i bet something here is not like the other

Okay, if you watch Big Bang Theory--is it wrong to still hate Leonard? I have a bad feeling that Leonard's biggest problem is that I want to set him on fire (metaphorically). I can't even figure out why, except it's like, he almsot embodies Nice Guy, in a geek variation, and--well, fire.

Kindle is not delivered yet, so I am kind of hyperexamining my life and my media choices.

Comments

[seperis]

I have been thinking why they differ for me, and one third of it is Leonard's utter lack of confidence in pretty much anything about himself drives me nuts. But I nailed it two comments up when I realized he's the type of geek I'd never tell about my involvement with fandom. And it's not because I think he'd make fun of me (other than playfully); I think his subconscious would follow along with his general shame of being geeky and look down on me for it (and that's true of a lot of geeks about fandom, but his comes wired with that extra special dislike of his own geekness would make it worse).

I have a really strong geek-girl reaction to that. I am not saying this is better than the guys who would openly mock on sight, but if I was on like, a third date and feeling we have a working connection and I'd feel him out, getting a rush of that geek-shame would be pretty much a slap in the face. I mean, I get where it comes from, but from him it would feel like a betrayal. It's an unfair standard, I know, but it's one he created fairly deliberately. Even as a friend, I would not at all enjoy the moment if a hot girl came up during say, us talking about the Master and Apprentice series and he throws me under the bus (automatically, not even malice, which is what makes it harder to deal with) because it's so ingrained to hide it, be ashamed of it, or be ironic about it.