Jul. 21st, 2008

I knew it was a Monday when I woke up, sure. But do Mondays have to be so...so Mondayish? I mean, it's a cliche--everything is not really supposed to go wrong on Monday! And why my life thinks it's supposed to is a mystery I am sure I will never solve.

And if this program doesn't stop screwing around I will not snap, per se, but I will finally admit I snapped a long, long time ago and stop trying to control homicidal impulses, because really. Sure, jail time, but on the other hand--okay, I don't have another hand for this one.

What I have learned:

1.) Programmers should not be allowed near programs without adequate supervision. Before you look at me like I'm nuts (even though, yeah, there is that), we have yet another improvement to the system that miraculously makes an already confusing method of inquiry even more confusing by changing a nice single page into a series of a million much shorter pages. I wish I could really get across the full extent of the nightmare that has become my life, but imagine trying to read a fic with six words per page, but pretend the word is a case number and you are supposed to sort all the cases by date, but you can't because the cases are now all on different pages and there is no way to sort them. And there are different types of words, or cases, rather, and you just stare at it and then ask your boss for the developer's name and ten minutes in the break room no questions asked.

Why did they think this was a good idea?

2.) I'm freaking serious about the break room. I only need five and a blue pen.

3.) I'd settle for two minutes and anthrax.

4.) This problem is exacerbated by the fact I don't think any of the programmers have any idea of what they are actually writing. Bear with me. They are each given a small module of a much, much, much larger program, and I get the distinct impression they aren't really aware that there is a larger program. They also really do not understand who they are writing for. I used to hear the arguments they'd make against stuff we wanted the program to do that were kind of insane. I mean, insane.

5.) Only one of five can document.

6.) Of those one in five, none of them speak English as a first language (or second, for that matter), so there's a lot of interpretation between technical speak and layman English with a lot of inquiries into if they speak American English or British English, because wow, can that go tragic places fast. It's not even the language barrier--a huge amount of it is the technical language barrier--I don't think many of them really absorbed How To Talk to the Layman About Hideously Complicated Changes That Make No Sense.

7.) This design is still hideous. Inline frames do not make things better.

8.) One minute and ebola. Just one.

*sighs*

I'm hunting up every h/c dS fic I have read, create a list, and re-read it all when I get home. Maybe SGA too. Something with Rodney and a crushed hand, maybe.

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  • If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
    . -- Unknown, on feedback
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  • That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
    Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
    -- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
    LJ
  • Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
    -- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
    LJ
  • Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
    Jenn: Because you are an addict.
    Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
    Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
    Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
    Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
    -- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
    AIM, 12/24/2003
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    -- anonymous, on terrible writing
    AIM, 2/17/2004
  • In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
    -- silverkyst, on wtf
    AIM, 3/25/2004
  • Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
    Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
    -- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
    LJ, 4/2/2004
  • silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
    silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
    silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
    Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
    -- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
    AIM, 1/25/2005
  • You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
    -- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
    LJ, 3/15/2005
  • Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
    -- Summerfling, on shower sex
    LJ, 7/22/2005
  • It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
    -- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
    LJ, 2/7/2006
  • Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
    -- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
    LJ, 4/13/2006
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    -- deadlychameleon, on class
    LJ, 9/1/2007
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    -- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
    Twitter
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    -- Jenn, traceback
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