seperis | May. 18th, 2019

When I first found Ask a Manager, I sent it to my manager and Sysadmin V because they're--well, managers. Their response: "So it's Dear Abby for work?"

Which is true, sure, but that's not why I read it. Most of my working life has been in public service, like my mother and grandfather before me, so some parts, like salary negotiation, are utterly alien to me, as it really doesn't happen outside very specific and very rule-oriented circumstances and usually that means executives (aka the governor's appointees of course). Salary, for the most part, is intensely transparent for us--as in, not only do we have strict payscales, all state employees and their salaries are published yearly in the newspaper because public and reasons. So there's a lot of 'so that's how that works in the private world' going on.

But mostly, I read it for the same reason everyone reads advice columns: the drama. If you haven't ever read AMA, a sampling. You're welcome.

In no particular order (links to updates when applicable):

Original Post: The One With the Car Accident and Birdphobia
- Update 1
- Update 2

Original Post: The One With the Guy Who Ghosted His Live In Girlfriend and Now She's His Boss
- Update

Note: satisfying.

Original Post: The One With the Poorly-Conceived Prank and Consequences
- Update

Original Post: The One With the Poorly Conceived Surprise Foot Tickling and Consequences
- Update

( Note )

Original Post: The One With the Manager Who Thinks Beer Runs During Work Are Super Millennial and That's the Least Questionable Behavior As It Turns Out
- Comments: It Gets Worse
- Update 1
- Update 2

Original Post: The One With the Duck Club Except There Are No Ducks and I Pity the Copier
- Update

Original Post: The One With Master Pete and a Poorly Conceived Comparison to Gay Rights (No, Really)
- Update

It must be said, all of these have epic comment sections. And yes, this is an easy way for me to finally bookmark these. Feel free to tell me your faves!

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

May. 18th, 2019

it's saturday and no, I have no intention of doing anything remotely productive

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