seperis | amazon, you hurt me

Dear Amazon,

I understand that the weird errors I'm getting at your webpage while trying to find out when my SGA 3 eps will ship are a consequence of the modern era. And I understand that SGA Season 3 with Joe Flanigan Who God Please Turn Out to Be a Cylon Please Then I Can Have One is perhaps not an item that you would think I need more than air.

So be it. However.

Think of my niece.

She's six. I ordered her books. Yes! Books. For her birthday. She is very fragile and speaks only in tongues. Would you deprive a fragile little speak in tongues girl of Velveteen Rabbit? Would you? Do you realize that you could be setting back her moral development and an entire host of nightmares about stuffed animals coming back to life as we speak? And Greek mythology? Peter Rabbit? This cute looking comic called Bone? And some other--book thing of books? (Oh! Goodnight Moon and Runaway Bunny and not sure of third.)

If she turns her back on us all and becomes a banker or a stockbroker or a *shudders* conservative talk show host? A conservative talk show host???? Because she didn't get the moral implications of the Velveteen Rabbit?

On your own head.

jenn

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That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
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AIM, 12/24/2003
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-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
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AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

Not that I don't agree that this horrible of Amazon *does voodoo to speed things up* but I'd like to point out that I never read the Velveteen Rabbit and still didn't become a conservative talk show host, so missing out on that account doesn't necessarily lead to disaster. Then again my older sister read to me trashy vampire hunter horror pulps when I was four, and whenever I asked my older brother for good reading material as a kid he tried to foist things like Nietzsche onto me (which failed spectacularly, I never got past the first page of "Also sprach Zarathustra" when I was eight no matter how much I wanted to impress my brother), so there were plenty of counter influences when I was young and impressionable to prevent such a terrible fate.

SHHHH. Amazon might hear you!

Hee!

Would now be a bad time to mention I *did* grow up on the Velveteen Rabbit and such, am rather hooked on SGA, and work in the banking industry?

If it helps, I get at least one hate mail/call a day and feel really really bad about it (kind of)... But, you know, as a lesbian pagan who's partner works at a co-op, I totally did not become a conservative talk show host.

SGA Season 3 with Joe Flanigan Who God Please Turn Out to Be a Cylon Please

This is just... just...

Are there any BSG/SGA or BSG/SGA rps crossovers? It might be the insomnia speaking but suddenly cylon Joe or Sheppard is the best thing since caffeine.

amazon, you hurt me

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