seperis | it's not even a rant; it's too surreal to be a rant

Okay, this is the stupidest thing to be irritated in the entire universe. I was reading back in my lj, since I am regaining zen if it kills me (and not thinking of SGA vampire romance novels with sexy and creepy blood rituals at all, thanks for asking), and I realized I started all these discussions and then didn't participate!. And the comments are all thinky and awesome yet answering a month later is just weird. And then I answered feedback and then went back and stared bitterly at my past self's total non-commitment to fannish participation.

Now, for something entirely different and not related but deeply hilarious. I have found this pattern. Every so often, I really really need SPN fic. I mean, in that way that I will in fact not only google for it, I will wander through del.icio.us unescorted and totally click on anything that says Sam/Dean because I totally love them beyond reason. Needless to say, yes, of course I cried a lot in horror. And no, I will never be clean again after that one with the stuff and that thing and oh my God what the hell?. But I always finally find three authors and settle down to read everything they wrote and use their recs to get around (God created

esorlehcar for my erratic reading habits, I swear). Then there's always

svmadelyn's rec page, which is my last resort because sometimes I feel we may be engaged in a weird game of competitive reccing. It's hard to explain.

Now here is what always makes me think the universe likes me.

But every time I start--every. damn. time (I am not kidding about this)--a few days later, there is a huge anti-incest or anti-wincest or anti-slash post made by someone, somewhere. It's not like I only notice then--I tend to be a closet drama whore and go looking for reading (ask me what I did five seconds after watching the end fo Torchwood and ten seconds after the start of the new Dr. Who.). I know the universe is not all about me. But I keep thinking it's some kind of reward for good behavior on my part. It's like an incentive to keep reading.

I mean, it's just weird. And always extends my period of reading. A lot.

You know what's irritating? Not even the tone or the words; I get deeply annoyed by the entire concept of what you write == totally like who you are. It's one thing to say your kink is not okay--fine, whatever, then I will totally never use you as beta, cool. There are kinks I am not okay with, generally in the family of "Yeah, no, you will put those spark plugs on me when I am dead, my friend" and not so much in the "Your kink makes me think I should call for your death and shunning." It's the added fillip of, your kink is not okay and evil, you are evil for writing it, contributing toward the destruction of society, and generally this will end with a rain of blood and toads oh Shiva destroyer of worlds. And you kill puppies, bitch.

I'm sorry, but if I had that kind of power? I'd be turning that shit on getting myself a harem of CW males and cloning Joe Flanigan. And get myself some winged unicorns. And bring back some dinosaurs so Child will stop moaning about the lack of them. Shiva destroyer of biological laws and physics, maybe. And time. I would be like Dr. Who, in a way. A very distant way.

And there would never be harmed puppy. Puppies for everyone. Winged unicorns for those who love me and despair. And who send chocolate.

Right. Okay, see, now I feel better. For reference to what the hell I'm talking about, fandom_reports on spn.

It's just--I want something new in ranting. Sure, call out the slash and the incest and the RPS and the non-canon pairings and the pairings and--huh. Does anyone ever call out the gen for evil? Bastards--but do it new and interesting. Do it with pie charts. I want pie charts. I mean, I will still find it ridiculous, but I will also find it neat.

Or vids. I want multimedia expressions of the oppression and pain. I want graphs and charts, studies by earnest was-almost-a-major-in-this-so-I-know, more anecdota than a telenovela, and I want a quote from Shakespeare to be decontextualized to prove it all. Because if you have to do it, and you're going to go for it, you go all the way. It's like writing father/son incestuous mpreg involving wings and alien abduction and not explaining how the anal probing made it all okay. You go there, you go there and don't look back. I'm just saying, it's disappointing when you are reading and realize there was so much trauma missed.

ETA: Annnd

forestgreen is my new favorite person and gave us the Breakdown of EVIL in Fandom in colored pie chart form. My love is like a shallow, yet exceedingly large ocean.

*sends chocolate* Not really these are edible kittens made of chocolate... (that doesn't freak you out right?)
Because I *really* want a wingéd unicorn!

*sighs* I am working on my ability to destroy society via fanfic as quickly as possible. Though I get nervous when the flyers for world domination are sponsored by ACME.

I just wish the wankers had gotten to it with their Mighty Screencap Powers before she locked down the comments. Le sigh. *hand, staple, forehead* Does that make me a bad person? Probably.

(The thing about the pie charts is that in SPN? They disprove the oppression, muhahahahahaha.)

Hahahaha. I was JUST ABOUT TO MENTION THE PIE CHARTS EXISTENCE TOO!

...there are pie charts.

Oh God, my life is complete.

There are seriously pie charts?

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