospital* that's hand-delivered, and then telling someone that it's junkmail. Seriously. All of you in fandoms that aren't Smallville? You cannot possibly *hope* to get stuff like this. You just can't.

OMG, I almost snorted my *cereal* reading this! You just made my morning!

(And would the 'one with ice-skating' happen to be rps? *looks innocent*)

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:19 am (UTC)
*sighs* No, unfortunately, just Clex with skates. You'd think that woudl be simple enough, right? Just sitting around, writing abou tpretty boys ice skating.

Strangely, it is *not*.
fyrdrakken: (Cynical)

From: [personal profile] fyrdrakken Date: 2005-01-18 03:01 pm (UTC)
I don't think I ever saw "Rosetta" -- especially not if it was later than second season -- but somehow I thought of the way my grandmother calls me up on the phone to tell me whenever anything for me is delivered to her house so I can come get it -- and 9 times out of 10 it is indeed junk mail that I trash unopened. But yeah, I'm totally missing the context there.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:22 am (UTC)
Clrk and Lex are walking down teh hall. The postperson comes up to him, saying everyone had said he was here, to deliver him some mail. I cna't rmember if he had to sign for it or not. Then Lex asks what it is, and Clark is like, Junkmail.

*facepalms* So. Terrifying. For. Humanity.
fyrdrakken: (Dancing Hugh)

From: [personal profile] fyrdrakken Date: 2005-01-19 04:03 pm (UTC)
Basically, trying to come up with something more polite than, "None of your business," and not thinking fast on his feet? Actually, yeah, I can see me pulling that kind of thing -- though then again, I can also see me just coming right out and telling him whatever it was because I'm all over the oversharing thing. Really, it's a wonder I haven't said anything on my LJ about posing nude for a friend's artsy photos last weekend and providing a link to same. (Then again, the pics mostly reminded me I'd really like to lost 10-15 pounds, so there is that.)

From: [identity profile] baked-ziti.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 04:55 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness. Is your icon a clip of Hugh Jackman in Boy from Oz? (I, er, don't have my glasses on. But if it is, *squee*. And if it's not, it's still a really fun icon.)
fyrdrakken: (Chippendales)

From: [personal profile] fyrdrakken Date: 2005-01-19 05:06 pm (UTC)
Yep, it's Hugh in the gold lame from the Tony Awards, IIRC. It and this one were made by [livejournal.com profile] khakigrrl.

From: [identity profile] lastscorpion.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-18 10:46 pm (UTC)
LOL!

Sometimes, I honestly believe the overarcing message is Being Good is Hard and Not Worth It, But Do It Anyway Because It's the Right Thing.


That was the message of Buffy, too. (Well, that and Buy American.)

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:23 am (UTC)
*Snickers* Excellent point.

From: [identity profile] jadedsilver.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:02 am (UTC)
Points 1, 2, and 3: WORDDD.

Although, I think my Biggest BDA Peeve was the whole Going to Lionel For Help in Memoria.

I just -- Gah.

*headdesks repeatedly*

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 12:41 am (UTC)
Oh man. I can't even go there. I just have to believe all of teh end of season three was some kind of--time warp. Cause between *that* and Clark saying how much he trust Lionel....

Stupidest. Boy. Ever.

*headdesks with you*

From: [identity profile] giddyfangirl.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 03:34 am (UTC)
Ten years from now, Clark will be doing something. I don't know. Saving cats from trees, writing a novel, getting laid. Something. And then it'll just hit him.

"Oh my *God*. I said *junkmail*?"


Bwahahahaa! That will so happen.

I have to say though, I liked Clark's moronic morality speech in Bound; not because it made one iota of sense, but because it's proof that Clark has all these issues and hang-ups re: sex and Lex will have to bust out every last seduction technique in his very impressive arsenal to get into those pants/tights, and I find that hot. lalalaobjectifylalala.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-22 01:46 am (UTC)
Ooh yeah. Clark's sex issues are legion. And frankly, for a country boy, unnatural as hell.

I wonder if he associates random sex with Kal or something, or Kal's attitude toward it. Hmm.
ext_6825: (Default)

From: [identity profile] attolia.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-19 05:02 am (UTC)
SV is so messed up now. I used to dread Lex going bad, then I looked forward to it. Now I barely care, since I doubt they will do it in any way that makes sense.

I just finished reading The Yard, part 1. It was great and I'm glad I didn't wait for all the parts to be done, even though it will be hard to wait for the rest.

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-22 01:47 am (UTC)
I love Lex. It is the most *impossible* thing, but God, MR makes him so damn *lovable*. *sighs* It's unfair.

And thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

From: [identity profile] chasethecat.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-20 05:46 am (UTC)
Wasn't Adam a liver zombie?

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-22 01:47 am (UTC)
Oh man, don't make me cry....
ext_3740: the libertines > carl barât ([sv] good boys never win)

From: [identity profile] disprove.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-21 09:42 am (UTC)
Still, I love my show. *hugs Smallville*

Why?

And this isn't meant to be sarcastic at all. I'm interested to hear the reasons why you still *love* the show itself and aren't one of those people gritting their teeth and steeling themselves for the end of the trainwreck that is season 4.

Besides the pretty, of course *g*

From: [identity profile] seperis.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-22 01:58 am (UTC)
Lex.

Well, okay, it's ninety percent Lex. The concept does the rest.

Right, they've committed crimes against storytelling that should get them barred from the presence of keyboards and pens. The characterizations make me want to crawl under my desk and never come out sometimes. But it's such an amazing concept--I watched the Pilot and was completely hooked, all the way. Which was kind of my doom, I suppose. And I loved season two, and I can forgive a lot for the fact that there exists some of those eps.

And this isn't meant to be sarcastic at all. I'm interested to hear the reasons why you still *love* the show itself and aren't one of those people gritting their teeth and steeling themselves for the end of the trainwreck that is season 4.

Well, I am. I mean, braced and all, even knowing I'm going to hate it *so much*, I know I will. For me, it comes back to the huge, sweeping possibilities in it that, while they'll never be fulfilled now, were there at the start that sometimes struggle to the surface.

And um, I wax romantic about the could have beens. *grin* Sad but true.

From: [identity profile] jack-pride.livejournal.com Date: 2005-01-25 03:25 am (UTC)
I think Clark's stupidity is fairly even across representations. Case in point, on Lois and Clark, The New Adventures of Superman, he once explained that he couldn't stay 2 seconds to finish a conversation because he was part of the Cheese of the Month Club and he had to take in his mail. Or the cheese would, I don't know, stink?

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