navel gazing

I think it awes me a little that I'm at thirty-five thousand words and kind of don't ever want to stop writing this story. It's too--fun. I mean, in a weird, this is causing me to overthink things and ask svmadelyn to look up hotels that have large lobbies and what kind of explosives would the military use if they wanted to seriously vaporize something, type of way.

It also reminds me--frequently--that stopping is always the thing you simply *don't do*. Evne if it starts looking stupid. Even if you suddenly think, God, this is *ridiculous*. Momentum carries it a lot better than I remember it doing, but it's been a really long time since I worked something lengthwise--I think Exclusion put me in the right spot to remember how to do it, reminded me I loved a slower build, a slow development, that this is where I've always loved to be.

It's all new again--thinking through various plotlines, setting up things in teh beginning I need to slowly resolve toward the ending, points of reference I didnt' know why I was creating in the first place but knew I'd need later. Leaving tiny openings I'll exploit when I needed them. It's weird, like getting on a bicycle again after too long away--it's clumsy and I'm less subtle and more with the hammer to the head, I'm paring down things that need more length and skipping things that probably need a better explanation, and having to relearn how to pace, but--it's *fun*. It reminds me why I like plot and why I like to play with it, and it reminds me I've missed this even if I didn't know I did. IT reminds me, weirdly, of when I was in Trek and working on Seven Days, and I was like, *high* during most of it, working it between classes and tracing out differnet possibilities on a paper copy I'd take to class with me.

In other words, I'm in a good mood. Happy.