alexa toothbrush brushes smarter

As many of you know, it's Amazon Prime Day (1), and I felt it my duty to bring unto you the latest Alexa-enabled objects.

Oral-B Guide, Alexa Built-In, Amazon Dash Replenishment Enabled, Electric Toothbrush, White, Smart Brushing System

Yes, that's an Alexa-enabled toothbrush.

From the website, because when I try to summarize this I begin to scream (no idea why):

- You will receive 1 Oral-B electric toothbrush, 1 Amazon Alexa enabled smart charger base, 1 Oral-B brush head and a quick start guide to get set-up

- The smart charger has an LED quad pacer to help guide your brushing, the white light represents 30 seconds in each quadrant, red for over-pressure and green when you complete 2 minutes of brushing

- The smart charger is a WiFi enabled base that works like a fitness tracker, it captures information about your brushing sessions, which you can access via the Oral-B Connect App or optional email summaries. Improve your habits and track progress over time

- Handle includes 6 cleaning modes: Daily clean, gum care, sensitive, whitening, tongue cleaning and pro clean. The round oscillating and rotating brush head removes 100% more plaque vs. manual brushing

- Use Amazon Alexa during your daily routine to play music, answer questions, read the news, control your smart home, check the weather, set alarms, and more. And, its designed to be water resistant with 360 degree high quality sound

- Never run out of brush heads with Amazon Dash replenishment service, get genuine Oral-B quality refills delivered to your door

- Oral-B guide sets up in minutes, simply download the Oral-B connect app, pair your brush to the base and create an account. You're ready to brush smarter.

Yep. You're ready to brush smarter.

So I'm like, eighty-six point three percent sure we're currently under AI rule already, so I think we can safely say Terminator and The Matrix gave us really unrealistic expectations regarding the intentions of our robot overlords (to tempt us with voice controlled everything), and also our own collective resistance against them (didn't). Truthfully, I have no idea how I feel about this.

Comments

[niqaeli]

I just.

I am not anti-Alexa in, like, theory. I'm not even in PRACTICE, we literally have a puck in our living room and use it. But also: WHYYYYYYYYYYY. I am screaming right along with you. There is no summarising this, there is only screaming.

[seperis]

Seriously, I acknowledge I sold my soul to Alexa to live Star Trek, and there are a lot of people that benefit from smart items/appliances/things. Smart blankets and smart tableware are incredibly useful for the elderly or to help people live independently and by God lets make a market so they're cheap for everyone. Cheap voice command is genuinely making people's life better.

...but I cannot for the life of me work out what the hell benefit this is, practically speaking. Other than if you really want to feel judged during your toothbrushing or something.

[niqaeli]

Other than if you really want to feel judged during your toothbrushing or something.

And, like. If that's what you want, you're still better off finding a dom to do it for you than offloading it to fucking Amazon.

Seriously. I cannot even. There is only screaming, no even to be had.

[seperis]

And, like. If that's what you want, you're still better off finding a dom to do it for you than offloading it to fucking Amazon.

Amazon Alexa Dom (TM) is now being invented as we speak and I scream endlessly in my heart.

[akacat]

I mean, the toothbrush has to be cheaper than hiring a dom 2x a day, every day?