seperis | Sep. 7th, 2003

I am SO the Man.

Macho. That is me. Me me me. I, singlehandedly and with minimal intsructions, have in fact, installed a doorknob on my bedroom door ON MY OWN.

I PICKED that sucker out of Wal-Mart, brought it home, got myself some screwdrivers and hammers and nails, a Sausalito cookie, made coffee, and settled myself to make that door bow.

This is how to do it.

One--skim the instructions, because those are for Lesser Mortals that aren't me. You know, like a guy would do.

Two--stare blankly at curiously shaped pieces of metal that eventually assemble into something like a doorknob.

Three--realize screwing directly into whatever that door is made out of is masochistic. Take thin nail from wall, put in place, hammer in. Admires ability to hammer. Tries to pull nail out. Fails. Tries again. Fails. Gets back of hammer on the job. Hammer wins--I mean, jenn wins! Yay!

Four--screw plates on with cleverly discovered powertool. Feel like hair may be growing on chest. Make note to wax.

Five--realize interior gizmo should go on first.

Six--unscrew plates, put in gizmo.

Seven--screw plates in. Do caveman dance.

Eight--put in doorknob. Twist a few times for fun. Watch it fall into two pieces. Mull the pieces. Pick them up.

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve--fight screws on doorknob. Emerge victorious. Caper and hijink.

Thirteen--wall plate. Will so not go in.

Fourteen--still not

Fifteen--and still not.

Sixteen--mostly there.

Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen--struggle with screws.

Twenty--told that powerdrill is out of battery. Wait for it to charge.

Twenty-one--kidnap other person to finish screwing in thing on doorway with weird, rubber grip screwdriver, because again, not so much the masochist to do it myself. Cut more capers. Lots of them.

I feel this insane urge to drink beer, belch, and yell at the television showing some major league sporting event. Perhaps spit as well. I should spit. I should so totally spit.

Okay, that's just gross.

Bought egrerious Halloween decorations. I'm such a consumer. Bought child project stuff. Salsalito cookies. Hair care products. Going to make skirt. I think. Or at least help. Just to see if I can.

I am SO feeling it today, people.

Other Cool Things

oxoniensis has started a new community for the discussion of Smallville fanfiction at

svroundtable. This sounds very interesting.

The Treasury

For those who wonder if we forgot, we didn't. Working three of the last five or six Saturdays has drained the hell out of me along with the overtime, and I know Celli and Tara found themselves uberly short of time over the last month because of school and work. Anyway, I've finished my first draft counting and am rechecking over the next few of days when I have time, since with any kind of luck I'll be home on time for at least a couple of days.

Mulling

( on the handouts from yesterday )

Er...see, I started with a *doorknob*. Jeez, I need to go out more.

Fanfiction

QaFicness goes slowly, slowly, slowly, but at least it's moving, which is more than I can say about anything else right now. I'm not sure how it happened that it just hit forty something pages, because the plot wasn't supposed to do that, but then again, it never does. I really need to commit to being a novelist.

*shudders* That word again.

Okay, skirt to make. Let's see if this is possible.

Quotes

If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
. -- Unknown, on feedback
BTS List
That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
-- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
AIM, 3/25/2004
Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
Twitter, 6/19/2019
Adding for Mastodon.
-- Jenn, traceback
Fosstodon, 11/6/2022

Sep. 7th, 2003

svfic: looking-glass, 5 (WAS all sorts of things and Clexbrothersfic)

feeling very manly today

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