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Tuesday, July 8th, 2003 10:04 pm
stupid people should be forbidden breathing privileges....
...except when the anti-stupid people revolution (ASPR TM) comes, there's a good chance I'll be first against the wall.
Case in point:
It's eight, an indecent hour. There's no coffee yet. And it was boring. Apparently, I must have wished I wasn't bored.
Client, thunderous: Okay, why was my case denied?
jenn, sleepy: Hmm?
Client, exlamatory: My case was denied!
(couldn't be 'cause of that winning personality)
Client, bullying: I want to know why!
jenn, headachey and without coffee: Can I have your social security number?
Client, annoying: I don't know it.
(jenn waits for client to give name. client waits for jenn to perform magic that lets you find a case without a name. imagine that.)
jenn, kind of amused: Your name, ma'am?
Client, offended: Blah Blahity.
(jenn goes to look it up. case is not denied)
jenn: Your case is fine.
Client, offended: It's denied.
(jenn looks at computer, then client, trying to decide which is more trustworthy. Computer once got jealous of another computer and sabotaged it, but the woman is wearing pink lycra. Must think.)
jenn, careful: Ma'am, how do you know your case is denied?
Client, huffy: I called the one-eight-hundred number!
jenn, relieved: Oh, okay. That's hooked up to the old system. Don't worry, it's there and it's fine. Your case isn't denied.
*Chorus*
Client, shocked: You don't understand. My case is denied.
jenn, wondering about possible deafness: Ma'am, that number isn't working.
Client, getting bitchy: Let me explain what happened. I called the number and it said my case was denied.
jenn, wondering about possible psychosis: Yes, ma'am. A lot of people are having that problem. It's okay, your case is fine.
Client: You don't understand. It said--
jenn, wondering about possible drug use: Ma'am, I understand, but the number *does not work*.
Client: I'd like to talk to a supervisor.
Start at chorus for conversation with supervisor.
My day sort of went downhill from there. At least I have the anecdotes. Which really, do make it all worthwhile.
New computer web software at work is sentient and trying to drive us crazy. Don't tell me it isn't--I KNOW it is. I errored out on totally non-errored things today. Finally got desperate and considered taking classes in web programming to fix it myself, since tech support is being about as useful as a dishrag.
Case Two:
Calling helpdesk.
jenn: My computer is erroring out on //thing//
help desk: It shouldn't do that.
jenn: I didn't think so either. I need to report this as a problem.
help desk: Are you sure it's doing that?
(jenn mulls trustworthiness again. Evil computer or annoying phone person? stares at screen)
jenn: Yes, I'm looking at it.
help desk: What does the error say?
jenn, trying for humor: You ever drop a scrabble game on the ground and looked at all the letters turned up randomly?
help desk, unimpressed: I need a error code.
jenn, looking: One hundred.
help desk: Are you sure you didn't do something?
jenn, wondering what she could have done to destroy a program: I hit 'next'.
help desk: Anything else?
jenn: Cursed its parentage?
help desk, still unamused: I haven't seen this reported before.
jenn: I once couldn't kill someone off a case. *see entry about stupid non-dying kid*
help desk, unimpressed: I'll need to report this. Cna you send me a copy of the screen?
jenn: sure.
Then there was Employee Guy, though this is dated from Monday morning, when I still felt alive. We had a chat about what we did during the fourth of July.
jenn: I slept.
Coworker, smirking: I'm sure you did more than that.
jenn: No really. I caught up on sleep, did some web design, other stuff.
Coworker, superior look: Web design?
jenn, feeling more pathetic by the second: Just working on something for a friend.
Coworker: Uh huh.
jenn: It's fun.
Coworker, looking a little more superior: What do you design?
jenn: Pornographic websites. BDSM.
Coworker, blank: BDSM?
jenn: Bondage, domination, submission, etc. Would you like a link?
jenn wanders off.
Let's start a countdown until THAT bites me in the ass, shall we?
Mental note: No snark before coffee. No snark before coffee. No snark before coffee.
At some point in the future, I'm going to learn how to SHUT OFF the stupid part of my brain.
Case in point:
It's eight, an indecent hour. There's no coffee yet. And it was boring. Apparently, I must have wished I wasn't bored.
Client, thunderous: Okay, why was my case denied?
jenn, sleepy: Hmm?
Client, exlamatory: My case was denied!
(couldn't be 'cause of that winning personality)
Client, bullying: I want to know why!
jenn, headachey and without coffee: Can I have your social security number?
Client, annoying: I don't know it.
(jenn waits for client to give name. client waits for jenn to perform magic that lets you find a case without a name. imagine that.)
jenn, kind of amused: Your name, ma'am?
Client, offended: Blah Blahity.
(jenn goes to look it up. case is not denied)
jenn: Your case is fine.
Client, offended: It's denied.
(jenn looks at computer, then client, trying to decide which is more trustworthy. Computer once got jealous of another computer and sabotaged it, but the woman is wearing pink lycra. Must think.)
jenn, careful: Ma'am, how do you know your case is denied?
Client, huffy: I called the one-eight-hundred number!
jenn, relieved: Oh, okay. That's hooked up to the old system. Don't worry, it's there and it's fine. Your case isn't denied.
*Chorus*
Client, shocked: You don't understand. My case is denied.
jenn, wondering about possible deafness: Ma'am, that number isn't working.
Client, getting bitchy: Let me explain what happened. I called the number and it said my case was denied.
jenn, wondering about possible psychosis: Yes, ma'am. A lot of people are having that problem. It's okay, your case is fine.
Client: You don't understand. It said--
jenn, wondering about possible drug use: Ma'am, I understand, but the number *does not work*.
Client: I'd like to talk to a supervisor.
Start at chorus for conversation with supervisor.
My day sort of went downhill from there. At least I have the anecdotes. Which really, do make it all worthwhile.
New computer web software at work is sentient and trying to drive us crazy. Don't tell me it isn't--I KNOW it is. I errored out on totally non-errored things today. Finally got desperate and considered taking classes in web programming to fix it myself, since tech support is being about as useful as a dishrag.
Case Two:
Calling helpdesk.
jenn: My computer is erroring out on //thing//
help desk: It shouldn't do that.
jenn: I didn't think so either. I need to report this as a problem.
help desk: Are you sure it's doing that?
(jenn mulls trustworthiness again. Evil computer or annoying phone person? stares at screen)
jenn: Yes, I'm looking at it.
help desk: What does the error say?
jenn, trying for humor: You ever drop a scrabble game on the ground and looked at all the letters turned up randomly?
help desk, unimpressed: I need a error code.
jenn, looking: One hundred.
help desk: Are you sure you didn't do something?
jenn, wondering what she could have done to destroy a program: I hit 'next'.
help desk: Anything else?
jenn: Cursed its parentage?
help desk, still unamused: I haven't seen this reported before.
jenn: I once couldn't kill someone off a case. *see entry about stupid non-dying kid*
help desk, unimpressed: I'll need to report this. Cna you send me a copy of the screen?
jenn: sure.
Then there was Employee Guy, though this is dated from Monday morning, when I still felt alive. We had a chat about what we did during the fourth of July.
jenn: I slept.
Coworker, smirking: I'm sure you did more than that.
jenn: No really. I caught up on sleep, did some web design, other stuff.
Coworker, superior look: Web design?
jenn, feeling more pathetic by the second: Just working on something for a friend.
Coworker: Uh huh.
jenn: It's fun.
Coworker, looking a little more superior: What do you design?
jenn: Pornographic websites. BDSM.
Coworker, blank: BDSM?
jenn: Bondage, domination, submission, etc. Would you like a link?
jenn wanders off.
Let's start a countdown until THAT bites me in the ass, shall we?
Mental note: No snark before coffee. No snark before coffee. No snark before coffee.
At some point in the future, I'm going to learn how to SHUT OFF the stupid part of my brain.
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From:Oh, my God! Jenn, that is so bad - too funny for words! I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that.
How fast do you think that will spread around the office?
LOL, repeatedly.
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From:Well, my midlevel manager basically told me that he's pretty sure I'd be happier working anywhere else today.
*shrug*
You can always tell them it's a nonprofit website... charitable volunteerism and all that.
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From:*mulls*
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From:O:-)
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From:Aw, it sucks that it was a bad day, Jenn. On the good side, your anecdotes manage to amuse us all! *bg*
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From:Hee! :-p
I just applied to an art school and they asked for a list of extracurricular activities so I listed down my websites. Hee, you gotta love
And good luck at work. Here’s hoping that you have some better days ahead.
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From:Yesterday they changed my log-in name. Without letting me know. There was whole: why is my password suddenly not working? scuffle.
Yes, it was not working, because someone changed my log-in.
Do you think tech guys hate me? *Ponders*
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From:Mental note: No snark before coffee. No snark before coffee. No snark before coffee.
Aah, no worries. Sounds like he was kind of being a jerk anyway, and if it comes back up you can point out that details of what you do on your own time are your own business and anyone who tries to pry is lucky if all you do is get snarky or sarcastic on them. (And if you ever find yourself discussing this with management, I would advise claiming you were being sarcastic.)
Then again, if it were me in a conversation like that -- and especially one where the guy was apparently being rather patronizing -- I would have been likely to follow up that bit about sleeping by making some remark along the lines of, "Well, and surfing for gay porn." Just to watch his face freeze.
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From:Glad to read you see the humor in so many things and share it with us. Where's your flirty interpreter latin men when you need them?
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