there are no stars here and i don't want them anyway

So after losing my glasses, my work ID badge, and feeling the great weight of horror when I realized hey, this isn't really Friday since I have mandatory work on Saturday, potentially indefinitely, I'm going to speculate this will be a Bad Day.

So today is a day of Lowered Expectations.

My lowered expectation of the day: I will not throw my tiny bowl of refried beans at anyone's face with the intent of bodily harm should they ask me any of these three questions:

1.) Say, did you get that job?
2.) Hey, you have some time to do a few more tests....?
3.) How are you?

I will give myself extra points if I also manage the following but am aware this may be a little too ambitious today.

1.) Not stare hatefully at anyone who looks at me.
2.) Not hide in the bathroom stall to play sudoku on my phone, Fiendish level.
3.) Not hide under my desk to play sudoku on my phone, Fiendish level.

I will not accomplish the following things and accept that totally:

1.) smile.
2.) enjoy the company of other human beings.
3.) not play sudoku, Fiendish level, on my phone while at my desk.

This is a day of lowered expectations. Excuse me while I try to finish my refried beans before anyone realizes I'm here. I really like them, but the container is very aerodynamic and I'm already getting a headache without my glasses.

Anyone want to add their own?

Comments

[celli]

I will only nap in the bathroom, and only for a few minutes at a time.

...or outside at lunch, but only *for* lunch.

[seperis]

I would resolve not ot nap at my desk at lunch today, but I already know that's never, ever going to happen.

*fistbump* Keep it real, yo.

[ineptshieldmaid]

Tomorrow, I will not write the most scathing comment I can think up on every single student assessment (second most scathing is fair game, in the spirit of lowered expectations).

[seperis]

*applauds* That's the spirit!

[ineptshieldmaid]

:D I should practice lowered expectations more often.

[akavertigo]

When asked to describe what I did for 40 hours this week, I will not answer with any variation of "read fic, researched pie".

[seperis]

Mmmmm. Pie.

[akavertigo]

The global history of pie.

Also, pancakes.

[venetia_sassy]

Tomorrow, I will not refer to my former stepmother as a bitch, whether in my mind or out loud, although she turned her back on me at my father's wake today.

... I may be aiming too high with this. It's been a long day.

[seperis]

Oh damn. *hugs you* You pull that off, you win forever.

[venetia_sassy]

*gratefully accepts hugs* Being blatantly ignored was better than a Scene (which I was worried about )... but I still don't get why she has such a problem with me. Ah well. Future contact should be minimal.

Tomorrow I will bake cookies, I will eat cookies, I will not think about my waistline and I will not refer to former stepmother as a bitch.

This may be achievable in combination.

[seperis]

I like cookies and waistline. I don't think anyon ewould blame you for misinsg number three. LIke, ever.

*hugs again* Now though, I wnat cookies so much.

[venetia_sassy]

Chocolate Oatmeal cookies. I highly recommend them. Especially while they're still warm.

Cookies make things seem much better. :)

[seperis]

Oh damn. *hugs you* You pull that off, you win forever.

[boggit]

I will not go refresh the Pern Kradam AU repetitively.*

I will not care that I'm broken out and all pudgy-ish for the wedding I'm attending tomorrow with people from college I wasn't that into at the time.

I will not feel demoralized when my boss deems the best use of my time and skills to be "preparing letters for mailing"...aka putting letterhead in the printer and hitting go.

*(Actually, I reserve the right to do this one, because I'm only human). Also, I found our near-simultaneous comments hilarious. Enthusiasm and late nights for the win. You were seriously up late!

[dine]

today, I will refrain from shrieking at stupid callers who keep asking the same damn dumb questions. or at least, I shall wait until I hang up the phone before venting my ire aloud

[scy]

Today I will not assume that the therapists are in actuality overgrown children at times who expect me to pick up after them.

And that my only being given part time hours means I cannot actually do everything one expects of a full time person - in spite of how well I manage my time. Must be at peace with this.

*chants this silently*

[apetslife.livejournal.com]

I, too, am having an incredibly low-expectation day.

I will accomplish the following:

1) not stab any of the parents of the new freshmen right in the face for being utter dicksmacks to us.
2) not slam the phone down on people calling us the fifth time to ask the same irrelevant question as if the answer will somehow change between calls 4 and 5
3) I will eat something between now and the end of the workday.

...yeah, I think that's about all I'm capable of, right now.

[thornsilver]

I will not do bodily harm to people, just because I can and they are asking for it. *nods*

[omglawdork.livejournal.com]

Today, we fly with JB for the first time, to see Husband's grandparents in upstate NY. I will not:
- bitch out anyone that says anything if he has a meltdown on the plane, despite best efforts on my part;
- have a meltdown of my own if he has one; or
- kill my grandmother-in-law if she tells Husband he's fat (like she did last time before shoving ice cream at him, wtf. Nice person generally. But come on).

I am sorry you have to work on Saturday. State agency employees don't get paid enough for that shit.

[druidspell.livejournal.com]

As I would have had a grand total of 30 minutes sleep, I called off work today and told them I had pinkeye. (No one questions pinkeye. Ever.)
But, seeing as one of the reasons I only got 30 minutes of sleep is due to my sister having drunken *loud* sex in the room next door, I am still experiencing a day of lowered expectations.
Today, I will:
*NOT go into her room and break all of her shit, however tempted I am.
*Charge her for the inconvenience and sheer horror of having to hear her.
*NOT light anything on fire, or throw anything heavier than a paperback book at her head.
*Write more on some of the WIPs I've been poking at.

[aivilo-18.livejournal.com]

I will accomplish the following:

1) Coffee.
2) Porn.
3) Porn.

[cat-77.livejournal.com]

I will not write teh pronz at work but will, instead, write H/C fic.

and

I will not shout out "Are they dumb or are they stupid?" regarding our support department. Again. [To be fair, it was only once so far and my manager only sighed a little.]

Sorry your day sucks. Hopefully it will get better?

[anjak-j.livejournal.com]

*hugs and hands a nice cup of tea with cookies*

[stellarluna35.livejournal.com]

I found this and thought of you. Now I can share it:
(http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/2010-06-27/)

And I will not maim or kill any of my drunken tenants when they stumble in at 3 AM.