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Thursday, December 29th, 2005 09:37 pm
and yeah. bears.
I'd like to be able to honestly state that today, I did not impulse buy a four and a half foot tall bear, currently sitting on my bed, while I was wandering through Albertson's getting stuff to make breakfast casserole at work. I did not search dilligently for a price tag or make several employees hunt down the price. Nor, when I heard the price, did I immediately choose to get the bear anyway.
Sadly, that would be a lie.
The bear basically takes up more space on my bed than I do. His name is Augustine and I love him. I have no idea why I walked out today with the makings for breakfast casserole, tarragon, swirl chips for cookies, and a four and a half foot tall, extremely wide stuffed bear.
I'm almost sure this is an extremely strange cry for help, but I'm not entirely sure *why*.
Okay, vote time. And please just move on past the bear already, we have covered that.
John Sheppard, at chronological sixteen, after a long, long night of survival training with Ronon, returns from the mainland, sweaty, and possibly there was rain, so he's soaking wet and lost his shirt, maybe some artistic mud on one cheekbone, slowly prowling the corridors of Atlantis, hair in his eyes, and sneaks in to seduce Rodney.
We think:
A.) That is the filthiest thing ever. I have lost all respect for you as a person. But when you write it, email me please?
B.) Didn't he like, throw up on Rodney after his birthday party? HIS NINTH BIRTHDAY PARTY? And oh Jenn, RODNEY WAS HIS SURROGATE BROTHER/FATHER WHEN HE WAS EIGHT OH MY GOD YOU REVOLT ME!
C.) Wait. Didn't you write Clark/Lex when Clark was a freshman? And denying his age now in total contradiction of your own dirtyness?
D.) ...what are Pru and Madelyn blackmailing you with? If I email them, will they share?
I am way too lazy and too terrified of the results to make this a poll. I have this theory that fewer people will take the time and comment just to say B, and also, jenn, please get a drug habit so you don't traumatize our memories of cute eight year old John.
Sadly, that would be a lie.
The bear basically takes up more space on my bed than I do. His name is Augustine and I love him. I have no idea why I walked out today with the makings for breakfast casserole, tarragon, swirl chips for cookies, and a four and a half foot tall, extremely wide stuffed bear.
I'm almost sure this is an extremely strange cry for help, but I'm not entirely sure *why*.
Okay, vote time. And please just move on past the bear already, we have covered that.
John Sheppard, at chronological sixteen, after a long, long night of survival training with Ronon, returns from the mainland, sweaty, and possibly there was rain, so he's soaking wet and lost his shirt, maybe some artistic mud on one cheekbone, slowly prowling the corridors of Atlantis, hair in his eyes, and sneaks in to seduce Rodney.
We think:
A.) That is the filthiest thing ever. I have lost all respect for you as a person. But when you write it, email me please?
B.) Didn't he like, throw up on Rodney after his birthday party? HIS NINTH BIRTHDAY PARTY? And oh Jenn, RODNEY WAS HIS SURROGATE BROTHER/FATHER WHEN HE WAS EIGHT OH MY GOD YOU REVOLT ME!
C.) Wait. Didn't you write Clark/Lex when Clark was a freshman? And denying his age now in total contradiction of your own dirtyness?
D.) ...what are Pru and Madelyn blackmailing you with? If I email them, will they share?
I am way too lazy and too terrified of the results to make this a poll. I have this theory that fewer people will take the time and comment just to say B, and also, jenn, please get a drug habit so you don't traumatize our memories of cute eight year old John.
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From:So, I'll go with
ab. *nods*And when you write it and post it, I will read it just to tell you how dirty you make me feel. You evil person, you.
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From:I will shame you with my adorableness.
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From:...Why didn't Rodney get ME a four and a half foot tall bear?
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From:John Sheppard, at chronological sixteen, after a long, long night of survival training with Ronon, returns from the mainland, sweaty, and possibly there was rain, so he's soaking wet and lost his shirt, maybe some artistic mud on one cheekbone, slowly prowling the corridors of Atlantis, hair in his eyes, and sneaks in to seduce Rodney.
I have died of the hotness. When will you be posting this story?
Also, teddy bears need no reason. They exist to delight us.
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From:But--there was crying! And minijumpers!
And beautiful, perfectly golden tanned, very flexible from working out, sixteen year old John, all sweaty and aggressive and....
You know, this talking myself out of it thing is not working.
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From:*points*
You and Pru and Madelyn and ALL OF YOU! NO MORE BLACKMAILING OF ME!
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From:And I'd vote a if you crossed out the first two lines because I am not ashamed. I mean, what would be *really* bad is if he said, Ronon, will you teach me how other things work, and Ronon thinks, huh, Teyla wouldn't like that, but then, that artistically placed mud just totally did him in, and *then* John goes with all this newfound knowledge to seduce Rodney properly.
I mean, now *that* would be just--horrible. Yes.
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From:Candy Nazi
From:Re: Candy Nazi
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From:zomg D D D D
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You ain't fooling nobody, woman!
From:Cry for help....*from* the bear....
From:Write it, write it!
(But really? Rodney would be *so* OOC if he didn't have spastic freak-out heebiejeebies over the age thing and throw Teen!John out on his keester. And then Teen!John could have TeenAngst & wail: "Rodney! I thought you looovved meeeee!")
And *then* I'd love to see what would happen when Adult!John tried to seduce Rodney *again* once he's "legal"......
you are sooo evil--and yet, crack-a-licious!
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Re: Cry for help....*from* the bear....
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Re: Cry for help....*from* the bear....
From:Re: Cry for help....*from* the bear....
From:Re: Cry for help....*from* the bear....
From:Re: Cry for help....*from* the bear....
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2005-12-31 12:42 am (UTC) - expandno subject
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From:*relurks*
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From: (Anonymous) Date: 2005-12-30 04:08 am (UTC)(- reply to this
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From:A. Um, definitely A.
I already have a prime seat reserved in the handbasket to the special hell, might as well make it worth the trip.
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From:smutstory, please.(- reply to this
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From:(i think)
If it's been way less time than that, I am prepared to enable Teen!John's surprisingly effective yet endearingly clumsy attempts at seduction.
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From:wait. I lost my train of thought.
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From:Definately A!
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From:(Also, I think a few of us out here would selflessly risk eternal damnation and read such a story, simply to be able to tell you just how Special-Hell-Bound you are. Out of love and concern for your immoral immortal soul.)
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From:*winks and grins*
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From:My God people. NO SHAME!
Yes, I know, me saying that is too funny for words.
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From:Also:
A.) That is the filthiest thing ever. I have lost all respect for you as a person. Butwhen you write it, email me please?(- reply to this
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