this is because i was raised to like kraft macaroni and cheese i think

Okay,, so you wouldn't know this, but when it is not allergy season (four days a year or so) I have working sense of smell that manifests in only smelling unpleasant things. One of those lucky days, I went into Whole Foods for organic coffee and my God wtf was that smell. So now every time I go in there, I remember the smell, which is is indeed organic but also what the hell. It reminds me of Sam's, which was the overwhelming smell of tires, as they had a lot of tires, and I really don't want to relive those charming childhood memories.

This is really the only way I can describe how I cannot go into that store, because no one in the world notices and frankly, in a choice between nose hallucinations and being special, I'm going with special or something. Also, I had that reaction at a All Natural Food Store as well, so maybe I am just against nature. Also, and let me just take a minute, Whole Foods is the snobbiest food ever and fuck off, I am all about support organic and local but some of those cashiers act like it's a criminal offense to like frozen pies, and if I am that desperate for delicious (local, organic) meat I will order from Taylor Meat, which is organic-ish, local, and it's possible I used to play with the cows' ancestors as a child. So you know, it's like eating family if that was a sweet sentiment and not grounds for psychiatric evaluation.

(Taylor meat is the only place I can buy hot dogs from, because they are not mushy and wrapped in a bright red casing (and came from cows I played with as a child, literally). I mean, it was most of my life before I saw hot dogs that were red-casing free and that still freaks me out, like something is wrong with them.)

Note: I love Central Market, but they are hit or miss with some things and apparently are a miss when I'm looking for something specific; also, I go there and buy ten pounds of cheese and ridiculously overpriced coffee and tea and once, a metric ton of water crackers for brie. I love brie. But I ate a lot of brie and crackers that week and that really shouldn't happen again.

(There's nothing that makes me feel so weirdly uncomfortable as wandering around saying "Where is your organic free-trade Sumatran medium roast? No, not the decaf, please," because no matter how often I get it, I never, ever find it the next time, and then add "And the monkey tea?" which is this tea that is actually harvested by carefully trained monkeys in Brazil, and also, I'm a person who is this goddamn specific in how my tea is gathered? It's not even pretentious. It's like, being pretentious about being pretentious. It's embarrassing. And I don't know why I like that tea. Except mixed with my cherry tea, it's really good. And I get these mixed looks of pity like, is she being environmentally friendly but bad at it, which no, it's just I can't read the original packaging on the tea and I really like it and that's all I can remember except it was on the fifth shelf, surprise, they moved it again, why do you do that? I'm really mainstream, actually. I buy vegetables out of season. I like frozen dinners. A lot.)

And they sell blocks of chocolate just--in rough edged blocks, like there's some huge chocolate mountain they're excavating somewhere and I'm always tempted to grab a clerk and threaten them until they tell me where is Chocolate Mountain or actually a range of Chocolate Mountains in Various Darks, Milks, and Whites. It's disastrous. And kind of embarrassing, because it just doesn't look right to wander around nibbling on a block of chocolate. Worth it, though.

I didn't think I'd have to go into my embarrassing food issues to ask this question.

Is there anywhere online that's a good, consistent place for baking goods? I'm mostly looking for vanilla powder and cocoa for baking and hot chocolate purposes (yes, I can get that here, but if I'm buying vanilla powder, might as well expand my range of cocoa experience), but at this point if I'm ordering baking supplies online, might as well go for enough to make it worth the effort. Also, saffron, vanilla bean, and actually no idea otherwise, now I'm getting hungry. I really need to feel less pretentious about food and doing it secretly online where no one will know will make me feel better the next time I buy McDonalds. It's one thing to go and be "I am going to support local and organic farmers for all time and shop here!" and another to sneak in among those awesome people like a poser to get my sumatran coffee fix with Burger King shoved in my purse-like bag. I live in Austin. Even the Republicans are greener than I am. And judge me. I need to think about my self-esteem food issues for a while, I think.

Vanilla powder, right. That. Help?