svreview: fever, s2e16

Expect snark. I am oh so not fond of this episode. If you want accuracy, gonna have to wait for someone else. I'm just--eh. *sighs*

I shall call this The Deus Ex Machina Episode. I have never seen so many contrivances stuck into forty-five minutes of active television watching in my life. Seriously, I'm impressed as hell. That takes a sheer and amazing lack of talent to pull off.



Martha looks furtive. Very furtive. Clutching a Suspicious Flour Bin to her chest. For those who keep up with continuity (and I do feel sorry for those of you who do, because, damn, you must spend a lot of time with high blood pressure), this is where she hid the ship key during the end of Insurgence. She goes into the cellar in broad daylight. The Ship is there. The Magic Tarp of Concealment isn't on it, so I'm worried. For some reason, she leaves the doors wide open.

I know, but this STILL annoys me. Anyway.

Clark comes in suddenly, calling for his Mommy for no apparent reason. Clark is blissfully unaware of her furtiveness and guilt, no huge surprise. As we watch, he overlooks her twitching as Martha asks why Clark and his dad aren't somewhere else. I can't remember where, possibly because I was still amazed the Magic Tarp of Concealment is off the ship. Martha makes noise regarding food to get, Clark wanders off, still oblivious.

Martha sees cans of lead-based paint and buries the key there, along with the flour. I still don't get why the flour had to go too. What did it ever do to her? As we watch, Magic Green particles enter her body as she breathes, and I think we got a view of her throat there. Why thank you for that. She doesn't look that great.

Back inside, we see Jonathan doing manly things. Fixing the kitchen sink. Yes, high entertainment here. *sighs* Clark and Jonathan banter badly. Martha, now clutching a jar of peaches to her chest and still looking furtive, goes to feed them lemonade. Both men are oblivious to her suspicious furtive guiltness. She drops the pitcher and collapses. Clark, amazingly, is NOT oblivious to his mom at this point (I'm shocked) and catches her before a phallic shaped glass can impale her. We get this in slow motion, extending the entire concept far past what is actually interesting. Panicky, he says she's not breathing. He and Jonathan talk to her since, as we all are aware, telling people who can't breathe to breathe works miracles. CPR? Who needs CPR?????

Hmm. I'm really not fond of this episode. But keep that 'miracles' theme in mind. It's coming up again. Boringly.

Dr Helen tells John and Clark that Martha is ill. Really? Never would have guessed. Clark is slightly less oblivious but kind of looks sleepy. Jonathan says, go forth and do deliveries, for it is what your mother would want. Clark rebels, yadda yadda yadda, he goes. Now the cool part. Helen tells Jonathan that Martha is pregnant.

For continuity buffs, we got our first clue back in Ryan. In a while, I'm going to do some magic math. But not now.

Lex, cute and smooth in a suit, is at the hospital, where he lives whenever anyone named Kent is in residence. At this time, he is eating with Helen, and he spies a letter from John Hopkins. Oh, they want her there for Pure Research. I like to call this Foreshadowing, because then she says her first love is pure research. Foreshadowing! Right here! While the audience says "Go Helen!", for some reason, she seems to be unsure. Lex looks slightly perturbed, but doesn't want to stand in her way. We don't want him to, either. Let her go and fulfill her destiny, Lex!

Okay, that's just me. Dammit.

Three people in Police Officer Blue Coats appear. Apparently, these are doctors. Seriously fooled me. They are, we discover, from CDC, because unknown toxin in Martha requires them to be called in.

Jonathan tells Clark that Martha is pregnant. He's stunned. Again, oblivious, but I can't blame him. The CDC asks about places Martha could have picked up toxins. Jonathan and Clark says she hasn't left the farm since the weekend. So Martha definitely does not work for Lionel now? Wouldn't it have been nice to have been told this directly at some point? Lo! Jonathan cries, but quietly, as CDC members leave. The ship! It must be hidden! The Magic Tarp of Concealment isn't on the ship! They will see it! Okay, he didn't say that, he said move the ship, but I point out, the tarp wasn't on the ship.

I'm kind of saddened I find the tarp issue more interesting than anything else happening here.

Clark dashes home at top speed to get to the ship. Whilst covering it with the Magic Tarp (smart boy!) he breathes in the Magic Green Dust, and of course, we can all guess where this is going, can't we? He and Pete are then on the road, taking the ship to Pete's cellar, where it will be properly hidden. Possibly with the Tarp. Clark starts blacking out, running off the road. Pete gets a wound, and afterward? We get to see the wound is there. Right on his eyebrow! Yes! That is so new.

Clark is amazed to find his powers won't work as he tries to push the truck. Let us all take a moment and remember Leech, yet this is less interesting somehow. As they watch, a convey of CDC and police with pretty lights approach. Pete, desperate, says they must get the truck back on the road. Do they think they can get it on the road and run or something? The people can SEE them! Okay, anyway. Somehow, they manage, and then they watch in silence as the convey passes.

Yes, this made all kinds of sense.

Clark comes back home to find the CDC around farm, and man, this is fun. They look spooky. All in gear carrying plastic bags looking dark. The Main Doctor Guy asks if Martha's been in the cellar after a report comes in about Unusual Dirt down there. Jonathan, who is being just strange, says no. Clark says yes. I'm not sure if Jonathan forgot or is deliberately hiding it. They dig and find flour and key. Presenting both to Jonathan, Jonathan says he's never seen it before. Clark tells Jonathan he thinks he was exposed.

John talks to Martha. She says she worried about telling him about baby. She also says the Magic Ship made her able to get pregnant.

Lana talks to Clark while Clark reminisces and looks cute. Suddenly, Clark collapses. Lana yells Clark's names several times as he falls down the stairs.

Helen comes by. Jonathan sends Lana away. Jonathan begins being weird and mysterious. Helen ignores him, which makes me smile a lot. I do that too! They show us a close up of the needle she's going to use to draw blood. Jonathan says you can't draw blood from Clark. That he isn't a normal boy. Helen asks if it's a religious thing, but she's tuning him out. I really like her right now. To the shock of all (though I kind of thought this might be coming) the needle goes straight in. Jonathan acts so shocked that I want to slap him silly. SECRETS JONATHAN! REMEMBER NIXON?

Dear God, how have they survived this long again?

Jonathan looks desperate and with far too much significance, tells her to do the blood test herself. I assume Helen agreed. She likes Pure Research.

Anvil of foreshadowing, right here.

Doctor studies blood, amazed by something. I'd like to know what. Lex comes by--as stated before, when Kents are in residence, so is he. Convenient that he got a girlfriend there, isn't it? I'm seeing the attraction. She hides stuff about Clark from Lex. I wonder why? Lex asks about Martha, and Helen says it's confidential, blah blah blah. Lex mentions John Hopkins again. Lex, let her fulfill her destiny. I don't like that gleam in her eye while looking at Clark's blood samples.

Chloe comes by in pretty red car. Is that a Volkswagen bug? I have no idea, I just think it's pretty. Serious cleavage going on here. Serious. Wow, go Chloe. It's wasted, as Clark is unconscious. Sitting down, Chloe chats uncomfortably, then pulls out a pretty piece of pink paper. Chloe breaks my heart in a variety of ways while she tells Clark how she feels. She stares down at him, caressing his forehead, while I get misty-eyed. Clark looks like he's coming conscious and she begins to smile, but the dummy says Lana.

This boy is the most oblivious boy on the PLANET. Dear God.

Jonathan, looking very very manly, pulls on his coat with manly movements while walking out of the house. Clark, adorable and wrapped in a blanket (I want to cuddle him) runs out, asking where Jonathan is going. Jonathan says Helen says Martha isn't going to survive the night. Clark might die too, apparently, though that's only implied. After hearing Martha's muttering on the magic ship, he wants a miracle too, dammit. So he shall go get the key! Clark cries out, let me help! Because that would be practical. Can't have that. But in the tradition of Bruce Willis, Steven Segall, and far too many man-movies that seriously, when she gets back, Martha better cut off his supply, Jonathan goes off to be manly alone.

Flash to an army-like compound with people in uniform. A soldier-type person goes by. Way down at the bottom of the chain length fence that has no electrical current or barbed wire (why?), we see Jonathan's fingers holding the fence together. He is cutting through! Manly! Just like Bruce Willis! Without the bombs. Or the torn shirt, thank you God. They need to work on security at CDC, seriously. Jonathan gets right in and he is very manly. Very. Also, how does he know where to go? Are there signs?

After minimal shuffling, Jonathan finds the flour bin, then the key. But wait! Drama! Jonathan is caught! No, Clark knocks security guy out! I'm not at all worried about cameras in this place, are you? Clark looks like shit, yet incredibly hot. Jonathan and Clark start to run. No! Alarm! You're kidding. Clark and Jonathan run. Cleverly, Jonathan and Clark take the truck WITH the ship parked outside and make a run for it. Car chase! YES! BRUCE WILLIS' SPIRIT IS AMONG US!

Dramatic cut. Martha opens her eyes, gasps, and instantly flatlines.

Cut. Dramatic car chase in progress. Helicopters are involved. Lots of lights. I'm feeling this odd sense of how this would go if they were chasing Clark the Alien. Seriously, this is cool.

Cut. Helen comes in to check Martha. Flatline still. Helen looks perturbed. Code Blue, she says. I have watched ER. I think this is where they start cutting people open.

Commercial to break the tension.

The car chase continues. This is so cool. Behind them, helicopter and army people and lights, lights lights! Drama! I'm a slut for car chases. Then before them, a blockade! Police and people with guns. I'm in shock. The truck skids to a stop and I contemplate the idea that this is a dream sequence.

They guns are trained on the vehicle. The door opens. Oh my God. It's Pete with nothing under the Magic Tarp!

Cut to hospital. Again. Martha being given elector shock.

In another truck Jonathan and Clark bring the ship to the hospital. The old switcharoo! That was cool. And that plan was Clark's, I think, since he isn't seeped in the Bruce Willis tradition and likes having help, and I'm impressed. Go Clark! Clark is looking not so good, but still hot. The Magic Tarp is removed from the ship. Jonathan puts the key in the ship. In the middle of the parking lot. In full view of the windows. Where anyone can see. The ship glows and rises into the air. Maybe just the proximity of the Magic Tarp keeps people from seeing the ship.

Martha is pronounced dead by Helen. No one really believes it. We just saw the ship.

The glow of the ship washes Magical Light through the hospital. The blind see, lambs frolic, lame walk, dead arise. Okay, no, we don't see that, but why not exactly? Martha returns from the grave. Helen looks pleased. Yet I do not hear more people screaming of miracles and this is just annoying.

Clark's better. Ship magically goes back down into truck once it's done what it's supposed to do. Do I really need to throw a fit about this one?

No one goes outside. No one looks out the window. Okay, this is just killing me.

Cut to later. Helen shows an ultrasound of the baby. She says it's fine. She gives Kent family looks and says it's a miracle. Also wants to know what's in Clark's blood. Jonathan makes miracle noises, apparently thinking that Helen is a fucking moron. Helen looks skeptical. I really do like her.

Outside, two cars pull up beside each other. Huh. A mousy, nervous man hands over a file to Lex. It's Martha Kent's. Okay, did this make sense? It doesn't. It really, really doesn't. She's a friend, he says, and drives off. This still makes no sense. I mean, seriously.

Back to Helen's office. Lex says he talked to Clark (you're kidding. No, of course we didn't need to see that on-screen.) He says that Clark told him that Martha is fine. Helen nods. Lex mentions John Hopkins again, then gives her a box. I don't like where this is going. Helen asks lightly if this is a going away present. I don't trust that smile, Helen. But it's a very large key. Lex asks Helen to move in with him. Helen looks overcome and they kiss. Kind of boring. Helen thinks. Hmm. Pure research. Clark. Blood. Strange disease. I can't prove it, but the anvils are there.

Lana and Chloe talk. Lana says she couldn’t visit Clark when he was sick. Chloe and Lana agree about realizing the importance of people when they are close to death. Because neither of them have had any near-death or death-related experiences in the last year. Right. Chloe makes a snarky comment and Lana looks confused, Chloe very sad. Chloe goes home. Lana picks up some trash and finds the pink note Chloe wrote to Clark. Reads it, because the plot requires it. Looks sad. Everyone's sad here. This is depressing.

Flash to fundraiser, where there is music. I'm bored. Pete is DJ. Clark shows up and Pete is pleased to see him and gives him a CD. Oh look, product placement for the Talon mix soundtrack! Dear God, they could not be more obvious if they tried. I actually spit out soda as they lingered on the CD clutched in Clark's hand. That was so funny!

Chloe and Clark talk, Lana and Clark talk. Insert semi-angsty, oblivious, weird conversation from almost any episode here.

Yes, that really is it. Not one onscreen Clex scene, unless you count Lex spending an inordinate amount of time around the hospital. Seriously.

Now, things to ponder.

Magic Math; Martha got healed during Tempest/Vortex, in Mayish. She was pregnant enough to know it by Ryan, which was I think set Octoberish/Novemberish at best guess. Now, she had no reason to think she could get pregnant, so I'm guessing it didn't even occur to her until she missed a period or two. Probably two, because again, this is after about twenty years of knowing she's infertile, it is NOT going to be the first thing to pop into her head. That would mean she was eight weeks or so by Ryan, and that's if I'm being very strict with time tables here. That would make her, at this time, five and a half to six months pregnant, at minimum. Assuming she did not get pregnant until August/September or so, pre- or just post-Heat. *grins* I theorize that the make-up sex after the Desiree incident lead to this, but hey, I'm kind of vulgar like that.

Jonathan and Clark, who live with her, do not notice either weight gain or anything else. *shakes head* Oblivious, oblivious, oblivious. And how long was she going to hide it? Until the baby arrived? And for that matter, HOW was she hiding it now?

I knew this was coming, but it still annoys me a LOT.

Helen: bets on her researching Clark are being taken now.

Also? Helen and the baby aren't making it to season three, unless I'm really really mistaken. Which I'm kind of hoping I could be.

There were so many plot contrivances that I stopped counting. This is not alien technology, this is a Magic Ship, given to us by Fairies or something. Wouldn't that explain a lot? It reads minds, does things on cue like rise and heal then fall, you know, even though in Vortex, it just went after Clark, it heals the sick, but only those specifically sick that it wants to and avoids those that aren't. It also somehow is responsible for the Magic Toxic Dust.'

I have a headache. Gah.

Visage is starting to look better. No, seriously. At least then, we got bizarre behavior.



I think I shall obsess myself with Lucas icons now.

Comments

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

I adore your recaps. They make me extremely happy, even when the ep does not.

Jonathan and Clark, who live with her, do not notice either weight gain or anything else. *shakes head* Oblivious, oblivious, oblivious. And how long was she going to hide it? Until the baby arrived? And for that matter, HOW was she hiding it now?

All of this timing speculation assumes the baby is human. *mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!* If the baby were human, the pregnancy would be late 2nd trimester by now, only concealable by a mother who's quite overweight. Not to mention the kicking, etc. No, I'm hoping for a Kryptonian baby (in whole or part -- maybe Martha is just the surrogate).

Also? Helen and the baby aren't making it to season three, unless I'm really really mistaken.

The only way for Helen not to be pushing up daisies by the end of the first ep of S3 is if she's so Eeevil she goes off to work for Lionel.

I'm betting the baby is Supergirl. Gag me with an aardvark. But! Then we can all kinds of Evil!Kryptonian fics, where Supergirl is supposed to be Kal-El's mate to propagate the species! Oh, the angst!

I want Chloe to become a kick-ass Supervillain when she grows up.

I second the supergirl theory!

[cjandre.livejournal.com]

yes yes yes

I see two options: The baby is supergirl - in which case I am betting she grows extra fast or something so that they can move quickly form newborn to toddler on the show.

OR

Baby be lost in some way that creates maximum amount of guilt and pain for Clark and/or Lex.

And I have to say although I agree with every single unbelievable thing Jenn pointed out, I still sorta like the ep. Eps like this just scream for fic-fixes, and in a good way - because there is so much that they left out that fics will have plenty of room to slip in to the cracks and fill them in.

I see something where Lex really already KNOWS about Clark, and now feels he can't let Helen out of his sight because she might know something. Lex wanting to prevent Helen from researching Clark - because, personally? I still think she works for Lionel Luthor.

Lex is just going for that old addage - keep your friends close, and give your enemies your house key.

CJ

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I adore your recaps. They make me extremely happy, even when the ep does not.

This is my new defense mechanism. My poor slash goggles tried SO hard. On the other hand, the sheer lack of het was also happening here too. So very sad. Like poor Lex was gelded.

All of this timing speculation assumes the baby is human. *mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!* If the baby were human, the pregnancy would be late 2nd trimester by now, only concealable by a mother who's quite overweight. Not to mention the kicking, etc. No, I'm hoping for a Kryptonian baby (in whole or part -- maybe Martha is just the surrogate).

You ROCK. I love this idea!

I'm betting the baby is Supergirl. Gag me with an aardvark. But! Then we can all kinds of Evil!Kryptonian fics, where Supergirl is supposed to be Kal-El's mate to propagate the species! Oh, the angst!

Wow, the possiblities....*dazzled*

I want Chloe to become a kick-ass Supervillain when she grows up.

All she needs is a cool name and some stiletto boots.

Hmm. She would totally rock as a villianess.

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

I want Chloe to become a kick-ass Supervillain when she grows up.

All she needs is a cool name and some stiletto boots.

And a red leather bustier. As the Future of Fandom says, all you need is "The Pose, the Clothes, the Foes."

Damn. Now I'm believing in Future Chlark *and* Chlex, with Villainess!Chloe as the Catwoman of Metropolis. Hey, she could go for the trifecta, and be constantly kidnapping, endangering, & rescuing Lana. Pete can be her loyal sidekick, hopelessly in love . . .

I want this show!

[texan-elf.livejournal.com]

seconds Mecurtin. I adore your recaps. They make me extremely happy, even when the ep does not.

I *was* going to pick out a few of my favorite snarky lines but there were too many. I'd be copying about half your commentary on the ep. Seperis. *BG*

I'm a little under the weather and fell asleep after work and *gasp* woke up twenty minutes into the episode. *hugs you* thank you so much for your commentary. Not only do I not have to wait for Sunday's repeat, excuse me Easy View, to find out what I missed but you are delightfully entertaining.

ps. regarding the Kent's lack of stealth and intelligence *not closing the cellar doors, busting into a facility w/o disguises or masks, activating an alien ship in the middle of a parking lot (darn it I don't care if it was dark there could still be people about, even in SV)- I've been a devoted follower of another TV show, The Sentinel. To cut my ramble short, :) I was at a convention several years ago and talked to the set designer/decorator, I'm horrible with titles, as to why in a policeman's loft he would cover up the peephole with a poster. Esp. as this place had been broken into several times by evilvilliansoftheweek. The designer agreed with me that he thought it was illogical too, but someone higher than him had said it stayed.

television decisions boggle the viewers minds.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I was at a convention several years ago and talked to the set designer/decorator, I'm horrible with titles, as to why in a policeman's loft he would cover up the peephole with a poster. Esp. as this place had been broken into several times by evilvilliansoftheweek. The designer agreed with me that he thought it was illogical too, but someone higher than him had said it stayed.

television decisions boggle the viewers minds.

*dies laughing*

I'm finding this endlessly amusing. Just. Once the blank horror recedes, it's like, how many reall bad plot contrivances can they put per scene??????

*hee*

[meret.livejournal.com]

Then we can all kinds of Evil!Kryptonian fics, where Supergirl is supposed to be Kal-El's mate to propagate the species! Oh, the angst!

LOL!

"But, but she's my sister!" Clark wails.

"So what?" the AI replies calmly. "If the Pharoahs did it, so can you. Now get to it."


Hilarious recap, Jenn! :)

[devin-chain.livejournal.com]

Jonathan puts the key in the ship. In the middle of the parking lot. In full view of the windows. Where anyone can see. The ship glows and rises into the air. Maybe just the proximity of the Magic Tarp keeps people from seeing the ship.

I don't know. Space ships in parking lots? So common. Don't you think you're being just a little tough on them here?

Clark shows up and Pete is pleased to see him and gives him a CD. Oh look, product placement for the Talon mix soundtrack! Dear God, they could not be more obvious if they tried.

And that after Clark carried the biggest Gateway computer box I've ever seen into The Talon. I'd already shouted "product placement" at that point, so then The Talon Mix? Whores. Well wait. Come to think of it, that's Clark both times, and if he's whorin, I'm buyin. Do you think he charges by the hour?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Space ships in parking lots? So common. Don't you think you're being just a little tough on them here?

Well, this is Smallville. I'm sure no one noticed the weirdness. You know, with all that OBVIOUS WHITE LIGHT RADIATING FROM IT.

*amazed*

*grins*

And that after Clark carried the biggest Gateway computer box I've ever seen into The Talon. I'd already shouted "product placement" at that point, so then The Talon Mix? Whores. Well wait. Come to think of it, that's Clark both times, and if he's whorin, I'm buyin. Do you think he charges by the hour?

How do we find out? I will totally find the money here. Mmmm. Clark hours.

Re:

[devin-chain.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the only good thing about the ep besides woobie!Chloe was how PRETTY Clark looked, especially ill.

[fox1013.livejournal.com]

*blinks*

I love you SO much.

That is all.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*bows* If I can brighten one person's day with well placed sarcasm, I feel like my job is done.

[plumsnickety.livejournal.com]

See, this is me giggling because somewhere along the way you've found a bit of the Chloe-Love. My work here is done. :)

Meanwhile, my new job is trying to find icons of Lucas' back because dear lord...there ain't nothin' better. If you find any, help a girl out, why don'tcha?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Chloe is slowly growing on me. It's annoying. Darn her.

And his back? Haev you tried devotedtosmallville site yet? I can loook through waht I downloaded and see, but yes, I would kill for the one with Lucas doing his thing on that bar, tattoo and sweaty back ALL there.

*drools* Ohh yeah.

[nellywick.livejournal.com]

Man I hated this episode. Chloe was phenomenal, Clark was a woobie, Jonathan had a couple moments, but the rest made me think the writer must have had a cat walking on his keyboard. Oh, I wanted to scratch out my eyes.

But laughing about how awful it was makes me happy. And less likely to start filing my nails into points.

Outside, two cars pull up beside each other. Huh. A mousy, nervous man hands over a file to Lex. It's Martha Kent's. Okay, did this make sense? It doesn't. It really, really doesn't. She's a friend, he says, and drives off. This still makes no sense. I mean, seriously.

So funny. Sadly, also very true and infuriating, but very funny.

Lex looks slightly perturbed, but doesn't want to stand in her way. We don't want him to, either. Let her go and fulfill her destiny, Lex!

No, it's not just you. My hope: Helen gets obsessed with the alienness that is Clark and turns evil. Maybe goes krypto during her research. Then Clark fights her! And Evil!Dr. Research maybe accidently falls off the roof of the hospital during the fight and dies. And Lex is devasted-- well, yeah, I know, but then Clark can comfort him!

Yes. This is exactly what needs to happen. The only solution!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

No, it's not just you. My hope: Helen gets obsessed with the alienness that is Clark and turns evil. Maybe goes krypto during her research. Then Clark fights her! And Evil!Dr. Research maybe accidently falls off the roof of the hospital during the fight and dies. And Lex is devasted-- well, yeah, I know, but then Clark can comfort him!

Yes. This is exactly what needs to happen. The only solution!

If someone does NOT write this to ease our collective pain, I will be very disappointed.

Defenestrate her! *grins* I learned that word from Victoria. That is the right term, isn't it, for officially throwing someoen out of a window?

Go Clark! Defenestrate! Defenestrate!

Dammit, jenn!

[ladyvyola.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

The entire Smallville High School cheerleading squad (sans Lana, of course) just ran through my head chanting, "D! E! F-E-N! D-E-F-E-N-ESTRATE!"

And then they went away, but only for a moment. Now they're back.

[calebbullen.livejournal.com]

If there's one thing we can all learn from this it's this: NEVER get in a car with Pete. The boy is just bad luck where a car is concerned.

How come the ship didn't heal everyone in the hospital? Seems like that big of a special effect would've worked on people whose last name wasn't kent.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

My God, Pete and vehicles. Smallville is like Car Death Row. They all go there knowing they WILL die. *poor cars*

Well, the ship is not only magical, but magically psychic. It only cures people Clark and Jonathan want to have cured!

Uh huh. Riiiight. This makes so much sense.

[jukeboxromeo.livejournal.com]

You've turned the episode from hell into something I can laugh at. Thank you. :)

[seperis.livejournal.com]

It felt SO good to vent it all out. In a rush of pure evil hate. Now I've softened to mere dislike and boredom.

*shakes head* I miss the good old days of Skinwalker and Visage. I never thought I'd say that.

[kallipoe.livejournal.com]

Dear God, how have they survived this long again?

hee. i feel like i don't have to watch the episode now, and i thank you for that. this recap was far more entertaining.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

You ever watch those films of buildings being blown up and each piece falls? It's sort of like that. You know this is going bad places, you're not sure why it's happening, but you just can't look away right up to the inevitable crash and burn.

Very, very weird. Also? Strangely addictive.

[miriad.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking, in regards to the baby thing, that our time and show time are most certainly not the same and from the looks of the ultrasound that they showed on screen, she's not TOO far along. As to Clark and Jonathon not noticing weight gain- they too, believed that she could not get pregnant so if she started to gain weight, what male, no matter how oblivious, is going to mention that to their mother or wife, knowing that she could and would totally kick their ass and or cry?

Clark is a Mama's Boy- he adores her and I am under no illusions that he would be willing to risk hurting her feelings by bringing up weight gain. Jonathon... well, he knows that he's got a good thing going and that she still looks good in those rack-enhancing stretchy shirts so why fix what isn't really broken?

I don't know, perhaps my brain is working under the assumption that logic can be applied here but I think that if we assume that time has not moved the same way as in real life, then it may make more sense. Or not. Who knows.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

True, this IS Smallville time, where there are weird warps.

I'm still holding out for it being Lionel's baby. *eg* Magnificent Baby with a big head of hair! Oh yes.

I know, I know, but I can dream.

The Pregnancy Timeline

[(Anonymous)]

Jenn, great review as usual, but I have to comment on the
spaceship!baby timeline issue.

See the problem with your reckoning is that you're not accounting for the wacky time/logic warp that hangs over Smallville. It's the one that makes the green corn in the fall, warm enough to wear tank tops and Lara Croft shorts in the "winter," and allows 14 year old freshman to drive, be prom queen, edit the school newspaper, run for class president and legally own their own business.

I mean, there's no snow October '02 in the crazyverse known as Smallville.

Re: The Pregnancy Timeline

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I completely forgot about Smallvilletime, a unique creature that follows no humanly-known pattern.

Hell, right now, that baby could be born like, in the next ep!

*shakes head*

[deadlychameleon.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't remember that cannon Clark had a brother.
I tend to believe that the ship impregnated Martha. (flash of light impregnating a woman? Wait, I've seen this episode of Star Trek) Uberbrother, on the way. I kinda hope that she gives birth to the super child super-early, at least in time warp time, to be honest (snerk. Hey! Guess what! I'm actually 8 months pregnant, you guys are really unobservant). Pregnant characters on television shows irritate the hell out of me, because they constantly play off of it. Hopefully they don't make us watch the birth, but that's no doubt too much to ask. Oh no. I just got the *worst* premonition about the season finale.

If we were playing close attention in Ryan, yeah, we all noticed the look he gave Martha's midsection and then said something to the effect of "you should tell them soon". What I don't get? Hasn't Clark had some sort of random need to x-ray his mother since Ryan? I'm almost sure he has. Didn't he at some point during Insurgence? Or just, you know, randomly in the last few *months*? Hmm. Powers that only work when convenient to the plot. I'm getting Star Trek flashbacks.

What would make me snicker is if it's really Jonathan that's infertile and Martha's been screwing Lionel. I would like that. Hey guess what Lex, you're getting another little brother. (*BG*) He didn't have to steal Martha's file. He could have just asked Clark what was up. And probably will so he can stop pretending that he doesn't know.

I kind of like Helen. And nervous Lex is cute. You know something's up when he's wearing a white shirt and -were those *khakis*? Those of you who are worried about Helen shouldn't be. Chicks who move into Lex's house do not stay there though. There's all these meteor mutants that like to show up unannounced, and a creepy dad who sometimes walks into your shower while pretending to be blind. Not so much fun.
Still? I miss Lex spending time at the Talon. And yes, I miss Lex spending time with Clark. The kiss was sweet, but did you notice the odd angle? We couldn't actually see them kiss at all. Weird.
It stings that Helen found out that Clark's different before Lex though.
-Silverkyst

[seperis.livejournal.com]

It stings that Helen found out that Clark's different before Lex though.

Honestly? Me too.

I see this far future conversation between Clark and Lex after Lex finds out.

"Well, who knew before me, this huge secret?"

"Mom and Dad, of course. Um. Um, Cassandra, but she was psychic! Well, Phelan, but it wasn't my fault! Okay, and Ryan, but again, psychic! Er, okay, Nixon, but that was totally your fault! Er, Pete. But I had to tell him! And Hamilton, sort of. Er. Your dad. Your girlfriend--Helen, right? Um. That's--no, wait. Lana and Chloe figured it out. Then most of teh eastern US and some of Australia. Okay, and there was this total accident in Europe. Oh, did I mention your wife, daughter, housekeeper, sister in law, and most of your pets? Okay, the entire planet, don't you read the paper? But besides them? Just you. It's a huge secret."

*buries head in hands*

[ubertodd.livejournal.com]

Don't forget Kyle, the random stranger of the week! Aside from him, and your list, and some Girl Scouts that Clark had to chase down at Superspeed to get some thin mints, no one else knows.

SlightlyEvilDevious!Lex

[(Anonymous)]

Am I the only one that read Lex not as nervous and in "love" but as devious and manipulative? That's the only way I could understand the encounters with Helen - as some big game he playing with her (like he did with Lionel in Prodigal) to find out whatever secrets she's hiding. Yes, it's Victoria all over again (keeping your enemies close), just with much higher stakes (she knows about Clark & she might be in league with Lionel).

What redeems the whole ep for me: the boys were looking good (I esp. like MR in all his cold slinkiness)!

Kat

Re: SlightlyEvilDevious!Lex

[ubertodd.livejournal.com]

I read it as Lex being possessed by pod people from outer space, but yeah... Complete lack of love and devotion sensing here.

As to why I'm not buying their Twoo Wuv, there are three factors at work here, as far as I can tell:

1. Chemistry. These two people have none. I think they had a little in whatever episode it was when they met, but it's easier to have wattage when you have snarky dialogue.
2. Screentime. We've seen literally none of this relationship onscreen. Even the first kiss we see from them is shot horribly so that we don't even see their mouths in contact.
3. Acting. MR is a wonderful actor, so I'm inclined to believe whatever I see from him has a purpose. Emmanuelle (I can't remember her last name and all I know is it's not Lewis) I don't know as much about. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she seemed very wooden last night. Was that on purpose?

Ok I totally forgot the point I was trying to make. What it comes down to is I just don't buy their relationship, at all, and I can't tell for sure if it's being done on purpose or if we really are supposed to believe that Helen is Lex's mighty heart-mending lovewoman.

Clex and only Clex

[(Anonymous)]

Great descrip of the ep, Jenn, it made me giggle! One point though:
Outside, two cars pull up beside each other. Huh. A mousy, nervous man hands over a file to Lex. It's Martha Kent's. Okay, did this make sense? It doesn't. It really, really doesn't. She's a friend, he says, and drives off. This still makes no sense. I mean, seriously.
Lex has had it shoved in his face a lot recently that something special is up with Clark but that he's to keep his nose out. This implied request is unrealistic though because Lex is so going to take matters into his own hands and find out everything that he can about the Kents in order to help/protect them (from his father etc.) more efficiently. He's all about Clark all the time IMO!

That said, I need to read some very hot Clex porn right now, just for reinforcement....
Starflower.

[ellemem.livejournal.com]

Jenn, your synopsis makes me actually want to watch this episode again. *shudder* Which says a lot more for your writing than the people who do the scripts!

The glow of the ship washes Magical Light through the hospital.

Yep. And no one noticed. I guess they give out anti-magical light goggles to the people in Smallville hospitals.

Cut to later. Helen shows an ultrasound of the baby. She says it's fine.

This annoys me. Wasn't Helen an orthopedic specialist a few episodes back? Then she's an ER doc. Now she's a perinatologist? And her true love is research? Are there no other doctors in Smallville?

[resmin.livejournal.com]

For continuity buffs, we got our first clue back in Ryan. In a while, I'm going to do some magic math. But not now.
anybody ever tell you you're kinda cute? you are.. made me smile at any rate.

Recap

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for the recap. There was just so much wrong with the episode, that it's good to see the humor of just how bad it was.

Anyone besides me find the offer from Johns Hopkins suspicious? They don't hand out 3 year research fellowships to just anyone, particularly not to doctors who have stepped off the fast track to practice small town medicine. I suspect the long arm of Lionel behind the offer.

And Jonathan Kent has all the survival instincts of a lemming three weeks dead. Go ahead and let anyone into Clark's secret. I mean, why did he even call the doctor knowing that she couldn't actually treat Clark? And then the whole blood work, followed by his treating her as if she were stupid? Way to piss her off Jonathan. She could have been an ally, but now you've wrecked that chance.

Or how about the fact that the easiest way to have retrieved the key would have been to call Lex. He, at least, can put together a coherent plan, or hire competent burglars. That way Jonathan (and Clark) could have been with Martha, in what might have been her final moments.

Don't you think the hospital folk noticed that Martha's family was told she wouldn't make it through the night, and no one bothered to drive in to see her?

Of course we've already established everyone in the hospital is blind, since apparently they missed the giant spaceship and the bright light that illuminated the entire hospital.

Sigh. Trained chimps banging away at a wordprocessor could have done better....