so the evil overlord list is not being studied, i take it

So everyone knows already about Constance McMillen and the fake prom and in case you didn't know, the hijacking of facebook page set up to mock her with truly bizarre and hilarious (and sometimes depressing) results. Also, there's a list of the students and parents that attended the "totally not a prom" prom, who have been really helpful in like, announcing themselves on facebook. With pictures.

Give me a second.

Okay.

I have to say, with due respect for Constance and what she's dealing with, this is like, the most immensely comforting shitty behavior ever. These are the people that want to/support restricting the rights of non-straight, non-gender-comformative students and they are this startlingly stupid.

You have a secret prom wait, party, no, prom and your genius selves post pictures under your real name and profile with the words 'prom' visible. Do you not know what a secret is? Or know not to call it the prom? Really?

Okay, let's say all along they planned this to be an open secret to be revealed with great drama and hilarity. At what point in this clever plan that you would ~magically~ reveal did you think this would go well for you? On Facebook? On the internet? Accessible by millions and millions of people with a lot of time on their hands, a broadband connection, a general sense of right and wrong, and the ability to type semi-coherent sentences? Work with me here; if the final goal was a lifetime of documented infamy, let me applaud your success. You created your own casualties to win a contest you should have fought to the ground to lose.

Now, the other part.



To be generous, I'm going to estimate a fourth of you who participated in this prom did it to go along with the others. You felt a twinge of guilt. You actually don't consider this homophobic really. I bet you convinced yourself that if Constance had just done this in a better way, or just laid low, it would have been fine! You're okay with this gay thing! But gosh darn, she didn't, and this will show her! It's only the prom! Drama! Meanie! Not a real lesbian (really, that's--what you want to go with? Can't wait to see you discover the GLBTQ)! And the other kids will like you. You put pictures on the internet to prove it.

You're homophobic. Not many people will like you. And I'm pretty sure if you ever think about it--I'd avoid it if I were you, for as long as you can--you don't like you either.

You think you aren't homophobic, and I kind of hope that becomes true, I hope it's beginning to be true, or as close to true as any straight ally can ever be.

This is your life.

It's going to bother you. You'll feel guilty, you'll apologize, and you'll ask for absolution or forgiveness and doubtless someone somewhere will give you it. You may march in a thousand Pride Parade and vote for gay marriage and watch your kid marry his same-sex life partner and welcome your grandchildren, and live an entire life in pursuit of being something better than you were.

But you'll still remember this: you were tested, and you failed.

You won't get over it. It will never not hurt. You don't do the right thing only when it's easy or convenient or socially sanctioned or in secret. You do it because to do anything else makes you so much less. The people you aligned yourself with will never feel the sting of this; they didn't have this to lose. They weren't ever going to be better than this, and you could have been. You lost what you could have been that day. You will never get that back.

You also, just for starters, since the consequences of your actions could never be just yours: fucked over a classmate, an acquaintance, a friend for her sexuality. You colluded with a system that oppresses those who don't conform to societal expectations of sexual and gender identity and causes them mental anguish you cannot possibly understand, puts them at risk for physical violence and murder, increases the rate of suicide, denies them the basic civil rights to marriage that you can pull off after a three day bender in Vegas, can take their children, restrict their access to adoption, deny them employment, housing, places to worship, and medical treatment and tries with all its might to destroy their lives.

You reminded millions of people that their entire value is based on their sexual and gender identity and are considered worth less.

You can't take any of that back if you spent your life trying.

Have fun with that.

(I need a nap or a drug habit now, thnx.)