the most boring amusement ever

It is not exactly shocking news that I'm among the least observant people in history. It's not even deliberate, really--though I'm going to be honest and say that, if you knew me in RL, about a quarter of the time, it probably is. Unless I'm *really* comfortable, unnaturally happy, or more than a little drunk, I usually have no idea what to say to people I don't know well and take the passive aggressive stance of hiding behind a book and looking *really* interested.

Yes, right, anyway.

When I leaned over the other day, my sister let out a shriek of horror, much like that of the girl in King Kong, which led me, of course, to consider the idea that extremely overgrown primates were invading. Alternately, that she was being killed right behind me. Frankly, the primates sounded more fun, but when I didn't see any, I turned around anyway, at which time Sister pushed me *back* around.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR BACK?"

Frankly, I was kind of surprised--far as I knew, which wasn't that far, I mean, how often do you check out your own *back*-it was fine.



For that amount of drama, I was thinking that I'd been skinned or possibly, great pustules had erupted. Color me surprised to see nothing, until she pointed out a little mound of scar tissue at the small of my back.

*sighs*

My family. I love them. I do. They are a good family. But as far as observation skills go, we have a genetic predisposition not to know and/or remember anything useful about each other.

"Do you want shrimp, Jenn?"

(Slowly but surely, I've been breaking people into calling me Jenn. It's just less confusing in the long run.)

*resigned* "I can't stand shrimp, mom."

*shocked* "Since when?"

"Age eight or so."

"Huh."

We have this conversation pretty much ten or fifteen times a year, ever year, for two decades. More when I was growing up and shrimp was on sale. Sometimes, we'd have it once a week.

Anyway, sister demanded when I'd scarred up my back. I pointed out that, while dramatic and rather a cool way to start a conversation, my back wasn't *scarred up* and an inch and a half square barely qualified as noticeable.

But it happened about eight years ago. And it's *not* much, but it *is* funny, as I was working fast food at the time and was leaning over to pick up something. The thingamagiggie that you open the windows with to hand food to customers--we had one that opened when you pushed against it with your hips--well, it was broken with an exposed screw. A *remote* exposed screw, that under normal, sane circumstances, couldn't possibly be brushed up against, which just strengthens my argument that our assistant manager was the antichrist.

Anyway, I ripped open the small of my back in a clean, scrapey line that bled copiously. Being surrounded by comedians never helps--my boss, doubtless seeing lawsuits dancing in his head, took me to the back, where I leaned over a counter with my shirt pulled up under my arms and my jeans undone so he could clean, sterilize, and stitch--well, no, he didn't stitch, but God, did it hurt, and damn, did it bleed. Everyone made amused comments, which frankly, were probably justified.

It didn't scar that badly, but it's the same general place they put the much adored, frequently worshipped, and deeply, deeply appreciated epidural when my son was born. Which might have contributed toward the entire scar thing, and that was *seven years ago*.



In far more interesting news, got an email from a chick I knew in Voyager, who somehow stumbled across me again, and *very cool*. Very excited, too--we lost touch after I switched fandoms. Multi-fandom-catching up is just surreal.

I'm so easy to make happy. *g*

I need something new to read.

Comments

[kernezelda]

Heh. Your family sounds like me.

Was this the same place where you made cheese sculptures and towers?

Read/watch Farscape!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Yep, this was Cheese Sculpture Central. Honestly, the sad thing is that is probably the most creative job I've ever had.

Read/watch Farscape!

The finale was too depressing. Though I've heard rumor of a miniseries coming out?

[kernezelda]

Yes! Yes! Yes! In the fall, on Sci-Fi Channel.

It's supposed to wrap up several story arcs.

[thornsilver]

How do you feel about new fandoms. I am still trying to recruit people to Weiss Kreuz. I have a nice page of stories for you....

[seperis.livejournal.com]

What is Weiss Kreuz?

*curious*

[thornsilver]

It's an anime fandom. But you don't have to know anything but the basics about it to enjoy the stories. In fact I read viridian5's stories first, before getting to the cannon. Here's her explination as to why she loves the fandom.

And for the stories themselves, go here.

And later I can always pump Eroica fandom.

There aren't enough decent writers in anime/manga fandoms. Sadly.

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

i just learned about faceblindness (http://www.faceblind.org/research/) yesterday and realized that i might have a mild case of it...(and i'm not even sure if i found the link on my flist now)...i am usually utterly unaware about what's going on around me...i certainly could be part of your family. LOL.

as for new fandom...i'm still hoping!!! *see icon*

[sisabet.livejournal.com]

Omigod - my sister drdawn totally has this. Seriously - she can't even tell who the actors on SNL are if they are in costume ("Will Ferrell is the cheerleader? No way!") and until someone speaks to her, she just won't recognize them. Sometimes not even then. Wow - now we know why. Cool.

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

that's exactly how i felt when i read that last night...my husband always ridicules me about not recognizing the protagonist when they put on a hat :-)

i'm glad now that i linked it.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Okay, that was a cool link. Huh.

as for new fandom...i'm still hoping!!! *see icon*

I forgot to email them to you, didn't I? I will when I get home tonight. *facepalms* Gar.

[cathexys.livejournal.com]

yeah...thanks for kindly taking my attempt to gently hint (due to the not awareness of my environment, subtle tends to not be in my vocabulary. LOL)

[cjandre.livejournal.com]

hmmmm

So what are you interested in?

I could rec you some Sentinel fic.

Fruit of the Vine (http://www.squidge.org/archive/archive/firsts2/fruitof.html) by Aristide, an amazingly erotic introduction to The Sentinel.


Or if you want to read something really chilling and erotic at the same time...

The Dragon (http://www.squidge.org/archive/archive/drama5/dragon.html)

This is one of my favorite supernatural fanfics EVER. Creepy and as erotic as HELL.

Or if you want high quality curtain fic: I still believe (http://www.squidge.org/archive/archive/5/istill.html)

Calling this curtain fic really does it an injustice, almost. It's not just about settling down, it's about what it means to dedicate your life to another person and all the joys and fears that go with that. This is the first of a series of stand alone stories in the Dorset County universe - and it's my favorite. It's also a first time - which is kind of odd - but it works the way Dasha handles it.

so there you go.

*g*

Go read.

:-)

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*grins* The Sentinel, hmm?

You know, I don't think I've ever *read* a Sentinel story.

*mulls*

[skadi.livejournal.com]

Stories like this are the reason I read live journal.

I'd love to have an amusing story to tell back, but unfortunately, I'm the unobservant one.

Like, my parents moved this huge bureau into the bathroom and when I pointed this out a few months later ("Hey! There's a bureau in there!), I was lavishly mocked.

*shakes fist in family's dirction*

Yeah, why would you put a bureau in the bathroom in the first place. That's my question.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Like, my parents moved this huge bureau into the bathroom and when I pointed this out a few months later ("Hey! There's a bureau in there!), I was lavishly mocked.

*snickers*

My sister was very impressed after three months, I realized she'd dyed her hair brown from light blonde.

*shakes fist in family's dirction*

Yeah, why would you put a bureau in the bathroom in the first place. That's my question.

You know, it's one of the mysteries of families. Maybe just to confuse you?

I always suspect this when my grandmother sends me outlandish recipes. I ask you, *who* has saffron and wild game casually tossed in their cupboard?

*looks at grandmother* I'm so on to you.

[secretrebel.livejournal.com]

Yup... I understand that. Although similar conversations in my house tend to happen between my parents because my father = not so observant while my mother = extremely so.

Father: Would you like a yoghurt?
Mother: She doesn't like yoghurt.
Father: Doesn't like yoghurt? *astounded look*
Mother: No, she doesn't. She never has. That's why she always says no when you offer her some. *cue long explanation of history of yoghurt dislike*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing* Oh man.

[nyn.livejournal.com]

Oh, I feel your pain. I have the shrimp conversation with my mother every time she cooks steak or pork chops or any other type of chunks of meat. I've been almost a vegetarian since the 6th grade. I only eat small portions of things like chicken, or fish, or meat ground up into products that don't resemble meat, like in a taco. And I'm not shy about telling people so, which is why it makes me grind my teeth to have this conversation once a month:

Mother: [Nyn], aren't you going to take a steak?
Me: ::long-suffering sigh:: I don't eat steak, mom.
Mother: Really?! But I made you a steak...
Me: I haven't eaten steak since I was 11! ::glares::
Mother: Well, what am I going to do with a whole extra steak?
Me: ::grates out:: I. don't. know. Perhaps the same thing you do with all of the other pieces of meat that I DON'T EAT!
Mother: ::looks offended:: Well, you should've said something earlier.

This is a very common type of conversation when dealing with her. In fact, I just got off the phone with her because she needed to know some information that I've told her no less than half a dozen times on three separate occasions. At least this time she admitted that maybe she heard it before, but just didn't write it down.

sigh. ::loves mother::