folgers commercials personally offend me now

Coffee

So this weekend, while at Central Market, I bravely walked up to the nice people in bulk foods and told them to point me at the lowest possible acid coffee, because okay, I am not saying I might snap and destroy worlds here if I don't get coffee--I am saying I will destroy solar systems a la Rodney McKay. After extensive reading and buying two kinds of medication, I am going to cold brew and live in hope, because I love tea and orange juice and chocolate milk, but it is but a candle to the Alexandrian lighthouse of coffee.

They pointed me at Jamaican Blue Mountain. In the rows and rows and rows of coffee, the only one they could recommend was the a.) most expensive and b.) the only coffee on earth that I kind of hate. I mean, as much as one can hate one's soulmate and Alexandrian lighthouse.

But! You'll be shocked to know that suddenly it's not hated; it may be my only hope and by definition that makes it my favorite ever, provided this works. Also, they found me a Blue Mountain blend that was easier on my bank account. I also found an organic sumatran that came highly recommended on some websites for being very mild and I've tried that one before and it's really good.

Please please please let this work. I feel really uncomfortable how many times I sneak into the kitchen to clutch the beans to my chest, open the bag, and smell them.

Other Stuff

In other food news, after some reading, I'm going to try to rearrange the foods that are giving me problems and see if cutting down the number of times I have them would let me keep them, because bacon, seriously. Bacon.

Will have new Wii game reviews this week. By that, I mean, squee.

Today in Lowered Expectations

Today in Lowered Expectations (Screw the stars! Aim for that slight rise of land nearby!): I will not throw my orange juice at anyone just because it is not coffee. I reserve the right to throw it, however, if I'm doing it because they annoy me.

It's good to keep one's expectations realistic.

Comments

[nafs]

If anyone gives you orange juice and tells you it *is* coffee, or to *pretend* it's coffee, I feel you are still justified in throwing it. Just saying.

[seperis]

I love how you think! *beams*

[scy]

I am hopeful that this works out for you. *crosses fingers*

[pixel]

I'm fairly sure that being forced to stop coffee would be something like soul-rending agony. *crosses fingers for you*

[everysecondtuesday]

Good luck with the low acid coffee! Seriously, there is so much wincing on your behalf from me.

[concinnity]

I had an actual, physical sympathy pain for you and your lack of coffee. Once I quit cold turkey and it was three weeks of migraines and wanting to kill everyone (although I had been up to three pots a day, which in retrospect seems a little excessive).

[lorelei76]

I hope the cold brewing works out for you - it's my saving grace ever since anything acidic (especially coffee) would jack me up so very badly. I can't have my pot-of-coffee a day infusion anymore, but I can have 2 cups a day without my stomach attempting to secede from my body via my esophagus.

[tetsubinatu.livejournal.com]

Seperis, am I missing something? Isn't orange juice kinda... acidic?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

So far, it's not bothering me, and it's not one I thought about until I'd already had some last week. So. *hands* No coffee, limited tea, but orange juice and chocolate milk (and according to the lit my doctor gave me, that's problematic too) is a-okay.

Maybe type of acid makes the difference?

[tetsubinatu.livejournal.com]

I guess it must! Good luck for you, anyway. You don't want to give up anything you don't have to!

[jazzy-peaches.livejournal.com]

I really hope the new coffee works out for you because personally I know I would cry if I couldn't drink coffee. I really love cold press, though, so hopefully you enjoy it too!

Also, fyi from someone who works at a coffee place- if you do ever have the need for something hot, you can order steamed cold press, which sounds ridiculous but is also very tasty.

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

They lied about the coffee.

Sumatran, especially Mahdeling, is very, very low in the quality technically known as "acid" (which may or may not be the same as pH). I think maybe because of that, it *feels* higher in caffeine -- it really pops the eyeballs open. Dark Roast may or may not be lower in acid than regular.

Cold-brewing (http://www.ehow.com/how_4904365_low-acid-coffee.html) will make any coffee lower in pH.

[prettybird.livejournal.com]

*crosses fingers* Good luck. That organic Sumatran sounds like a good bet - aged coffees tend to be less acidic.

[bellewhan.livejournal.com]

*unlurking*

I was chatting with a nice older lady the other day and she told me how she prepares her acid-free coffee.

she steeps ground coffee, quite a high concentration of grounds to water (possibly 1:4) for 24-48 hours. The resultant solution is filtered through a thick filter (she held her fingers about an inch apart). The resultant liquor is thick and smaller volumes are diluted with hot water to make coffee.

[bellewhan.livejournal.com]

I AIM'd my friend to email her mum and her mum uses a "Toddy" available at http://www.toddycafe.com/

You could try this first, though:
http://www.ineedcoffee.com/06/coldhome/

[verizonhorizon.livejournal.com]

THIS: Screw the stars! Aim for that slight rise of land nearby! My favorite quote of the day. God, I've really changed....

Also, when I see 'Lowered Expectations', I can't help thinking of the SNL sketches of the same name, especially the way the sing 'lowered expectaaaaaaations.'

I didn't realize how dependent I was on coffee until I stopped drinking it for two days and felt terribly sick. A cup of joe and my ills were cured. Scary.

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

When I got my tongue pierced, I went abruptly from 4-6 cups a day to 1, maybe 2 if I was feeling brave (hot liquid plus fresh piercing = paaain). It actually took me four or five days to peg to why I suddenly wanted to sleep all day and kill the whole world.

[verizonhorizon.livejournal.com]

I was in denial, too! I couldn't figure out why I was so sick. I almost went to the doctor. But then I called my dietitian friend and she asked the relevant questions, solving the 'mystery'. I'd had no idea what was wrong with me. I couldn't believe I something I love could hurt me so!

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

I figured it out pretty much by accident. It had been a bad day, and one of my automatic reactions to bad day is a cup of coffee. It wasn't terribly comfortable, but I felt so much better afterwards that the little light finally went on in the attic.

I have a lot of sympathy for people who are trying to quit smoking.

[welfycat.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly certain that if Rodney McKay didn't get his coffee there would be a lot more than just most of a solar system destroyed.

Good luck with the coffee thing, I wish I could offer some advice but I do not drink coffee in any form as I avoid caffeine as much as possible (I have weird reactions) and decaf is gross.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

Do you have a Barnie's Coffee near you? You can buy specific amounts and have it ground-I used to do that all the time,back when I drank coffee, and put it in the freezer.

The coffee we have at work is ~atrocious and very acidic, so I've had to gradually wean myself off it. They have one of those K-cup machines, not a regular brewer, so I can't even bring my own! Plus, it's been periodically infested with teeny spiders, so...yeah, NO. o.0

[iiyorinn.livejournal.com]

Actually, we have the K-cup machines at work, and they each came with a separate cup that you could put your own grounds in and then put in the machine. I'm sure they sell them separately from the machines if you're interested. However, I'm with you on the spiders - that might be insurmountable, even if you had an individual k-cup thingie.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

We don't have that-and now that the spiders are gone, I still can't bring myself to use it, lol. Just ugh! 0.o


It's a shame, because when we originally got the machine, it came with a sample selection that was really good-lots of variety, and some breakfast teas, as well. But the manager's too cheap to spring for that and gets 3 kinds, a Columbian blend, an Italian one, and Irish Hazelnut...and all of them are gross, very ~very acidic. Almost no one drinks the coffee any more except one of the Cuban doctors.

I loved the speed of it, and being able to have fresh coffee in seconds. Hmmm...I've seen those K-cups in the grocery store now and then. I just might check out how much those packages are, and if I find one I like, I'll get it and hide it at work (so they can't snitch them, lol).

It's a habit I shouldn't get back into, but I do love good coffee with certain foods. :D

[lunefin.livejournal.com]

What about aged sumatran? I hear that has low acidity. Joe's coffee house has a really nice aged sumatran mandheling and they have a mother's day sale going on now! Still kinda pricy though.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't do coffee, but isn't Kona supposed to be smooth and easy on the stomach?

--Jessica

[lurkerlynne.livejournal.com]

Rodney destroyed that solar system by accident; imagine what he/you could do deliberately. And possibly with malice aforethought.

I'm getting Crimes Against Humanity vibes....

[phoenix4.livejournal.com]

I hesitate to suggest this in case it doesn't work for you:

Wired: Why Dark Coffee is Easier On Your Stomach. (http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/03/why-dark-coffee-is-easier-on-your-stomach/)

I'm currently trying it out myself with some $3.99 Trader Joe's Dark Roast (ulcer, not nearly as bad as your reaction). I have noticed a difference, but the TJ's Breakfast Blend medium roast just tastes so much better, drat it.