this kind of day

I'd like to say that my life has somehow become violently interesting, but no.

We'll split this into three separate but equal categories of sheer boredom.

Rabbits

Not litter trained. Basically, against the advice of every book and webpage a I have bought or hunted, mine are the messy, messy exception to the basic rule of rabbits. All four of the little bastards. Reggie recently discovered a new mutation in rabbit abilities--teleportation. In which you put him in a pen that's about three or four times higher than his body length, and he still gets out. I--really have no idea how he's doing this. Gravity is kind of working against him on this one. All the laws of nature and man are working against him on this one. But no, six fifty-five this morning, he's out, running the living room.

Work

Last Tuesday, called into another Manager's Meeting to seriously discuss the entire cake and card thing that apparently outranks world hunger as an important part of our jobs. I wish I could explain how surreal it is to sit in front of four managers, one soon-to-be manager, and an associate commissioner and try not to ask, "Are you all crazy? Why do you care? Why in the name of God am I revising this again? Why did I need to revise it in the first place?" The really worst part is, none of these people have a sense of humor except my manager, and even his is fairly low-key, so I'm beginning to suspect that the position requires you to be as deadpan and boring as possible and he's just barely escaping being sucked in. Apparently, the entire time I'm seriously, seriously arguing birthday policy, he's staring at the wall so as not to break up my very serious, serious speech by giggling himself sick. Afterward, he snickered his way through our unit meeting explaining how I made an argument for an office scavenger hunt sound like a speech on behalf of world peace.

I mean. On one hand? I kick ass. On the other. Oh dear God, what am I becoming?

For those interested, the policy in question is under the cut. This is, theoretically, the final draft of the policy covering 2006 and implementation is retroactive to February--and no, I have no idea what the hell that means, it's a *birthday policy* but you know what? Maybe they'e building me a time machine.



Topic: Change from quarterly birthday celebrations to monthly celebrations

A.) Monthly birthday celebrations would be held the first Friday of every month, celebrating all birthdays within that month, beginning in March.

B.) All OO staff will be invited to contribute a covered dish for a potluck extending from 11:30-1:00, to facilitate networking and OO office come and go. Denisse is in charge of cake and card information.

Benefits

· Increase office participation
· Networking opportunities
· Introduce new staff.
· Facilitate each person to feel a valued member of the team.
· Big fun. ( I am a big fan of this one)

C.) A cake and card will be contributed by the birthday committee. However, on date of actual birthday, or if on weekend the Friday before or Monday after, the office will be decorated and a small gift and/or balloon given to the birthday person. Cards for birthdays will be signed by the managers only, with an email sent to the OO to invite other members of the OO to sign it before presenting it to the birthday person.

D.) Birthday staff will record monthly meeting with pictures to be kept in scrapbook. See next topic.


Topic: Scrapbook of Events

The Birthday Committee wishes to add an OO Events Scrapbook, which would chronicle special occasions and/or events of the unit, including birthdays, recognition, parties, and awards given to various staff. Helen Green will research and begin the scrapbook.


Topic: Other Occassions

The managers will need to keep the Courtesy committee informed of special events in their units such as marriages and births, and unfortunate circumstances such as hospitalizations and/or deaths, and supply appropriate cards and a small token of the OO unit’s appreciation/respect for the person in question.

1.) For an employee’s illness requiring hospitalization, a plant and card will be given to the employee on their return. For extended hospitalization, a card may be sent to them directly.
2.) For funerals/death in the immediate family (parents, children, spouse), a plant and card will be sent to the funeral. The OO unit in which the event occurred will be asked to contribute $1 each toward the plant, with the option for the entire OO to participate as they wish. The balance will be paid by the committee.
3.) For births, a card will be provided.
4.) Card policy will match birthday card policy; see above.


Other events: TBA.


Topic: Birthday Committee Meetings

Quarterly meetings for the birthday committee will be held to plan the next three months of events/celebrations, discuss inter-unit issues and OO issues regarding these events, as well as check funding for birthday celebrations. Emails regarding payment of monthly dues will go out as appropriate at the end of every month for those paying on the monthly plan.



Other occassions subsection was revised *six times*. And I still have hand-written notes that I'm pretending I never got, because seriously, my nerves aren't up to this.

Stumped

Okay. So. If I just said, I want to do a challenge! But don't tell you what it is until after you sign up--would anyone do that? Okay, right, probably not. But see, it's on my New Year's Resolution list and I really, really want to get some of that stuff out of the way before I end up scaring myself on New Year's Eve trying to do it all.

In further news...ohh, new comptuers at work! Oh wow.

Comments

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

i'd participate in that challenge. *shrugs* if nothing else, it would probably be completely whacked, coming from the person who wanted fairy-king!john fic. ;p

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*grins* It's not very crazy, and it's not a traditional challenge, but it *is* fairly easy. Hmm. Hmm hmm hmm.

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

I didn't read the whole policy, because I *need* those brain cells, but your experiences make me so glad my husband & I work at home, together, and only have to deal with clients and not co-workers.

Yes, your pain makes me laugh.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*eyes you* I'm so relieved I could be of service.

*sighs and stare* seriously. I wrote that thing and it makes me twitch.

[lemonbella.livejournal.com]

What I want to know is, when I give birth why the hell don't I get a plant?

[seperis.livejournal.com]

...I don't know.

*blank look*

Oh my God. One of the managers is going to see that and I'mgoing to be called in for another meeting.

*shocky*

[ratcreature]

If it's any consolation, IMO the rodent books' opinions on litter trainability are just crap. All the rat books claim that rats can be litter trained, that they'd prefer a sandbox to bury their shit, that they'd learn if you set them in their sandbox when they're about to crap, that they'd go there if you put the litter box in their favorite places... blablabla. And none of mine ever learned fully. Some are a little cleaner than others, but nothing in the sense of "litter trained" as you use the word for cats and dogs. I mean, it's possible that there's some secret technique for rodent potty training I'm just not aware of, or that maybe I should have worked harder or whatever, but it never worked for me.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*sits with you*

we fail as small animal caretakers. Or...maybe Other People are crazy. I mean, it could all be lies. Lies to make us feel bad.

*narrowed eyes* Yes. Yes yes yes.

[rike-tikki-tavi.livejournal.com]

Boy, you guys take your birthday policies serious. Thanks for the giggles.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I wrote that thing. I feel like I've perverted the natural goodness of writing. I'll have to write *miles* of good, wholesome porn to wash this away.

Oh well. I suppose if I must, I must.

[corinna-5.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to know that the important work of government is getting done. Birthday policies!

[seperis.livejournal.com]

Your tax dollars at work, my friend.

[vickita.livejournal.com]

OMG. I am speechless. Seriously, without speech. Holy @#$%.

I am so, so, so grateful that I work in a place that is peopled with computer nerds and weather weenies. The only time someone's birthday is recognized is (a) if they are a secretary, because all of the other secretaries get together and do something, or (b) if they are turning 40 (which happens around here probably a couple of times a year -- it's the demographics), in which case their friends festoon their cubicle with black crepe paper and balloons and make their lives living hell for 8 hours.

End of policy. *g*

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*dies* Simple and easy. I like it.

[kernezelda]

*is so very, very grateful not to be where you are*

Bunnies will take over the world. Seriously.

Given a fandom I can write in, I would probably be up for a TBA challenge.

Potentially.

Maybe.

Perhaps.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*smirks* Oooh. *Interesting*.

[norabombay.livejournal.com]

I wrote a 3 page, 30 something point memo, to indicate all of the administrative work that was entailed in selling our courses in a "no admin required" way.

It was perhaps the highlight of my career.

I wrote a 46 page report on state continuing education markets. Nobody read it. I'm now going to make the powerpoint.

And sadly it is going to say things like "We can't do this in California because the state of California says so".

And when a two million dollar deal collapses because nobody paid any attention to me? I will laugh.

It is just as bad as the old office, where wehad an entrie staff meeting on the proper way to load the dishwasher.

[tranquil-bedlam.livejournal.com]

OMG. I can just *See* that! did it come w/ color-coded hand-outs?

~"I used to think that dilbert was funny. Now it's my biography."

Going to be annoying now about that policy

[mamadeb.livejournal.com]

Not everyone is comfortable with plants/flowers given for funerals. Honestly, I wouldn't know what one would even do with them. Perhaps a similarly priced basket of fruit would work for such people?

[lillian13.livejournal.com]

God, I'm glad I work in a nerd-friendly engineering firm. Birthday coming up? The admin calls up, queries as to flavor of cake and date for celebration. You buy/pass around card. Tough one. Of course, we have company-wide deck parties with beer, so....

But also I've done my time working for the City, where there would be vicious fights over who got a cube with a window view. These would last for days.

If you absolutely must write porn, you can write some more EvilPrisoneer!porn, or you know, there's this crack-y idea I've had wandering around about John as a convict/slave with the ATA gene who gets sent to Atlantis...

[sp23.livejournal.com]

I don't think the Bush White House has an illegal immigration policy as comprehensive as your company's birthday/other occasion policy. :)

I'd probably sign up for your challenge.

[mad-jaks.livejournal.com]

*dies*
It is a long time since I worked for actual money - things weren't like that in my day - mind you this is England so it probably still doesn't *g*

[amireal.livejournal.com]

*admires you*

You have gotten your office to suppory a monthly 2 hour party.

*misty eyes*

[norabombay.livejournal.com]

It sounds better till you realize? This means you must socialize with your officemates. For two hours...

[gwendolen.livejournal.com]

And I thought my company was exceptional when it comes to pointless meetings. I really should suggest something like that to our CEO. His reaction would be priceless.

My co-worker would love this she who adamantly refuses to be put on the company-birthday-list, but then the tradition in Germany is, that the birthday-child brings cake or sweets for the whole team.

Sill, what a colossal waste of time and energy. I mean, birthday committee? Quarterly meetings? Monthly meetings? Scrapbooks? Do people actually have time for that during a normal work-day?

And now I have this really strange vision of the SGC sending a chair person for the birthday committee to Atlantis who then starts to put together a birthday comittee...

It might end with Ronon eating all the sweets, Teyla smiling very *very* politely while John and Rodney hide in the highest corner of Atlantis, behind tons of Ancient technology. Though of course Rodney didn't forget to grab the cake while they planned their strategic retreat. *eg*

[cetpar.livejournal.com]

The fact that the birthday stuff has to put in *writing* as an actually policy just boggles the mind.

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The fact that the birthday stuff has to put in *writing* as an actually policy just boggles the mind.

<i.Afterward, he snickered his way through our unit meeting explaining how I made an argument for an office scavenger hunt sound like a speech on behalf of world peace.</i>
Hee! And scavenger hunt! That would be fun.

[revelininsanity.livejournal.com]

My little Tupac was perfectly litter trained(she could've schooled me!) right up until a week before her death.

Then my parents went out and got me two more rabbits. They never caught onto it.

I think one rabbit knows it, the two together don't.

Or else Tupac was just the greatest rabbit ever. It might be that.

[sffan.livejournal.com]

Okay, your work is crazy. They actually put the birthday policy in writing? Will they be codifying when and how one is permitted to go on bathroom breaks next?

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

Rabbits ... but but ... but don't rabbits, like, jump? I'm sure somebody told me that. I think they're *known* for it, even. I think I even once saw a nature film where a bunny jumped straight up in the air who knows how high - but it was high.

Of course, my experience is all with cats (and dogs, back when I was younger). And I've seen cats apparently *levitate* from the floor to the top of a six-foot tall bookcase or a seven-foot tall door, seemingly without effort. Wouldn't a bunny be even more talented that way?

Work ... you need a birthday strip-o-gram policy added to that document. Because otherwise? It could devolve into CHAOS!!!

Stumped ... I will ... I will READ the stories written for that challenge. *beams*

[emrinalexander.livejournal.com]

Viz a viz point two of your policy:

What about those of us who define immediate family as a Significant Other (of any sex) to whom we are not married "officially"? Do we get a smaller plant (perhaps a cactus) or just a bouquet from Safway? Are in-laws included in the definition of "immediate family" (and do they still count if we hate them?) Also, I note you have covered births, but what about adoptions? Do I have to contribute to the plant if it is for somebody I would like to stab in the eye with a spoon?

If I'm hospitalized for an extended period do I just get the card or will the committee pony up for a fruit basket? I think if I'm going to be subjected to an extended period of suffering at the hands of medical professionals, the least the office can do is send me a freaking basket of fruit I can't eat.

In closing, please clarify what "big fun" is - does that mean we get to wear hats?

[robynbender.livejournal.com]

1. Re birthday policies: Things could be worse: http://lemonbella.livejournal.com/71394.html

2. Experiencing horrid deja vu reading your policy. If they ever attempt to put you on an ad hoc working group to draft a Dress Code, FLEE!!! Flee for the hills!!

in solidarity, R

[proserpina-kore.livejournal.com]

Goodness, it appears some of your so-called friends are laughing at this most important piece of policy.

::indignant exclamation!!!!::

I would like your permission to take a copy and take it my office so that we all may learn from it.

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Well, no not really. Because basically someone might put me in charge of the birthday committee. You poor thing. It's lucky you've got the new computers at work so you can keep track of all the birthdays...