seperis | Aug. 15th, 2005

Fat Free

To preface: if you are a fat-free milk, or fat-free anything person, go you! You are healthier than I am. And also have very, very different taste buds. I mean this in the spirit of tolerance and love for my fellow man.

Who. Keeps. Buying. The. Fat. Free. Milk?

Okay, I have hit my ceiling for understanding those who live with me, live near me, or in some capacity feed me. This includes restaurants that keep offering me *fat free blackberry pie* and *fat free cheesecake* and God help us all and every one, *fat free chocolate*, because that's like going up to a rancher and expecting no steaks on the grill. I am that person. I am in the fat-food zone.

Just--it's *white water*, not milk. Once, someone tried to trick me by putting the fat free milk in a whole milk container. I KNEW! And I always know. I know when my cheese is low calorie, I know when my milk is sucked of all fatty goodness and by God and every saint in the catalogue, this has got to stop now. I now navigate my favorite food aisle of all, teh frozen dinners, surrounded by Lean Cuisines that get like, fifty lockers, and yesterday, my son expressed a desire for fat free frozen yogurt. (and how the hell do you spell that?)

The betrayal is *breathtaking*.

I'm going to have to farm my own fat, aren't I? I'll be the last one, buying up the last of the high calorie mayonaisse and raising my own sad little cows and they keep *giving me fat-free chicken breasts* and I feel like this is some kind of really bad movie where everyone si trying to lower my cholesterol and blood pressure and make me healthy and I dn't *want* to be, by God. And for that matter, my blood pressure is low enough, thank you, and if it wasn't, well, I'll trade my blood pressure for whole milk, whipped cream, and fully-sugared, fully-buttered, covered in vanilla bean ice cream chocolate brownies, and I DON'T CARE.

As you can see, this hasnt' been one of my better food days.

Oh, look, Atlantis fic! *points*

*****

The Gun Thing by

out_there - because some people still love me and write me kinky fic, and I'm all, ooh, because *pretty weapons* and *pretty John* and these things go together very much. Yes. Happy. Read now.

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

Aug. 15th, 2005

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