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Saturday, April 16th, 2005 01:13 pm
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This Thing
I am apparently less than ten minutes from a maximum security prison.
This is not just totally new information to me. Wait. It is totally new information, but it is also highly intersting in that way of wondering if I actually inhabit this plane of existence at all. Cause that is a lot of prison to miss.
Let me say it again.
A. Maximum. Security. Prison. Less than Ten. Minutes. Away.
This revelation occurred during the Great Trampoline Journey of Last Weekend, when my sister helpfully pointed out a spot in the middle of a very nearby town that looked like any wooded midtown area and said, "There's a prison there."
Me: "Huh?"
But lo. Apparently, there is. That or five vaguely neutral observors are all plotting against me, and while I'd usually go with that theory, I'm kind of entranced with the idea of it. Cause it has been there for years. And I did not know.
Again. Maximum. Security. Prison. Huh. Sooo did not see that coming out of nowhere.
This and That
Oooh. I fought the hotlinker and I *won*. The hotlinker was eleven. Somehow, that makes my victory not as fun. *sighs* On the other hand,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
svmadelyn was my guinea pig to test whether it was working and she was good at it. And we both wondered what on earth she was doing on my Love and Lust page. Cause--no. Do not want to think about that. That's three years older than my son.
...okay, now I am starting to sound like Dr Laura.
Speaking of which, does anyone but me, when listening to Dr. Laura, feel inexpressibly brilliant and competent by comparsion to teh people who call in?
Right. Work with me on this one.
It was not my fault, but the radio was there and I couldn't turn it off. In the course of about an hour, the calls ranged from scary to--well, scary.
This is what Listening to Dr. Laura does to you:
C: "I have this person I've known for three months and who used to be my friend and she's needy so we broke up but she wants to be friends again and what should I do?"
Dr.L: "Do you want to be friends with her?
C: "Maybe? I don't know. I guess. Maybe. No? Sort of? I dont' want to hurt her feelings! No! Yes! NO!"
Dr.L: "Then tell her no."
Q: "BUT HOW?"
....
Caller was twenty-six, married, with a child. I'll stop here, because teh conversation degenerated to, and I have no idea how this happened considering the subject matter, your husband works hard to take care fo you! He deserves a bright happy loving wife! Why are you punishing him? WHY ARE YOU CAUSING HIM PAIN AFTER HIS LONG DAY AT THE OFFICE YOU WHORE? Except without the whore part. I think.
I still have no idea how this happened.
Dr. Laura consistently strengthens my resolve to never marry. Seh's also slowly eroding my hope that the human race is actually smarter than Jerry Springer has led me to believe.
Okay, so thought. I'm bored. I need something new to do. Any suggestions? Trampolining until your legs hurt is great for working off all those Hershey's Kisses you've been guzzling by the bag all week, but the third time you land on your ass trying to show off to your son and he convulses on teh ground laughing too hard to talk? You sort of lose your taste for it.
ETA: HAHAHA! SO NOT MAXIMUM SECURITY! MINIMUM! And Mid, whatever that means. WHEE! I DO NOT NEED TO SUDDENLY DEVELOP A NEW IRRATIONAL TERROR!
Okay, seriously, I need something to do here. I'm goggling *prisons* for God's sake.
I am apparently less than ten minutes from a maximum security prison.
This is not just totally new information to me. Wait. It is totally new information, but it is also highly intersting in that way of wondering if I actually inhabit this plane of existence at all. Cause that is a lot of prison to miss.
Let me say it again.
A. Maximum. Security. Prison. Less than Ten. Minutes. Away.
This revelation occurred during the Great Trampoline Journey of Last Weekend, when my sister helpfully pointed out a spot in the middle of a very nearby town that looked like any wooded midtown area and said, "There's a prison there."
Me: "Huh?"
But lo. Apparently, there is. That or five vaguely neutral observors are all plotting against me, and while I'd usually go with that theory, I'm kind of entranced with the idea of it. Cause it has been there for years. And I did not know.
Again. Maximum. Security. Prison. Huh. Sooo did not see that coming out of nowhere.
This and That
Oooh. I fought the hotlinker and I *won*. The hotlinker was eleven. Somehow, that makes my victory not as fun. *sighs* On the other hand,
svmadelyn was my guinea pig to test whether it was working and she was good at it. And we both wondered what on earth she was doing on my Love and Lust page. Cause--no. Do not want to think about that. That's three years older than my son....okay, now I am starting to sound like Dr Laura.
Speaking of which, does anyone but me, when listening to Dr. Laura, feel inexpressibly brilliant and competent by comparsion to teh people who call in?
Right. Work with me on this one.
It was not my fault, but the radio was there and I couldn't turn it off. In the course of about an hour, the calls ranged from scary to--well, scary.
This is what Listening to Dr. Laura does to you:
C: "I have this person I've known for three months and who used to be my friend and she's needy so we broke up but she wants to be friends again and what should I do?"
Dr.L: "Do you want to be friends with her?
C: "Maybe? I don't know. I guess. Maybe. No? Sort of? I dont' want to hurt her feelings! No! Yes! NO!"
Dr.L: "Then tell her no."
Q: "BUT HOW?"
....
Caller was twenty-six, married, with a child. I'll stop here, because teh conversation degenerated to, and I have no idea how this happened considering the subject matter, your husband works hard to take care fo you! He deserves a bright happy loving wife! Why are you punishing him? WHY ARE YOU CAUSING HIM PAIN AFTER HIS LONG DAY AT THE OFFICE YOU WHORE? Except without the whore part. I think.
I still have no idea how this happened.
Dr. Laura consistently strengthens my resolve to never marry. Seh's also slowly eroding my hope that the human race is actually smarter than Jerry Springer has led me to believe.
Okay, so thought. I'm bored. I need something new to do. Any suggestions? Trampolining until your legs hurt is great for working off all those Hershey's Kisses you've been guzzling by the bag all week, but the third time you land on your ass trying to show off to your son and he convulses on teh ground laughing too hard to talk? You sort of lose your taste for it.
ETA: HAHAHA! SO NOT MAXIMUM SECURITY! MINIMUM! And Mid, whatever that means. WHEE! I DO NOT NEED TO SUDDENLY DEVELOP A NEW IRRATIONAL TERROR!
Okay, seriously, I need something to do here. I'm goggling *prisons* for God's sake.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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From:Or my favorite theory. Plotting against me.
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From:So I'm cleaning off my computer of really old semagic versions and downloading new, shiny ones, so I can work on really long recs pages today.
We could just comment, I suppose. Make up fun "A Prisoner Escapes From Maximum Security And Lands On Jenn's Front Porch" stories and practice for what you would do in that situation.
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From:*ponders*
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From:Or. LOST. LOST. LOST. Sawyer. Jack. Boone, sweet in-love-with-his-sort-of-sister Boone. Looooockeee.
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From:I'm sorry, did you hear something?
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From:Oh, and the polar bear.
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From:Also, I'm sending you chocolate.
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From:*coughs innocently; waits over yonder*
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From:You know, if you'd have sent her VMars we could say watch that.
Besides, I want to see Prison Practice scenarios!
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From:*flails*
I am not opposed to taking horrible advantage. I think it's one of my better qualities.
Both of you could be entertaining me on AIM, you know.
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From:*eyes AIM* If I get on, I won't get anything done. And I've gotten things done today! We don't want me to stop doing things, now do we?
Also, re: following comment:
No. This is a *training exercise* so Jenn can feel safe and secure, not something for our simple entertainment. For. Shame.
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From:You can't train her without practice prisoners, is all I'm saying.
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From:Because. I'd be up for that.
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From:*ponders anyway*
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From:I wonder if they ever let anyone out on furlough.
Dr. Laura and Springer are not as different as they'd like you to believe. There are just some people out there who take great pride in the fact that they can find people dumber than them that are willing to put themselves on the airwaves.
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From:Oh, that's no fun. *evilgrin* though I'd breathe easier too, with only white-collar criminals burrowing under the lawn. Whop them on the head with a weed whacker when they come up.
yeah i'm in some weird mood here....
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From:*smiles*
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From:Ooh! What are you seeing when you goggle prisons? Anything racy? Are you goggling prisoners, too? I hear some of them spend all their time working out. They're a captive, well, audience isn't quite the right word... What word? hmm...
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From:I totally read that as you were about ten minutes away from being condemned to a maximum security prison. Totally different from what you meant, I realised.
And, huh. It's not even like I watch enough Oz to blame the mis-read on that.
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From:I immediately thought about the contents of a slasher's hard-drive. I blame a conversation a bunch of had when we realised that half of us had some pretty problematic stuff stored. HP slash was only the beginning.
Mmmm... Oz....
Seperis as an observer in Oz....
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a story you wrote
From: (Anonymous) Date: 2005-04-17 05:06 pm (UTC)I was wondering if you could help, Im kinda new to all this stuff, but was reading a story I think you wrote...Pretty When You're Mine
Seems there are only 14 chapters (lol, only) and well the last one was left on a cliffhanger. Is it finished?
Thanks!
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Re: a story you wrote
From:And glad you like!
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From: (Anonymous) Date: 2005-04-17 06:16 pm (UTC)onyx should have made you write atleast a hundred pages of fic by now.
*pointing finger* i am ashamed over you.
us fangirl lurkers, who don't write ourselves kinda feel abandoned by her holy seperisness... bo effing hoo.:(
pretty please?
devon (jenn lurker)
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From:Yeah, even I can see this is going to go scary places unless I just sit down and *concentrate*. I'm at teh part of random research where I am learning far more about the sexual habits of whales than anyone sane should need to read.
Onyx? *ponders* Hmm.
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