seperis | apology meme 2007

Hmm. The apology meme--that I have not done in a while. And I am bored. Very. Very. Bored.

So.

How I Have Abused My Characters And Liked It, and Now I'm Almost Sorry

To John:

I could be sorry I mutilated and tortured you for--Jesus, six weeks? Huh--but I'm going to say, that's not the worst. There was also the other time you were mutilated and tortured, but that time it ended really well. Kind of. And what about the time you were sacrificed to an Elder God? Now that was the worst, don't you think?

There was that drugged threesome thing, but that was fun, right? And the girl thing, and that tiny little traumatic goes crazy thing, but speaking practically, you have had the most sex ever of any character I have every written: there was Teyla, Lorne, Rod, Dean (DEAN!), and maybe hinted you had Cameron against the wall a time or two. And there was lots of sex with Rodney. You can't possibly have complaints.

So. Stastically speaking:
1. Number of times killed: 2
2. Number of times tortured: 2
3. Number of times sacrficed to the gods: 2
4. Number of different people laid: 6
5. Number of people you killed: ...a lot, apparently

To Rodney:

Uh.

Well. You were never mutilated, sacrificed, tortured, killed, or otherwise physically harmed. And you'd really think that would be enough, wouldn't you?

So maybe here and here you watched your best friend being tortured and perhaps went a little nuts. And you watched him die here, but to be fair, you were kind of responsible for the destruction of all mankind there, so seriously. You discovered you are solely responsible for destroying his marriage and his heterosexuality here. Er. Almost froze to death here. Um. And here. Heh. Who saw that coming?

Probably wasn't kosher to screw with your Mensa!self, but I had fun and you should have too. Eventually. It ended well, right? Right.

And I'm guessing it wasn't all that much fun to chase John around Atlantis during a psychotic break. But we all have our crosses to bear.

But. You got to torture Zelenka and steal a spaceship, become a god (WITH JOHN! WHEE!), knock up a hot pilot, nail both Teyla and John, and have sex in a men's bathroom. As one does. When one is high. And hey, happy marriage with hot pilot. Made of win, yes?

1. Number of times killed: 0
2. Number of times tortured: 0
3. Number of time watched John being tortured: 2
4. Number of different people laid: 3 (two different variations of John!)
5. Number of people you killed: huh. several. I'm surprised.

To Lorne:

I have no apologies. Except for the break up with John, your year was awesome.

Okay, except getting kidnapped by the Wraith. Yeah. Sorry about that.

To Lex:

...I will seriously fix this someday. Mostly because I'm afraid of

svmadelyn.

To Dean:

...right. Ended your world and tried to bring on an apocalypse, sorta made you watch some human sacrifices, maybe separated you from your brother. But you got laid, and also got to play with C-4. Tell me it wasn't worth it.

To Cthulhu:

Did you really think you would win? Seriously?

Okay, that was much more fun. May add more later as I remember more.

can I love that your biggest apology list is for John? because I do. *grins*

*facepalm* I didn't realize until I wrote it that John = physical torture and Rodney = emotional torture.

....I am so going to hell.

But it just works so well! *grins*

and if you're going, then i'm going for enjoying it.

We'll share a handbasket!

Because John is Stoic.

And Rodney is...not. Oh, my, so very not.

They both suffer beautifully in their own ways!

You could have done more to for Lorne--he seems made for torturing, so vanilla pudding cup sweet he is.

...I'm tempted.

I did cut off his hand! Last year though.

See, and that's what made History of Violence all the richer: knowing that Sheppard held a grudge for ten years over not getting Lorne first, and still slammed his hand off in Crimes. Or vice versa? I am addled by de-caf at the moment.

I'm currently indulging in an orgy of re-reading. Wonderful stuff! If

amireal does this meme, I am so. Very. SCREWED.

*grins* Now that would be interesting.

Shouldn't that be: To Clark?

Because really, who even cares if *Lex* is happy. Lex is just lucky that he could possibly someday make *Clark* happy again. I would be happy if Lex drowned repeatedly in the ocean of the misery he caused.

*raises eyebrow*

Lex's suffering is just as valid.

Oh yes, poor Lex, what with his inability to keep his pants zipped up, or alternately, at least take his floozy to a bed other than the one he shared with his soulmate, the love of his life.

At least he used condoms!

....I think.

I hope he didn't and that she gives him the clap.

And that Clark is off having mind bending, twisty, aerobic sex with every member of the Justice League, and with Lois sometimes deciding she likes threesomes, depending on the color of their spandex.

*sad* Probably Clark got the clap too then.

Poor Clark. Really, hasn't he suffered enough?

Oh no, no. You said they slept together - what, three times? So in between two and three, she slept with...hmm. Daniel, that punk, and got the clap, and gave it to Lex then, and he hasn't had the chance to give it to his poor, miserable husband who is, right this second, researching tantric sex with Lois.

The Secret Service secretly approves.

...Cthulhu always thinks he/she/it will win. Elder god thing, doncha know. ;)

Point. *thoughtful* But still. John Sheppard.

And Dean. And Rodney, of course.

On an unrelated subject, I admit to a certain morbid curiosity about your Christmas Bunny of Vengeance icon: how long did you manage to keep the little guy in that get-up before blood was shed?

There was bitter staring. I think he's slowly and carefully waiting for the right time for my messy, messy death.

[ponders]

And how is that different from any other, non-costume, day?

I remain convinced Waffles is snacking on all your fluffy plot bunnies.

...that's kind of brilliant. I never thought of that.

And it explains so *much*.

*wide eyes*

Best unintentional rec list ever.

*grins*

But - Lorne - but -!!!

You chopped off his hand! (Crimes...)

And Rodney got to kill a lot more than "several" people - I'm not even sure how many he killed to end up on prison!Atlantis. (again, Crimes...)

Has read other comments - was it really over a year ago? How time flies! How time ... smishes into one big pile-up of things without any distinction of when/where they occurred. When you (you generic, in this case actually meaning I) get old, that is.

Anyway, what I'm babbling about here is Lorne's hand. Which I didn't remember had been chopped off over a year ago. And really, he can't complain, you did grow it back again. (Should I not have said that? Is that a spoiler? More, that is, than all the rest of the apology....)

*dies*

Yeah, I limited to 2007. God knows what two or three years worth of fic would have done here. *twitches*

Oh God, if i made this a meme and filled it out... the things I've done to Mulder, Scully, baby William, Lex, and Clark... (well, not Clark so much, but the rest; jeezum!)

talk about going to HELL!!!
*puts this one in reserve*

*nods, wide eyed* I just did this year; I'm not sure I can face the other horrors.

You're a cruel, cruel woman... and I wish more authors will pick up and do this meme! *spent four hours reading and re-reading your fic tonight, instead of sleeping*

Hee! It is deeply, deeply fun.

LOL! svmadelyn, you're my hero for not letting Seperis forget about this excruciating hanging plot-line. Concerning everything you said about Lex... The part of me that is outraged agrees with everything you said about how Lex deserves to drown in an ocean of toture, pain and misery... but the truth is that I STILL love the guy, and I want him to find happiness in the end... AFTER he somehow manages to atone for what he did and find some brillaint, creative way to win Clark's trust again.

I know it's quite tall order, and I don't see how Lex can ever bring Clark to ever trust him again. Clark would be able to forgive Lex, because he's a lovely generous, loving person who is incapable of hanging onto hatred. BUT trusting Lex again! That is a completely separate matter, and I know that Seperis is going to have Lex pull off something really special and spectacular to get Clark to believe that Lex would never, EVER cheat on him again. I can't wait to find out what it is.

Like I mentioned, despite his despicable mistakes (three times over), I still love the stupid man. And I know that Lex will simply not be able to survive Clark leaving him. He will either kill himself on the day Clark walks out, or he'll spend six months poisoning himself by binging on alcohol every night before his liver finally gives out and grants him a slow, painful, humiliating death... OR he'll just have a breakdown and be sent off the Belle Reeve in a straitjacket after he's caught committing a serial killing spree trying to prove to Clark that he'll kill every woman in Metropolis before touching any of them any other way.

heh, I have a sick twisted imagination, and it's been running overtime trying to imagine all the ways that this fic could branch out :P It's a pity that NONE of my imaginings will ever compare to YOUR plans for this fic, Seperis. I look forward to the day you return to this story to close it off. Good luck and Best Regards.

Please fix Lex an Clark. I remember how ruined it is at random moments of my days and nights and it always leaves me breathless and crushed. It's powerful, and probably more real that everything ends in a mess, but I like Lex even when he's a cheating manwhore and I'd really appreciate some kind of anti-rift healing and renewal of the epic clexian love. If that counts for anything.

*pets physically!tortured!John and mentally!tortured!Rodney* You sure put them through a lot of trauma this year. :D

Number of people you killed: huh. several. I'm surprised.
He (and John) also destroyed at least one planet in 'Eighteenish'.

To Lex:

...I will seriously fix this someday. Mostly because I'm afraid of svmadelyn.

Go

svmadelyn, although I agree that it should totally be to Clark. Hmph. Cause seriously, scarred for life here. Which I realize sounds odd considering all the torturing (poor John!) that's going on elsewhere, but I honestly tend to bail out of that kind of thing early. Heh.

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If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
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That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
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In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
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Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
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-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
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-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
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Adding for Mastodon.
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