seperis | (no subject)

Re-reading Anne of Green Gables made me adventurous earlier this year and I decided I would re-read Emily of New Moon.

Oh my God. I hate her. How can I hate her? It's Emily. I think I am broken in some fundamental way!

I also casually slashed Teddy with everyone mentally just to see if it would trip my squick. Here is what I learned; I also now really want Darcy/Wickham.

That is all. Just--trauma. And whatnot.

Wow. I could be more boring, but I think it would involve a long, loving description of fly fornication while naming the anatomical parts correctly. Sad.

Your icon in conjunction with Anne Shirley made my brain break.

Just so you know.

B

...wow. I wish I could say i was going for deliberate contrast, but I just matched mood to keyword.

*tilts head* Can I *pretend* it was ironic contrast?

*waves hand* as you wish.

I am still broken.

*g*

B

I loved Emily when I was about eleven, but I started re-reading "Emily Climbs" (my former favorite volume) and I found her pretentious and annoying.

Pairings I want more than any of the canonical ones:

Ilse/Emily
Teddy/Perry
Teddy/Dean (I find this strangely charming where Emily/Dean is just creepy)
Ilse/all the girls in high school

Ilse was awesome. Emily--God. Emily Climbs was when I derailed completely. The snobbery drove me nuts. I get it was right for the time, but at least in Anne's books, it wasn't so blatant.

I don't remember the details, but I remember *really* disliking her and finding Teddy to be incredibly boring. What a letdown after Anne.

Yeah, Teddy--didn't do all that much. Kind of painted stuff. And then--painted stuff. And sometimes talked. A little.

*sad*

Darcy/Wickham? No. Just... no.

Darcy/Fitz? Now as far as i am concerned taht was practically canon. Obviously back when they were young and before Bingley came on the seen. But absolutely. Darcy and Fit were that fun, coltish, boy love before Darcy became guardian of his sister, and felt the weight of his social position quite so much.

Darcy/Wickham would be... messed up. Do you see it as before or after the abduction of Ms Darcy? Oooooh, or perhaps part of the bribe to marry Lydia?

*Arggggh* No no no ! I have work to do and I have already said no to this pairing! I WILL NOT SLASH JANE AUSTEN CHARACTERS ESPECIALLY THESE TWO - DAMN YOU JENN!!!!

*Runs and hides from the images dancing through her head of elegant hands and sordid boarding houses*

Wow, when I have thought of Darcy/Wickham I always assumed it would be before Georgiana - a contributing factor to their current animosity - but making it part of the bribe is delightful. But the scenarios are not mutually exclusive!!

Actually that would work really well - if someone were writing it - which I'm not - but if someone were... then perhaps there was a before, and bitter rejection, and Georgiana was both a gold-digging move and petty revenge of a jilted lover. And then years later, the dynamic replays, and Wickham has the leverage he's always wanted to force darcy to see him...

Of course this is not being written.

*runs, runs fast away from the evil regency plot bunnies in high boots and ruffly shirts...*

I do have the DVD downstairs to watch...

Darcy/Wickham at Oxford! When Darcy was young and impressionable and smart and Wickham was popular and manipulative, and how was poor Darcy supposed to know what was coming?

Also, Edmund Bertram/Henry Crawford from Mansfield Park. I have a mental list. Sometimes, it scares me. Just a little.

*Arggggh* No no no ! I have work to do and I have already said no to this pairing! I WILL NOT SLASH JANE AUSTEN CHARACTERS ESPECIALLY THESE TWO - DAMN YOU JENN!!!!

JASON BOURNE/JOHN SHEPPARD. IF I CAN WRITE THAT, YOU CAN WRITE THIS.

*GLEE*

The room was dim, the shutters still closed, a it smelt of stale port, cheap stew, rancid sweat, and other base activities Darcy refused to think about.

He focused instead on the man in front of him. Not on his throat, or the glimpse of chest where his stained shirt was undone, and certainly not on the trailing laces of the man's breeches or his long, wide-flung legs, but on his eyes, a watery blue that shifted up and down in a knowing, and predictable way.

"You think to buy me off so easily?" Wickham shifted to slouch down further in the wing backed arm chair, sliding elegant hands over threadbare brocade.

"I think to make you sensible to how little there is to gain from continuing in this wasteful manner." Darcy kept his voice cold with little effort, and didn't even hitch his breath when Wickham rolled his hips as if settling deeper into the seat, although the cushion was thin and hard. "Your reputation will become widely known if you do not find it in yourself to behave honorably towards Miss Lydia Bennet and her family. I assure you there will be no easy marks for your libertine ways after this. You will be shunned by society."

Wickham had the temerity to laugh. "Think you that I won't be anyway, with a chit like Lydia at my side? I'm afraid you'll have to sweeten the pot, Dar. You always were good at that."

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH MY BRAIN IS BREAKING. I SHOULD NOT BE READING THIS AND ENJOYING IT. *HEADDESKS*

*passes you the arnica bottle for the bruises*

Neither should I, but I try to take comfort in the fact that if *enough* of us do, we'll at least have the critical mass to demand that the entire fic be written so we can read it and ~~have a huge amount of fun~~ get the images out of our brains at last.

I somehow blocked this from my memory.

Let me see if I can do that again.

*pounding in the distance*

DARCY DO NOT DO IT.

I liked Emily of New Moon but I didn't like any of the rest of the books except for when Ilse ran away and married Perry. I loved loved loved Magic For Marigold though it was awesome! And The Blue Castle

Oh, that was *so cute*. Teh only thing that bothered me was the pacing at the end. But I loved Ilse going to Perry. It was perfect.

Oh, Emily. With the whole thing with the stalkery neighbor (was that Dean?) and burning the manuscript and falling down the stairs! It was all so DRAMATIC and 17-year-old, you know?

And yet pathetic. Emily was pathetic. Made me crazy.

And yes, Teddy was dull as dishwater.

God yes. *Irritating*. *grinds teeth*

I just found my old copy of Jane of Lantern Hill, and I'm looking forward to taking it on my week away next week and rolling around in the flowery language, righteous teen anger, and Parent Trap: Now With 100% Less Twins! plot. It's going to be awesome.

Hands down, my favorite L.M. Montgomery book has to be her collection of short stories, Along the Shore. Those are fantastic.

I need to read that one. Both of those. *makes note*

I'm sorry.

Darcy/Bingley OTP

Yeah, that's definitely good too; I think just depends on what kind of dynamic you like in your slash; my theory:

Darcy/Bingley : Harry/Ron :: Darcy/Wickham : Harry/Draco

Now I just have to figure out what corresponds to Harry/Snape. Elizabeth/Lady Catherine de Bourgh ??

(APOLOGIES TO EVERYONE FOR THAT)

Now I just have to figure out what corresponds to Harry/Snape. Elizabeth/Lady Catherine de Bourgh ??

*twitches* I'm using the icon I've labeled 'mental bleach', and it's still not helping. *twitches*

'Scuse me for budging in, but I read some where that Mary Sue, I mean, Emily was LM's most autobiograghical character, or something, Do I mean biograghical?

At any rate, that probably accounts for a lot of the crappiness of the books. I prefer Jane Of Lantern Hill, myself.

*bites lip* You know, if that's true, that explains a lot.

Yeah, Emily was a bit of a massive let down after Anne [who y'know I loved and wanted to BE and related with so damn much with the whole off in her own world thing and AJSHKASDJKHSD GILBERT!!111 ♥].

Emily was just... too much of a snob and irritating I guess. I still love the books but she irks me. Isle however is brilliant. :D Didn't really mind Teddy. Loved Perry though. :P

I liked Jane of Lantern Hill a lot.

Ilse was awesome. I loved her.

Okay, *really* reading Jane of Lantern Hill now.

I read Wickham, and in my head thought Bingley, and that made perfect sense (Why does the good natured Bingley put up with the obnoxious Mr. Darcy? Why does the intelligent and interesting Mr. Darcy put up with the seemingly too tolerant Bingham? Put in SGA AU context, it all makes sense. John Bingham's good nature is a front, etc., Rodney Darcy is really just that awesome. Anyways. I'm sure this has been done.)

Wickham/Darcy though....that's crazy! And also Hi-larious. Such angst and tragic underpinnings!

*giggles* I like hilarity combined with uberangst.

A friend of mine read the Emily books as an adult and was 100% squicked by the inappropriate feelings that one adult guy had towards Emily for the whole book and was traumatized by the fact that she almost married a pedophile. =))

Also: Pat of Silver Bush was my favorite series, despite its terribly unfortunate name.

Okay, so that *is* there. I kept wondering if I was reading it wrong, because Dean kinda skeeved me a lot.

I can't believe that this is the comment, of all possible topics, that I'd de-lurk on, but I just read this story a couple days ago and so I present to you Profanation of Our Joys (http://www.austen.com/derby/malini15.htm). Summary: "Wickham must deal with his unrequited love of Darcy."

So, there's that.

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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
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BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
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In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
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Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
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-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
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-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
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Adding for Mastodon.
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Base style: Open Spaces by seperis
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