seriously, this is so funny. if you work here.

Sometimes I think the biggest problem with my job is that I have a warehouse of truly hilarious jokes that are only funny to about fifty people in the world, or conversely, to those who like to humor me. God I love those people.

Example--yes, I have to lead this one in--I'm testing the functionality of the FS-SNAP driver flow--just go with it--to approve benefits for senior citizen clients on SSI. Which is like, IDK, 55 dollars, I'm not testing the benefit issuance, just making sure the driver flow works. FS-SNAP has like, no requirements. You have to be alive and have SSI and be 55 or over. I mean, the big thing is to turn in your rent amount so you can qualify for the higher (55 dollars?) and not the lower (35?). A month. For food.

...stop laughing. You'd be shocked how many people are just horrified giving these 'elderly' a free ride. This is like, edgy and shit.

Anyway. You know, this isn't going to be funny when I explain, but whatever. When I run a case and approve benefits, it's also, for no particular reason, creating and denying and pending a case for regular Food Stamps, which--fuck, there is no way I can make this funny because it's a joke with the punchline "but they have SSI!"

Trust me, this is the height of sardonic wit over here.

Because if you have SSI, you qualify for FS-SSI if by some weird miracle you fail FS-SNAP (there is no way to fail FS-SNAP. That's like failing, IDK, breathing. You're dead, in other words, or lost your SSI) or if you have a two person household with a low enough income and between the two of you qualification for FS-SSI would give you more benefits okay, I'm stopping now I can actually feel everyone's eyes glazing.

I want you to know, I respect myself less right now that I'm still giggling into my keyboard mumbling "but they have SSI!"

...I'm still laughing. Really. This is hysterical. It's the equivalent of a joke about a priest and a rabbi entering a bar, but with food stamps and age requirements and without alcohol. Really.

BTW, if you have an elderly relative in Texas with SSI, there is no income restriction on SNAP-CAP and please, please check here for a local benefit office. It's like, a one page application to verify their existence, there's no interview or office visit.

If you are not in Texas, this program exists in your state. Contact your local Food Stamp/Welfare office and ask. If you cannot find it, contact me and I'll find it, just give me your state and zip.

Also a reminder, if someone you know is pregnant and in Texas, Medicaid is no longer the only option if they do not qualify. For women who do not qualify for Medicaid or who are undocumented, Chip Perinatal may be of assistance. Please contact your local office. If you can't find your local office, email me with city and zip and I'll direct you to the correct place to apply.

If you are in Texas and would like/need to have screening for breast and cervical cancer, go here to see if you qualify.

If you are in Texas and need assistance with birth control/gynecological services, here and see if you qualify.

Again, if you're in Texas and you're having problems finding where to go to get assistance, please IM me with your zip and I can track down the correct office.

Right. Bad not-joke and a PSA. My work is done here.

Earlier Entries: psa: medicaid, medicare cost share, and various benefits and under this tag: Welfare/Assistance programs.

Comments

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

*pats your shoulder*

Medical humor is the same thing. If I related a lot of the stuff that goes on at work? NOBODY WOULD GET IT, or it might be sort of horrifying. But, us? IN HYSTERICS.

*shrugs*

[elbomac.livejournal.com]

I got you; it's the same in child welfare. People ask "How's work?" And I have a million stories, but end up saying "Fine" because how do you explain this?

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

*nods* Because you either sound insane...or well, more insane.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Pretty much. It's like, context is everything and context sometimes requires two years in the field as a caseworker or something. *g*

[mylittlehottie.livejournal.com]

It's the equivalent of a joke about a priest and a rabbi entering a bar, but with food stamps and age requirements and without alcohol. Really.


ok so i'm not sure why, but yes you've got me laughing! thanks!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*glee*

[bramble-rose.livejournal.com]

Can I turn my mom's care over to you??? Because I've learned more about what she qualifies for from you than all my wasted visits to her local HHS office. And I cannot thank you enough for that!!!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Really? I'm so glad it helped. It's really--complicated--for a lot of people to even know what's available, much less how to access it. I'm glad any information I gave was able to assist!

[triplemare.livejournal.com]

I lol'd, personally.
Maybe it's because I have friend(s) on SSI who ...
yeah, you know what? Explaining that would take pages.

At any rate, "...but they have SSI" IS hysterically funny.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

SSI in itself acts as a fantastic punchline sometimes when dealing with Federal or State level government and entitlement programs. *sighs*

[skatergurljb.livejournal.com]

I get the jokes! lol I was on welfare and all that goverment fun time stuff growing up. It is full of the lulz. But then again, I have weird humor, so...

That's so nice that you're helping people out online. *Presents shiny badge and homemade cookies* Most gvmt (if you are, I mean)workers aren't, uh, so, nice/magnanimous, if they don't have to be. And, uh, don't tend to be when they're supposed to be. Yeah...

THANKS!!!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*g* I work for teh state, yeah, and I have been on benefits and was a caseworker, so I can make jokes on both sides! It's difficult for a lot of people who arent' familiar with the system to know what to do or even if there's help, so I try to remember to post something about it every so often.

[niqaeli (from livejournal.com)]

I don't actually get the joke? But I can tell that it IS hysterical.

I could tell stories about my work but A) that's a terrible idea and B) similarly, there's no way to explain why some of that shit is funny.

(And then there were all the jokes I never made at my old work because no one else there had a dark sense of humour. It was kind of eerie. But that was a spa, not a medical office, which probably explains it.)

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

Aw, you rock. Hope many US-Americans see or learn of this.

*patpat*

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

It's ok. People ask me what I do, and I go "Er--" and then spend five minutes explaining. Possibly I should start saying "I push paper in the finance industry." Possibly I should just get a new job. ;)