i resent science a lot today

Child is always an inspiration and a joy forever, but I also have a fairly elaborate system in place to hide from him when he's feeling especially curious and his prepubescent ass can't bother itself with Wikipedia (ie, all the time). This is not because his questions aren't awesome; it's because at the end of the day, physics is fucking up my life.

Most of the time, he's going on about space, which thanks to a lifetime of Star Trek and TOS I can get through with the quick addition of surreptitious googling or reference to Dr. Who and technobabble, which let me say, thank God for.

Today was not space; today he posited a hole that goes from one side of the earth to the other, and you're laughing because come on, that one's easy. Yeah, I did too until he started with how he'd do it and avoid the molten core of the earth (don't ask) while achieving escape velocity once the other side was reached (God I was stupid; I mentioned escape velocity and he didn't even frown in frustration that he missed something). We were okay until I realized this wasn't so much a question as a plan, perhaps more meticulous than I'm comfortable with, and I'm really not entirely copacetic with him wanting to know how big a hole we're talking about that wouldn't lead to the earth growing unstable or flooding the earth with the core through the mantle.

What I'm saying is, he's thirteen and has neither enough theory or like, supplies, to pull this off (or for that matter, a working way to bend if not break some physics in a really geological way), but I have an uneasy feeling I'm seeing the beginnings of a bucket list. I'm usually pretty comfortable with the fact technology hasn't caught up with his ideas of what to do with his life, and when that fails, there's always the immutable existence of say, reality to work with.

But put it this way; this not a black hole and there aren't any warp engines; I just spent way too much time trying to work out how technology or reality can actually stop him and I'm coming up just a little short. I think he sensed this; he went away with a grin and seriously, I'm tired of holes in the backyard.

If anyone tells him the thinnest part of the crust is actually in the ocean and he should start working on his scuba diving and pick up an interest in drills and pressure, I will so cut you. We're only five years away from a time I can no longer punish him with 4chan trauma macros, people. The future is coming, and apparently, it wants to find out if digging your way to China really is a metaphor.

Comments

[kate_nepveu]

Surfing the network--

Would it help to tell him that he wouldn't reach escape velocity on the other side, he'd just go right back?

I happen to know this from a Neil deGrasse Tyson book and actually excerpted this very bit from my review, so: http://www.steelypips.org/weblog/2009/05/tyson_blackhole.php

[seperis]

BOOKMARKS.

Thank you.

You zoom past the center, where the force of gravity is zero, and steadily decelerate until you just reach the other side, at which time you have slowed to zero. But unless a Kerguelian grabs you, you will fall back down the hole and repeat the journey indefinitely. Besides making bungee jumpers jealous, you have executed a genuine orbit, taking about an hour and a half—just like that of the space shuttle.

*falls over* Oh, this is great. *glee* I'm getting him this book.

[beachlass]

Ok.

So we have to make sure that your son and my son don't meet up. Together they might be unstoppable.

[mis-mariposas.livejournal.com]

Random lurker just dropping by to ask how he's planning to reach escape velocity because he's going to need some force besides gravity.

Just dropping something through the center of the Earth will cause it to sling shot back and forth like a pendulum. It'll never actually leave the Earth since gravity is mass dependent.

[mis-mariposas.livejournal.com]

Whoops, just noticed someone else already mentioned this from a much more entertaining source than Newtonian physics.

[nagasvoice]

Current tech's drills simply can't cope with the heat and distance. The tech for dilling deep isn't all that great. Have you put him onto info about the Moho project?

[dreamatdrew]

Well, if he had a booster going the entire "fall" through, he could possibly get escape velocity rather cheaply. The problem is that ya cant get that kinda hole to fall through...

[dreamatdrew]

plz dont kill me

[zee]

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love your kid posts. Seriously. The love is big. That's one lucky evil genius, to have a mom like you.

[jadey]

And now I wonder if you have ever read this book, because right now your life sounds startlingly like an excerpt from it!

[shaenie]

I think your son and my son should be kept as far apart as possible to avoid the possibility of co-galactic-overlordship.

[scy]

*pats your shoulder* Perhaps he is going to use these projects as a means of deciding a career path? Then at least it will be somebody else's problem if he is digging in the wrong place?

In the meantime, do not take him to try out heavy equipment...ever...and I am trying to think of ways to deter him from digging up your backyard- I have visions of large pits with THINGS at the bottom..or just one of you falling in...

Fortunately when I tunneled I was only allowed to do it in mud or sand - we have trees that my father would not let me disturb - or the grass - that would have led to yelling.

Hmm.

[supermouse]

To get to the centre of the earth, he has to remove material - make him work out how much material he has to move, and then how much energy moving all of that material will take.

Either he'll disappear forever into a world of mathematics, and be rendered more or less harmless, or get bored and give up.

[mecurtin]

You may want to point him to this set of fun distracting links. Contents include activities for doing Real Science to help Real Scientists! also many cool pictures.

[cereta]

...

...

Will he at least use his powers for good?

[yoiyami.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether I would laugh or cry in that situation.

Then again, there are age and monetary restrictions when dealing with scuba diving and deep sea digging, so maybe it would stave off the inevitable until it gets to the point where you can let someone else deal with it?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty much clinging to both with both hands at this point. The legality of locking him in the closet is under question, but I"m looking into it.

[ellixis.livejournal.com]

I can only hope that Little Small will turn out as intelligent and amazing as Child. Even if she does eventually give me lingering feelings of unease about the future of the world.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Might as well start workign on your addiction to coffee now. *hands over cup* You'll need it.

[averzierlia.livejournal.com]

THE MARIANA TRENCH, CHILD, THE MARIANA TRENCH. START THERE.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

LIES!

[writinginct.livejournal.com]

lol so I take it "The Core" is not and will not be on your Netflix queue? ::ducks::

[averzierlia.livejournal.com]

It's ok, I think my comment was worse.

[trobadora]

today he posited a hole that goes from one side of the earth to the other

You know, I once read a SF story in which such a thing exists. Clearly that means he's on the right track to the future! :D

[jarlsberg71.livejournal.com]

Uhm, for all that is hotness, Watch Mortal Kombat II Annihilation. They actually travel the earth in metal cages that fly through earthen chords. Like little hamster balls on a subway track. Powered by Wind/Gravity. Yeah, Whatever. Just give me some Rayden (loved him on Sex and the City too)

(curse you interwebs for not having a bigger picture of his package)

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

a) Your son is awesome.

b) Your stories about said son are awesome.

c) It's nice to know we are not the only parents going through things like this. It's always frightening to hear Eldest tell Youngest things like, "Be practical here - just how much explosives are we talking about and where would you even get them?"

[burningchaos.livejournal.com]

I have heard conversation c in my house before.

[burningchaos.livejournal.com]

My 12 year old son has a notebook with a ever-evolving plan for world domination that starts with his military career. He has drawings, political thoughts - it is kinda scary tbh. He has been working on these plans since he was 5.

[thearchpoet.livejournal.com]

Has he read Ender's Game and has he ever asked for a sister?

[sidara.livejournal.com]

When the world ends, I want to be on your side.

[giogio.livejournal.com]

Hm. Has he watched Lost in Space (the movie) recently?

[renshai.livejournal.com]

According to my Geo teacher, it wouldn't work particularly well because the mantle is semi-liquid and in constant motion - it's convection currents in the mantle that cause plate tectonics.

On the other hand, if you're not worried about the molten iron at the core, or the high gravity, or the prospect of accidentally splitting the earth in two, then I don't think 300km of viscous, mobile rock will slow you much either.

(Besides, if you drill into the lower lithosphere, you'll wake the Silurians, and that's not supposed to happen for another thousand years.)

[lurkerlynne.livejournal.com]

(worse yet, that will get the Doctor involved)

[innocentsmith.livejournal.com]

A lot of fandom people seem to be raising young Evil Overlords. I fear the day they all band together.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

On the plus side, at least we've raised them to love their mothers, right? So we (and our friends) should be in the clear.

[idylll.livejournal.com]

Huh, I think I remember doing a physics problem once, that showed that if you ignore the core, and you drill a hole straight through from one end to the other, due to gravity and momentum and what not, you'll keep oscillating back and forth the stretch.

[lurkerlynne.livejournal.com]

Any chance of getting Child to focus the hole plan on the moon instead? No pesky core, lighter gravity, won't matter much if you split the planetoids as long as you don't disturb the orbit.

Commute'll be a bitch, though.