seperis | Oct. 7th, 2012

Halloween

Since this feels appropriate for the times:

Creepypasta Survival Guide or, How to Survive If You Find Yourself Trapped in a Creepypasta (some of these may also help for Trapped in Horror Novel, Trapped in Any Episode of Supernatural, Trapped in Horror Movie Unless It Is Hostel Or Saw In Which Case Have Some Hemlock In a Fake Tooth or Something Because You Are Fucked).

Personal Favorites:

8. WHO WAS PHONE is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while kissing a dead persons sexy daughter. A douche is who.

This rule could also be applied to the episode that anyone who watched Queer as Folk season four noted was the pivotal moment in the season where Justin was identified as the guy who was doing the posters, which all could have been avoided if Brian hadn't literally interrupted coitus to answer the door. I mean, I don't know a QaF fan who didn't shout at the TV. You could hear us in space. Like, no. Dude, I don't interrupt reading porn to answer the door, okay? Just, what the hell.

11. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthorized areas. If you couldn’t resist but you saw a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your next visit. Have you ever stayed at a haunted Hilton?

You know, this is going to figure in all my future travel plans.

17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is 100% effective on corporeal forms.

You would think that would be obvious, wouldn't you?

23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.

Will Smith endorses this message.

The lack of useful rules may be the reason, other than the torture-porn, that I hate most horror movies. Half the sheer horror of horror is always the possibility of escape, because there is nothing more torturous than hope. Without hope, it's dismemberment and death and you don't even get goddamn Pinhead to show up and make you uncomfortable with your bdsm tendencies.

Also, if you'll look under Creepy Links in the sidebar, they have links to some of the best horror on the net, including my personal favorite, Dionaea House, Ted's Caving Page if anyone needs to induce a state of claustrophobic psychosis and no elevator is available, and SCP Foundation, though warning, they are ruthlessly removing a lot of variety in horror and weird for a very specific aesthetic in terror and weird, which isn't bad, but for me, it's becoming monotonous like whoa. I suggest if you have any favorites, save them on your hard drive.

Ichor Falls is also a fun place to go, though the activity is low, it has some classics.

I'm still seeing if I have any new fanfic for horror purposes to rec, as opposed to fanfic so bad it could be horror but the author was probably going for romantic. Suggestions are welcome, as always.

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

Oct. 7th, 2012

for your horror survival pleasure

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