seperis | denim is my friend

Did I tell anyone about my last adventure in shopping for jeans?

About twoish months ago, I decided that it was time for a change. Now, I know we've talked about me, body issues, and jeans before. I will just say again--I do not care what television tells you about height, long legs, and the awesome, it is a lie. If your legs are more than half your height you look weird. And you will never, ever find a pair of jeans that are long enough, even when you are buying cropped. It is never, ever less than a vale of tears.

Here is basically what I look for in the perfect pair of jeans.

1.) Fits.
2.) Can fall asleep in when too lazy to make an epic journey to the dryer for pajamas (happens? A lot.)

I'm a simple girl. Who is tall.

After clutching the last of my jeans and realizing that no, they were not going to survive much longer, I girded my loins, picked up my credit card (such a bad idea), and went to Dillards.

Now, here's a fact that's probably self-evident to any woman. It is never a good idea to go shopping knowing what you want. That is pretty much a guarantee it will a.) not be there b.) be there but be the utterly wrong, wrong, wrong style c.) not fit or d.) but will fit if you i.gained five pounds or ii. lost five pounds. Because as we all know, for some reason, the fashion industry really, really believes if they keep telling us we are size 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, our bodies will suddenly realize this and not keep doing stupid shit like our waist is happy at ten but thighs at eight and hips at eighteen. So to speak.

And if you are above five eight, you are always too tall for everything in the store. What the hell?

After two horrifying hours, I clutched two horrible pairs that I knew I would not buy, but by God, I had to try. A middle aged, very short saleswoman glanced up from doing something arcane and magical with the hanger to glance at me.

Now, fact two. The laws of physics were broken that day, because if there is a single great rule of shopping, it is that if you need a salesperson, they will not be there, but if you want them to leave you alone, there will be four hovering over your ass and making sure you aren't fingerprinting the merchandise.

So imagine my shock when she asked, "You looking for jeans?"

And I said yes.

Forty five seconds later, I was in a dressing room with five pair of jeans that fit. Five! Five! While the saleswoman asked my mother "So does price matter to her?"

So here are the two things we have to be grateful for after that terrifying moment:

1.) The words "True Religion" never appeared anywhere near me or wow, would I be set back in credit card payments. Big time. Because I was way too excited to care about that "money" thing. Which you know, probably would have been bad. But I had jeans that fit and frankly, when one is in a jeans-daze, one cannot do simple math. Or remember say, oh, food money.

2.) Well, see one.

However, this weekend, I do another trek into the dark wilds of the mall in search of--yes, jeans. And this time, I'm kinda scared. She knows me. And I know she can find me my grail.

--$350 jeans? Really? Really?

Bwuh?

Last year I shelled out a hundred dollars for a perfect pair of jeans, muttering to myself over and over that they were wonderful and if I wore through the seat, I'd patch them dammit.

$350? The last time I paid that much for clothing, it was for a set of armor.

I think my highest were 85 and 78 respectively. And I *clutched* them.

..seriously at 350, I want a private fitting as well, you konw? And now I want an armored leg too. Hmm.

At a hundred, they came with an free offer to hem them to the exact right length.

I want a private fitting as well

*nods* Like when a guy buys a nice suit - free tailoring.

Suggestion: since you know the exact make, style, size of the jeans you want, do a quickie search for them on eBay. You may just luck out and find a seller who is cleaning out her closet of "those jeans I bought but never lost the 10 lbs. I was supposed to lose to fit into them." I've lucked out majorly this way many times.

Hmm. I've looked casually on Craigslist, but I didn't think of ebay. OOh.

Beware, though -- even if you've tried to exactly that thing before, sometimes the fit isn't quite the same from one instance of that thing to another. Or anyway, I own a nice pair of trousers because the trousers my sister tried on in the store and the pair she bought on eBay were, though formally identical, differently-sized in the butt.

I got a GREAT pair of True Religion Jeans this weekend on sale for 120, I held on to them for dear life until I had that receipt in my hand..TR jeans on sale..it's like GOLD!

...I really *hate* you right now.

GOD. WHERE?

Neiman Marcus.

I can NEVER find jeans that fit!

I'm tall as well and have had the same problem. What I do is I buy Gap or Eddie Bauer online, in their Tall cuts. And I'm 5'10"/size 8-10 and I haven't had a sizing issue yet. Plus, prices not in triple digits? A good.

I've had very good luck with the ebay thing too, as has my mother, who recommends adding "Like New" to your search criteria. (Also, I'm still ~~giggling with delight at~~ deeply moved by your description of your trials.)

the fashion industry really, really believes if they keep telling us we are size 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, our bodies will suddenly realize this and not keep doing stupid shit like our waist is happy at ten but thighs at eight and hips at eighteen.

I know. Dude. My hips are wide, but my waist isn't; this cannot possibly be all that unusual with my chromosome set?

But I had the same experience you had -- went to this big clothes department store, found a fabulous (yes, he was) sales clerk who, I kid you not, took one look at my mother AND me, collected jeans in the vicinity for about three minutes, and ALL OF THEM FIT. ♥ We love him. We will return to him.

These (http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?_dyncharset=ISO-8859-1&_dynSessConf=4972886355200147614&id=823070&parentid=APP_DENIM_TROUSERS&pushId=APP_DENIM_TROUSERS&popId=APP_DENIM&sortProperties=%2BmarketingPriority%2C-saleDate&navCount=3&navAction=poppushpush&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=blu) are an amazing fit for our body type, and really really in style now. I am totally getting some. They're pricey, but they fit so beautifully.

Oy, these ARE lovely -- and I see there is a German site, too! Thank you! & :-P

I love Anthropologie. I've gotten some of my favorite shirts there. A little too pricey for most of the time though.

Hmm. I'm around 5'7, and I tend to go for Levi's 518 long in juniors sizes.

The railer cut is somehow looser than the others. Do not ask why. Just pray to the denim gods.

jcp Levis (http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X5.aspx?DeptID=50455&CatID=51765&cmCatLevel=4&CmCatId=50455|50460|51765&mscssid=67f03d40b7c904a86874bcb793df79715xMnVNoV5aGWxMnVNoV5aGo200B83A364C0688FF05084223FB3E1ACC8C70815419)

They're low cut - but that means they don't have to really fit at the waist, they can slouch around the hips a bit. And a belt is sometimes mandatory.

There's no more love for the short, either.

I'm still trying to figure out how I can be 5'1" and too tall for petite jeans.

Since I started wearing jeans again (two years? three?), my lame solution has been to go the Gap, find jeans I like on the sale rack, then take them to the tailor to get a few inches chopped off. On the plus side, it doesn't matter what length I get since even the ankle ones need to be taken up.

Pretty much, yeah. I'm short (5'3" - technically the high edge of petite) and wide and what is marketed as capris cut off right at the ankle, too low to be fashionably capri, too high to be jeans, but the "petite" jeans are so low rise that they pretty much stop an inch above my thigh. Sigh.

And the designers assume that anyone wearing a size sixteen must be 6'2", so a blouse has bust darts in places that I don't have bumps and sleeves that reach mid thigh.

So I wear skirts and fold up the sleeves of my twin set cardigans a lot.

Weirdly, I'm 5'4" and I have this problem too, petit just breaks at my ankles and for boot cut style that feels weird and wrong and icky. But average tends to drag at my heels and get dirty and gross.

DAMN YOU FASHION INDUSTRY!

See, I'm 5'1" and petite is actually too long for my extraordinarily short legs. My husband jokes that what I really need is a "gnome" size. I can sometimes wear capris as regular pants if I happen to find a long capri, but usually I'm stuck in pants limbo.

I sometimes wonder where these mythical women are who can buy jeans straight off the rack, since nearly all of the women I know have trouble shopping for jeans for various reasons (too short, too tall, too pear-shaped, etc).

My best source for weird-sized jeans is actually local thrift stores. Oddly sized and shaped clothing is disproportionately represented, and I mostly need jeans for things like hiking or working in the garden or hanging out around the house, so they don't have to be brand new. I've found more jeans that fit me in goodwill stores than in department stores.

I thought I was over fighting for sizes until the last two times I needed jeans. Size 8's apparently vary between size-too-small-to-fit-a-thigh-in and size-too-big-to-even-belt-around-my-waist. Ended up with a size 10 for one, but refused to go up to a 12 for the other when my old 8's still fit. Most depressing thing I ever did was try pants on overseas. Did the conversion for the sizes and could not get one pair over my knees, let alone thighs.

Bonus for finding jeans that fit. Double-bonus if there are under $100 each. I miss my days of $25 jeans...

Well fitting PANTS (not just jeans but any kind of pants) are worth their weight in gold. You go, girl.

My family, who are all short, go on and on about how I should be grateful for being tall.

If only they knew what a hassle it is to get jeans or pants that don't end somewhere mid-calf. What really pisses me off is the fact that in the UK, you can get 'long' in sizes up to 18 in most shops. Any bigger round the waist - like me - and you are screwed unless you go in the shop the day the one pair of size 20s in that length went on the rail.

I guess you can tell I haven't purchased jeans (or have gone to a regular clothing store) in almost two decades - I had absolutely no idea what being religious ("True Religion") had to do with denim pants. I kept reading your post trying to figure out what you meant.

Thank goodness for informative comments.

Now I can just try to absorb the sticker shock. My last pair of jeans cost me, I *think*, $25.

As a fellow tall person- I'm 5'11 1/2" and also "plus" sized- I, too, have a heck of a time find clothes long enough.

I have had incredible success with the JC Penny Tall catalog. My mother has been ordering it for me for years and I have gotten some amazing items from it in the past. All of my suits came from that catalog.

Their return policy is great for mail ordering- if it doesn't fit, it's easy to get the item back to them and get a different size. Great jeans, the swimsuit section is amazing, esp if you have a long torso, and the "dress" clothes are great looking and long enough as well.

Oh goodness! which store may I ask? What was the inside leg? At 6ft2 I just don't bother as a rule but I know that it means I sometimes miss some gems..

I do not care what television tells you about height, long legs, and the awesome, it is a lie. If your legs are more than half your height you look weird.
If you're tall and your legs are more than half your height, I'll agree, you do look a little weird. But if you're short and your legs are more than half your height, give up. Give up now, because you will never find pants that fit you well. EVER. If JESUS came to the store with you to shop for jeans or dress pants (dress pants are the worst), he would throw his hands up in despair and go get drunk in the mall fountain.

You should try Joe's Jeans or AG Jeans. Very long silhouette, great fit.

Here via friendsfriends--I've heard good things about these folks: http://www.makeyourownjeans.com/

Though I haven't tried them myself, since I'm on a slow weight loss thing, so I'm not ready to commit to custom anything. But still--I'm 4'11", so yeah, jeans that fit are a miracle, just from the other direction...

Ooooh!!! Thank you for the site! I might have to try them -- cheaper than a lot of jeans I've tried and made to measure! Woot!

Cool! Good luck--getting jeans that fit is hell, I swear!

Aha, you discovered the secret of jeans: rip-roaringly expensive high-end jeans always have a leg way longer than normal humans could need. (And in a lot of cases, not enough butt.) I usually troll the jeans rack at my local high-end used clothing store, and, well, I have a mental block against paying more than $20 for jeans, but that's the joy of a used clothing store.

Actually, if you have any source for second-hand brand-names, I regularly find stuff that is size 6 around the buttal and waistal areas, and then has legs from here to Cleveland. It's hilarious! I have long legs -- maybe not as long as yours, but they're a major feature of my body -- and I am regularly shortening J. Crew, Ralph Lauren, Talbots... I can't imagine paying full price for trousers that are in some cases fully 4 inches too long in the leg, but since I am paying like $25-30 a pair, I'm willing to do a little needlework.

See, I'm great at rationalizing these things. If they're your most flattering, best-fitting pair of jeans, you'll wear them a lot, right? So if you factor in cost-per-wearing, then expensive jeans are actually a good choice. ;)

I get all my jeans from the Alloy catalog online. They're around $40/pair, but the Truck brand always fits me perfectly (their wide-leg jeans are lightweight enough for summer in Austin, and oh-so-awesome) and you can shop by inseam, which makes my life easier since I am pretty short.

Alloy catalog: http://store.alloy.com/content/features/search/jsp/index.jsp?cmpid=21075S31881190&radid=21075S31881190&originalURI=/search2.html

jeans fugue!

Are we talking about jeans that fit as in "they don't fall off and I can breathe while hitting the right place on the heel of my tennies?" or fit as in "traffic stops, people drool at the sight of my sexy rear and I have three offers of uncontrollable animal sex before I get to my car?"

Because I'm 5'10" and go for the 18 longs at JC Penney and they fit the first description. Boot cut and stretch help with the over all decency of the outfit and, on sale, I'm spending less than $25 a pop.

When it comes to jeans, I'm lucky, for certain values of lucky. See, I'm 5'9", but I'm thick waisted; that means I can forget ever finding women's jeans that fit, but men's jeans come in sizes that are actually measurements, not marketing ploys, and actually fit me in both circumference and length. :)

--Jessica

Steve and Barry's has a style which fits me just about perfectly for $10. They wear out faster than some, but - $10. No biggie. Also, my pregnancy jeans are normal jeans with an elastic waistband, and are fantastic comfortable.

--$350 jeans? Really? Really?

Hey, a car payment is for only one month. Knowing that your ass looking suitably fabulous is for a lifetime.

I'm 5'6" and have a hard time finding jeans, because seriously, I'm like 5' of leg and 6" of everything else. Which was really cool when I was 17 and had Marching Band Legs of Hotness.

As a shorter, skinny person, I don't have this problem with jeans, but I do with dress pants. Since I don't quite fit in the women's sizes department, and the juniors department...well, so NOT the look I'm trying to go for. So either the pants are too short, fit perfectly in the legs but not the butt/waist/hips, or fit in neither place. I have a horrible time. So I'm right there with you re finally finding something that fits and then cringing when you see how much it costs. My other favorite is when the same size fits totally differently depending on the store. So, in Store A, I am one size, and then in Store B, when I try the same size, they fall off my hips after I fasten them.

I practically broke down and cried when I inherited a bunch of clothes from a friend who was pruning her closet. Among the goodies were three pairs of jeans that fit better than I could buy in a store. One was an 18 J.Lo, which must mean that I've got quite the booty. Another was a pair from Svoboda, which require a belt to cinch in the waist, but otherwise fit great.

Alas, looking at those online makes me realize just how much she must have paid for them. *shudder* I have a really hard time paying more than $40 for any piece of clothing, let alone jeans.

I am only 5'8" (34 inch inseam, which, not that freakish, world! I'm not even an unlikely circumference for that altitude, so, really, wtf?) and I only own one pair of jeans in this world for these very reasons. I would really not mind brand recommendations - I personally have luck with Ralph Lauren, when I'm willing to pony up what I consider to be four times the reasonable price for pants.

This is so funny, because up until two weeks ago I was in a jeans rage, so sick of my inability to find just ONE pair of jeans that I was literally glaring at other women walking around in their jeans, wondering darkly what it is about my body that makes me such a freak that I couldn't find a single pair that fit.

I'm only 5'3" and pretty thin, but my thighs are what they call muscular and my butt is, you know, there, and those things don't mesh with the fact that my waist is actually very slender. So jeans gap. Gap in the way pants should never gap. Like 3 inches of excess material in the back gap.

But then two weeks ago I found DKNY Noho jeans and they fit almost like they were made just for me and my freakish body, and they were under $50, and I am now very seriously considering ordering multiple pairs of the same darn jeans online, just because, OMG, they FIT. And I have on good authority they make me look skinny. And I think they make me look tall. In the abstract. When I'm not standing around anybody else on whom you an measure my shortness.

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