I have had a bad moonpie.

I don't know what to do with this.

I got it for Child, because hey, moonpie. Opened it up, and okay, a three decker moonpie was weird (I'm a purist, okay?) but that's also more moonpie so I dealt with it, and then Child looked horrified after a bite. I assumed he was evil (as one does; who looks like that after a moonpie?) then took a bite myself.

For a moment, I suspected I was evil too, but seriously, what the fuck was that? It's a moonpie, not baked Alaska; we are not talking about a complex dish. It is marshmellow stuck between graham crackers and covered in chocolate or other layer of artificial and delicious flavoring. It is like a smore gone corporate. And it tasted like feet had been involved.


The sun has just stopped shining, cats and dogs are lying down together, and my childhood called and disowned me.
ilyena_sylph: picture of Labyrinth!faerie with 'careful, i bite' as text (Default)

2010-06-13 10:02 pm (UTC)
...I am a bad Southerner, I can't stand the things, but ... that sounds horrific.
scy: (Default)

[personal profile] scy
2010-06-13 10:21 pm (UTC)
*cuddles you*

I had a piece of pie that was evil a couple weeks ago. I imagine my expression was much like yours.

We should never be betrayed by sugary desserts.
lorelei76: sherlock bbc (Default)

2010-06-14 12:00 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry about your bad moonpie.

...also please pardon me for cracking up like a lunatic.

I'd offer you green tea mochi cupcakes (imagine mochi. Now toast the outside so it's nice and crisp and browned. Imagine biting into this crisp exterior and getting a mouthful of chewy, warm gooey innards. Imaging green tea custard sort-of burning your tongue, but it's pain you can live with. Yeah, I made that today and it's awesome and I will gain 50 pounds from eating an entire tray in one sitting.) except they do not travel well. Also, I'm betting this will be horrible when it cools down :-(
iadorespike: (WTF by gilkurtis)

2010-06-14 12:17 am (UTC)
Wow. A bad moonpie. That's a crime against nature. I know that the next time I consider indulging, I'll probably just end up looking at it suspiciously. :(

So sorry this happened to you and the child. :(

ext_1890: (Default)

2010-06-13 09:10 pm (UTC)
I haven't had a good moonpie in ages. Every one I've tried has been dried out beyond recognition and now I see them in stores and I can't bring myself to get my hopes up; I pass them by.

It - changes a person, you know?
ext_1890: (Default)

2010-06-13 09:12 pm (UTC)
We should try to find a moonpie while you're here. I can be brave if you're around. I have to get back on the bicycle eventually, you know? *chews nails*

2010-06-13 09:24 pm (UTC)
*nod* It does. This--I spit out moonpie. I don't think I'll ever be the same again.

*shudder* There was nothing about it that wasn't wrong.

2010-06-13 09:11 pm (UTC)
what is a moonpie? never heard of it :)

2010-06-13 09:25 pm (UTC)
Moon Pie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_pie)

It is delicious.

2010-06-14 07:39 am (UTC)
interesting! :)

2010-06-13 09:22 pm (UTC)
After years - by which I mean a couple of decades plus five - of hearing various folk from the United States I've [been friends with/known/spoken to while stood at a bus shelter] go on (and on) about how great moonpies are, I gave one a go when I was in New York a couple of summers ago...

...and came to the conclusion that they put crack in most US water supplies.

Just...UGH WHAT THE FUCK EWWWWW GROSS! I was expecting real awesomeness after all that talking up of them I'd heard. It was just...disgusting. Gut-churningly disgusting. I wouldn't be surprised if they were nice, maybe those 25 years ago when I first heard about them. But in NYC in 2008... *pulls face and longs for TimTams*

2010-06-13 09:26 pm (UTC)

*shudders* There was nothing about it that wasn't utterly wrong.

2010-06-13 09:29 pm (UTC)
I feel so bad for you, but on the other hand this was so funny I had to read it aloud to the husband.

2010-06-13 09:46 pm (UTC)
Completely unrelated snack story: My cousin once told me that he went to a small shop (gas station?) and was very pleasantly surprised to see that they still had "Raider". Now, Raider had been renamed Twix several years before that. The snack itself was unchanged, but lots of people liked the old name. So he was al "yay" for finding out that somebody still made raider, except of course nobody did and those raiders in that shop were actually about 10 years old and still lying there...

A similar thing happened to my aunt when she bought pure Marzipan (really finely ground suger-almond-mix) for baking. She was happy, because she hadn't managed to find any in the USA before that. Only it turned out that it had been sitting there for so long that it had totally dired out and become almost rock like...

And to really go for tl;dr:
When I first read moonpie I had no idea what it was and I googled, but before that i thoght of mooncake. My friend brought some (industrial, packed one) from her trip to Vietnam (she has family there) and told us that it's a holiday delicacy, only none of the German people who tried it liked it at all. For me it tasted REALLY weird. But then people all over the world have very different ideas of what tasted good (as desert). (We do usually love her cooking.)

2010-06-13 10:25 pm (UTC)
This probably doesn't help you right now but I can make moonpies that I am told are pretty good! They are not that hard to make, (Marshmallow is pretty simple to make) It's so disappointing when something that should taste so good tastes so bad! Maybe try making them, I can send you the recipe if you want.

I wish you a good moonpie soon.

2010-06-13 10:36 pm (UTC)
I feel like a bad person - I laughed at your pain. But it was such funny pain!

2010-06-13 10:40 pm (UTC)
I feel really, really regretful about how hard I just laughed at your pain.

2010-06-13 10:55 pm (UTC)
Either those guys cheapened the recipe (and sold out our childhood) or our taste buds have changed, because the last moonpie I had as a spur-of-the-moment purchase made me sorry I'd taken a bite, too.

::SO SAD::

2010-06-13 11:33 pm (UTC)

yes, the bitterness and pain does linger. No more Mars Bars...screw you Almond Snickers you are Not a Mars Bar.

2010-06-13 11:52 pm (UTC)
How the hell does someone mess up a MOONPIE?!

That's like messing up a PB&J sandwich.

2010-06-14 02:09 am (UTC)

2010-06-14 02:12 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry, that sounds horribly scarring D:

2010-06-14 03:11 am (UTC)
That's a terrible terrible thing... They still taste pretty good down here... where do you live?

2010-06-14 10:39 pm (UTC)
At some time in the past five years there was mention of the fact that the major chocolate makers were changing their chocolate recipe (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26788143/). I didn't give it much thought as candy bars aren't something I normally eat but when the next Halloween rolled around and I indulged in a Reese's peanut butter cup I could not believe how awful it tasted. Like peanuts covered in wax. It was disgusting and I don't plan on eating a US candy bar anytime soon.


seperis: (Default)



If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers.
--unknown, BTS list

That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...

Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
--pricklyelf on why Lex goes bad

Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
--Teague reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"

Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
--AIM, 12/24/2003

I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
--AIM, anonymous, 2/17/2004

In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
--AIM, silverkyst, 3/25/2004

Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
--LJ, 4/2/2004

silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
--AIM, 1/25/2005

You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
--LJ, Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years, 3/15/2005

Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
--LJ, Summerfling, on shower sex, 7/22/2005

It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
--LJ, revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit, 2/7/2006

Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
--LJ, cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny, 4/13/2006

Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
--LJ, deadlychameleon, on class, 9/1/2007

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- Tweeted by JRDSkinner

Style Credit

  • Style: New White V.2 for White Spaces v.2
March 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 2019