that's just how I roll. I write entries with no real theme.

Porn is just bizarre from a Vulcan's pov. I just want to state for this for the record, because I want really low expectations. Okay? Okay. I'm saying, I will really spellcheck this time, and like, check my its/it's, and I want credit for that when anyone gets to like, page thirty, kay? Thank you.

In other news, there is no other news. I mean, winterlive is a filthy, filthy tease with fic (seriously, my inbox is such a porny, porny place) and transtempts is trying to drive me nuts with what appears to be OT3 foreplay that lasts forever, and svmadelyn is sending me links to fic where people use the word orbs for eyes without irony. I'm sorry, no.

Also, apparently, my playlist for Star Trek is dance-pop and techno. I wnat to say I do not associate Kirk with Britney Spears (damn you, butterfly, with your brilliance; when I get stuck, that's the vid I watch to get unstuck when writing), but it's a lie. I am so not kidding. I dragged out The Pussycat Dolls and I don't know what this means, but I know it's not an improvement on my emo-by-way-of-metal-guitar phase.

[And talitha78 for freaking Lady Gaga. I--can't even deal with this. I just pretend I am not me. I am saying, my musical tastes are pretty much "Did a vidder use this song? I like it!" Is that even healthy?]

No.

It's been a while, so I feel it's about time to list off my most recent fic peeves. In no particular order in two fandoms.



Stop using orbs for eyes. How can anyone write that and not think of Tolkien, I do not know.

You cannot use jade three times in a sentence, I do not fucking care how green Spock's cock is.

Lube. Lube. Lube. LUBE. LUBE. I am not asking much here. I am asking that I do not have an unmistakable physiological reaction known as SQUICK where there is twitching and so much mockery.

Weirdly, I am still okay with instant refraction period and marathon sex, but see, here's the thing. No one should be striving for realism, because realism is kind of disgusting, it's not like humans like sex because it is pretty and clean, we like it because it's filthy and its fun, but filthy can be really literal--they need to strive for hotness. Lubeless sex is not hot (there are exceptions, but I will state unequivocally that I will actually friend people on their ability to pull that off and not make me flinch. That's skillz.). Ten times in twelve hours is hot. What I'm saying is, I am really arbitrary in my enforcement of realism. I read astolat's Merlin tentacle fic and really hated myself for loving it as much as I did, alright? So there you go. Arbitrary.

Kirk is not dumb. Let me just state, in case Pike didn't convince you, Starfleet in three years and worked out that Nero was back due to a conversation while listening to two undressed girls talking and semi-conscious in sickbay with a snatch of an announcement. The novelization had him competitive for valedictorian of his class. Broke into Starfleet security to alter Spock's program. Spock's. Program. And heartily pissed off his Vulcanness pulling that shit. Not dumb. The Enterprise is chock full of geniuses. Crazy geniuses below the age of thirty-five who are going to either destroy teh galaxy or just set it on fire.

Smart is hot. Everyone can be smart! It's okay! You don't need a token dumb character to show how smart your favorite character is! Really! We're fangirls! I have at least ten MENSA on my flist and only hate them on alternate Sundays! Smart for everyone! Please. Stop that shit. It's not just irritating, it's cliched as hell. D/s all you like, but keep everyone's IQ intact.

Luckily, I read only by rec and very careful screening (ie, skim and run)--Uhura is not just awesome because she has lines and is a woman. She speaks eighty-three percent of Federation languages. Sit on that one for a bit for those of us who are monolingual with pretensions of understanding and reading a second language under stress. And all three dialects of Romulan. She owns herself, which is actually, oddly, why I like her. I liked her mocking Kirk while he flirted with her (the movie was a high improvement on the book on her character, btw, she shoots men down with style and with a smile; I love her for that).

Also, randomly, and I can't remmber if this was in the book or book and movie, but I was utterly thrilled when Spock gave her the conn. Small thing, but in TOS, I don't remember her being given command of the ship.



Okay, question for Uhura fans and the chain of command, please. This is jsut for my own curiosity for now, though I am using some of this for a fic.



Has anyone worked out the chain of command for the Enterprise yet? For my own purposes, considering her age and seniority, in the current Enterprise, I assumed Uhura was third in seniority after Kirk and Spock, but does it work like that or does the helm outrank communications? While the Captain can give command to anyone (see the novel Doctor's Orders I think for the hilarious results of Kirk making McCoy take it and then vanishing; that was great), I remember in TNG that Deanna outranked Ensign Ro despite being ship's counselor despite command experience, I'm not so sure here. I'm not even sure bridge crew no matter their rank are higher in the chain of command than someone of higher rank but not bridge crew; is it just me or is Starfleet just that confusing sometimes?

If it's not set, I'm just going with that interpretation due to her (probably?) being already graduated and the Starfleet equivalent of a grad student when the movie opens.

Okay, I cannot deal with her being junior to Sulu and Chekov. I just can't. It doesn't make sense. I keep clinging to Spock giving her the conn as proof currently she's third in the chain of command.



And because this came up on my flist.



Recently, several people on my flist were gathering information/recs/links about fic that highlighted POCs in fandoms and pairings. If you're into Trek, I submit Voyager as being the only fandom I know of that every major pairing het and slash involved a POC. The only ones I can think of that weren't and had a following were Paris/Seven and Janeway/Paris for het and Janeway/Seven in slash, and two of those didn't take off until season five. And Paris/Seven was not that popular; I know, it was my tertiary pairing. At one time in the fandom, I think I was responsible for like, half of all existing Paris/Seven stories and one novel. I--really need to find my list of fic. I never did finish a decent Voyager fic rec page.

Weirdly, it was not until the last year when someone mentioned it that I ever noted that of Voyager's major characters, there were only five that were white, and only two of those were bridge crew: Captain Janeway, female; Kes, female, alien, not bridge (season one through four); Seven of Nine, female, Borg, Astrometrics, not bridge (season five through seven); Lieutenant Paris, male; and The Doctor, hologram, doctor, not bridge. Not an ideal spread, but still kind of surprising to me, possibly because when the question went around where people were thinking what POC related stories they'd written, I completely forgot the majority of my Voyager fic was primary Tom/B'Elanna (and fine, one Chakotay/Paris, but that story had him sleeping with everyone. As I am one with cliches sometimes). Which is a reminder of my level of awareness is not exactly all tht great.

Even that mix isn't ideal or representative, but compared to TNG (and to a lesser extent DS9, though DS9 had a much higher proportion of alien, and I wasn't a regular watcher, they could have been much more diverse and I just don't remember; I watched for Sisko and Jadzia, basically) that's not--too terrible. Which isn't exactly a recommendation, but I can say my pairing has some seriously amazing writers, and was also not only my first experience with fandom, but with threesomes (Tuvok/Paris/Torres and Paris/Kim/Torres and Paris/Torres/Seven). I can hunt up recs if anyone is interested.



Finally, for anyone who is interested or who wasn't around circa 2006 when I did this, Trek Meet and Greet. I haven't updated comments since last year, nor is it terribly organized, but it has a pretty interesting cross-section of Trek writers on LJ, comms, etc. If it feels useful or there isn't a better reference out there, I'd be happy to start organizing and updating it again. There are some people I haven't added or removed either by request or because they really, really seemed to not want the connection.

Yes, this is what happens when I've been struggling with Vulcan porn. I can't even look at myself in the mirror right now. Kirk POV--next time, Kirk POV.

ETA: darkrosetiger asks for Tuvok recs here and now I'm kind of interested too. Bring your Tuvok recs!

Comments

[cobweb-diamond.livejournal.com]

I think it's Sulu then Uhura? In the original it went something like Sulu-Scotty-Uhura, or Scotty-Sulu-Uhura.

[drlense.livejournal.com]

I will say that I do wish the movie had done a LITTLE bit more of SHOWING us that Kirk is intelligent and successful at the Academy, because this belief that because he got into fights and was a cocky sonofabitch then therefore he must also be stoopit is really IRRITATING. Just a throwaway line about him competing for valedictorian would have sufficed- because the perception that he's a dumb jock who cheats and doesn't deserve his promotion is bugging me. A lot.

As for the Starfleets chain of command- who the hell knows. I'm pretty sure there may be something to being in the command track vs. not- I remember that in TNG didn't Troi go through a thing where she had to be certified as a bridge officer? But she was able to hit Lt. Commander without it, wasn't she? Perhaps Uhura (not being assigned to the bridge initially) isn't in that command track- who knows.

Paris/Seven. Heh.

[trobadora]

If you're into Trek, I submit Voyager as being the only fandom I know of that every major pairing het and slash involved a POC.

I've been saying that for years! One reason I love Voyager to itty bitty pieces. The only big pairing that didn't involve a POC was the femslash one, and that's saying something. (Although I'd rather have had some more Torres/Seven, myself. *g*)

And hey, even the canon pairing they went with in the finale had a POC - although I don't think anyone actually acknowledges the finale. *g* (I mean, seriously, they Jossed all three major pairings - het (J/C), slash (C/P) and femslash (J/7) - in one fell swoop! *still boggling at that*)

[janne-d.livejournal.com]

Kirk is not dumb.

Thank you. Yes. Kirk has mad skillz, one of which is being smart. And why does anyone seriously think that Spock (if they are writing slash, which most of the ones I have read have been) would be attracted to someone dumb anyway?

[kitsunec4.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say that the awesome meta about Star Trek is awesome. I think that the chain of command thing is giving everyone who knows even a little about the military conniptions about how it works on the Enterprise.

A friend and I were trying to work out the logistics, and kind of gave up. However, for hilarity, please consider this: according to an ex-Navy medical officer, no one wants to mess with medical personnel. Which makes sense, think about it, these are the guys where to patch you up after doing something unequivocally dumb.

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

Lube. Lube. Lube. LUBE. LUBE. I am not asking much here. I am asking that I do not have an unmistakable physiological reaction known as SQUICK where there is twitching and so much mockery.

Please marry me so I give you money directly for saying this. It's not hot. Ever. Wincing while watching Brokeback Mtn was not pleasant.

[betweenthebliss.livejournal.com]

just wanted to drive by and tell you that i love this post-- i love any post where people encourage fic writers to think more, and/or posts that examine the minutiae of worldbuilding and the little things that make fic that much more believable and real. :)

[betweenthebliss.livejournal.com]

also, yeah, kirk = 'circus' now b/c of that vid. goddamn. XD

[snakelights.livejournal.com]

Hi Seperis!

I have a favor to ask for

do you have any recs for fanfiction of Star Trek Reboot? Or even where to find said fanfiction?

I just finsged reading your fic and I am/was amazed by it.

[greywash.livejournal.com]

I remember in TNG that Deanna outranked Ensign Ro despite being ship's counselor despite command experience

Hey check out me skimming back through your reboot tag. For the record, this is explicitly stated in TNG to be because Troi ranked lieutenant commander and Ro was an ensign: i.e., the issue was that with all of the command staff that'd normally be in charge out of the picture, they fell back on rank. I've always thought of it as there being a set of command officers for whom the order is spelled out (kind of like how the first five steps of presidential succession is spelled out in the U.S. constitution and the next bunch by federal law, even though there isn't really anything else that says, like, the Secretary of Agriculture is more important than the Secretary of Commerce), and then beyond that, rank, and presumably beyond that, seniority.

Is Sulu even a cadet, or is he a recent grad? I doubt that every single person on the Enterprise is a cadet, even if a large number of them are. I also know that Pike addresses Sulu as "lieutenant" when he messes up their warp out, not as cadet. A couple scenes later, Pike calls Uhura "cadet". I'm referring to how Pike addresses them because there's obviously the issue of Uhura carrying lieutenant rank as a cadet, but that's two instances where Pike is referring to officers he doesn't know: same speaker, presumably the same criteria for determining how he should address them.

The command structure of the Enterprise is obviously under heavy flux during the movie, but to start off with, I suspect that Sulu outranks Uhura--if nothing else, they have the same rank, and Sulu is command (yellow shirt) while Uhura apparently falls under the category of security and engineering (red shirt).

Um. that's all. <relurk>