Jan. 26th, 2008

In a hideously difficult decision, I am trying to decide if re-reading a fic I know I read before but do not remember counts for the tracking of my reading or not. Keep in mind I got in an ethical quandry about a story [livejournal.com profile] eleveninches described to me and I couldn't quite figure out if that counted since she gave me all the major plot points and it was just like reading, except reduced to less than forty words and without porn.

To Do List

1 hour - stare into space, claim inspiration.
30 minutes - stare into space, claim planning housework.
30 minutes - consider a course of action not staring into space.

And I got tired and gave up typing.

Actually, To-Do needs to include something like figure out why external is no longer responding. As it stopped working and I cannot get it to connect for love, money, or various pieces of Latin poetry I looked up on Wikipedia in hopes I'd accidentally hit a spell for hard drive failure. I'm not panicking even though all my media is on there. All. My. Media. And my only way to backup John II, who has shown a sudden and distressing talent for blue screening whenever I'm on youtube too long. I really have no idea what that is about, unless my mind's trying to shield me from hitting that damned vid that compiles all these horror movies like The Ring and The Grudge and The Terror or whatever (been working on repression). I keep staring at it, thinking, it won't be so bad. The thing is? I know it will be. It will take every terrifying second in each movie and condense it into a small, condensed pile and I will never sleep again and its not like I'm sleeping all that well now.

Pony

So the biggest common factor in my musical choices these days is whether someone has vidded it or not. I suspected as much earlier, but confirmation came while singing Counting Bodies Like Sheep while no where near my iPod and suddenly remembered I really used to hate that song.

So I created a playlist and went to work, pulling all songs I'd bought CDs for, downloaded, begged from friends, or got from the iTunes store. It's kind of boggling but suddenly makes sense why I get the same emotional hit from Dante's Prayer and Coming Undone by Korn on the same playlist.

The truth is--I have one playlist. I have *variations* on the playlist, but there's just one, and I add to it depending on who vidded it recently. I know this means something unhealthy, or should, but mostly, it makes an interesting argument about musical context I have neither the education nor the vocabulary to word. Suffice to say, it took me two years to find the specific version of Bolero used in an SGA vid and it moved into multiple repeat the second I found it, replacing the times I made my mother sit with me at the piano so we could play it. Some things I don't like until they have a context I can relate to, which is universally true and really doesn't need to be said.

Actually, it makes me think there must be specific mood triggers in me (everyone?) that decide like/not like in music more than actual inborn or created preference. There's a lot of music on here I listen to for context more than the music itself--ah, this one, I broke up to this one or Madelyn gave me this one after we fought! (no, this one is not real. She never gives me music after we fight. She thinks it's negative reinforcement.), and etc etc etc. I like Appalacian Spring because it was the theme song in the Coleco Vision video Game Smurfs (I miss that game so much I can't stand it) and I get tiny flashes of wandering through the woods jumping over things as a Smurf, and I loved the Smurfs.

I'm just still amused by the idea that Nezsa spent years making me listen to Rammstein and a whole host of German metal and at this point, if someone did an SGA Sheppard/McKay to it, I'd probably buy the albums and start muttering in German while testing at work. It's kind of cool.

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  • If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
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  • That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
    Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
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    Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
    Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
    Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
    -- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
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    -- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
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  • silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
    silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
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    -- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
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    -- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
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