seperis | Oct. 29th, 2006

seperis: I found smurf porn
seperis: Please hold me.
svmadelyn: weakkkkk.
svmadelyn: come on, i've read the papa smurf getting it on with the evil wizard guy story
seperis: GARGAMEL?
seperis: HE IS--
svmadelyn: yes, that is his name.
seperis: THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES!
svmadelyn: it was more of a double drabble thing
svmadelyn: he spent all that time chasing the smurfs
svmadelyn: because papa smurf was the one who'd gotten away.
seperis: I need therapy now
svmadelyn: I would have thought fandom had broken you of such things ages ago
seperis: You'd think so
seperis: But no.

Hmm. I *could* be writing. But I am googling ALF after reading tantalizing hints of Alf erotic art.

You know, I really feel I am doing something useful for fandom here. We should have a once a month competition to find ways to make us wish we could pour acid in our own eyes rather than know that such a fandom exists.

*thoughtful* Seriously. Alf porn. I want you to all think about this very seriously.

Hmm. Choices.

Fic? Or Jon Stewart? Fic or Jon? Fic or Jon? Glacier sex or Jon?

Wait.

"Situational hypothermic homosexuality," Rodney says with such utter sincerity that John has a terrible, terrible feeling that on their last trip to earth, Rodney spent far too much time on google. It's not his fault, really. The lab assistants had been idiots.

Rolling over in his sleeping bag, John stares at Rodney, up on one elbow and looking disturbingly awake for two in the morning and remarkably cheerful considering they're trapped on a glacier for the foreseeable future--or at least until Ronon and Teyla come back with a rescue jumper.

"What?" Because honestly, what the hell is the standard response to that?

Rodney smiles, like he does whenever anyone asks him a question that he created the answer for, and therefore is utterly, unbelievably right no matter what he says. "To prevent freezing," he says, and he's *unzipping his sleeping bag*. John clutches his bag closer, locking a hand around the inner zipper. "Death by cold. No one wants that."

"Are you high?" John says suspiciously. That wood they'd used earlier had smelled suspiciously spicy.

Rodney frowns, sitting up entirely, and John takes a second to consider the fact that they're, yes, in a tent, and yes, there isn't a single Ancient piece of equipment in said tent. John suppose its his own fault, really. He knows what Rodney's like when he gets bored.

"I'm trying to prevent our deaths," Rodney says calmly, and damned if he isn't unfastening his parka. "A tragic loss to the universe on my part and I'm sure you have some kind of place in the grand scheme of things that might be unfulfilled if you slowly froze to death."

*****

You know. If I spent a tenth of the time writing that I do staring at Jon Stewart's mouth? I'd have written a *novel* this weekend. A porn novel, true, repetitive, wiht sex scene after sex scene, involving whips and whipped cream and industrial size lube bottles. Boring even. I mean honestly, how many times can you have John holding Rodney down while slowly covering him with chocolate syrup and telling him he's been a bad, bad boy?

No one wants that, really.

Also, thought--is anyone but me seeing a pattern of weather related fic here? I send them into rain, with preporn by which I mean, I just sat there and wondered why in the name of God they werne't fucking, desert porn (with added alcohol! Breakfast of champions!), and now--glacier porn.

Yeah. I'm going to go watch Jon's mouth again.

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

Oct. 29th, 2006

(no subject)

(no subject)

sgaporn: situationally speaking

Profile

Links

Tags

Page Summary

Active Entries

Quotes

Credit