where did you get crabs?

You have crabs?

See, this is a question, no matter where you are, that just will never, ever sound good. Even at the beach. Even when you're holding a box of said crabs, bought for Child because, apparently, these are lower maintenance pets than the average rock.

"Honey, did you pick up your crabs over there?"

"Hey, where did you get crabs?"

"I want crabs, mommy!"

Jesus. I haven't blushed like that for years.

Yeah, this is what I remember from vacation. Not my conspicuous consumism or the fact I managed to sunburn my back, not a highly, highly overpriced bathing suit, a sudden double period, the three kind of scary guys that tried to pick me up--literally, I was taking a walk with child--in the middle of a fucking street, and not THREE DAYS with a two year old, a four year old and a six year old or the nice horse that decided to test my riding abilities every few minutes.

No, I remember the various ways that question was shouted and asked and remember thinking, dear God, this sounds so very bad.

The Edible Version

I had snowcrab.

You've read my LJ, you know what i consider food. One crustacean makes hte list, lobster. Crabs are being added, only because I didn't get sick eating them. I don't know how I actually feel about them yet.

By rights, I should love them. I love things that make me work for them. And those fucking crabs required me pounding away with a knife at the shell to get at miniscule bits of meat trapped inside, and damned if I didn't burn off more calories getting to them than actually eating them.

But--they look like giant, split spiders.

Seriously. It was disturbing. Floating in the water, half a spider, all--moving and stuff. I can't decide if I like them. I'm just relieved I managed to EAT any of them. Very rich, I'll give you that.

Other Stuff

Spent far, far too much money. Bought four *FOUR* hermit crabs, as they are The Pet of the YEar, along with insturctions to care for them, extra shells for when they grow, and I have no idea how this happened.

My son has HERMIT CRABS.

And doesn't it sound a lot less disturbing with that descriptor?

Anyway. Backlog of email I'm scared to look at. Bemused to see at least four debates I thought were dead are back and alive and kicking again, and my face isn't sunburned (possibly due to the fact I sunblocked every five minutes) and God, I am tired.

Isn't vacation supposed to be, you know, RELAXING?

If anything interesting happened, point the way, 'kay? There's no way in hell I'm going to make it through a quarter of what's in my To Read Box before next month.

Going to go soothe my nerves with my QaF tapes.

Comments

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

::is amused::

We live on a bay, so my sister and I go out looking for crabs. Mostly kelp crabs, since they're the rarest. And lots of hermit crabs, which I end up talking to...um.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*grins* Hermit crabs are, I swear, movign rocks. Just watching them puts me to sleep. Yet Child is endlessly entertained. It's very odd.

Waht are kelp crabs? As apparently, crabs have been added to my Will Eat, I Think list of foodstuffs.

[transtempts.livejournal.com]

Kelp crabs are green, slow moving crabs. They have long legs, and frequent kelp. They're pretty large, but can be handled safely as they are calm. I must add that, as my sister puts it 'they have pointy noses.'

[gem225.livejournal.com]

Going to go soothe my nerves with my QaF tapes.

You don't know how happy it makes me to hear that those make you happy. :-D Welcome back, and I'm glad that you didn't get sunburned.

I hope that your son enjoys his hermit crabs.

Gail

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you, hon.

And yes, he's enjoying his moving rocks.

Crreeepppy little buggers.

[fyrdrakken]

My sister got a hermit crab when I was in high school. It periodically used to escape its tank, freaking Mom out the time she found it crawling in her bedroom. (Though really, Mom should have appreciated the practice in dealing with my sister's pets when Lauren got a snake years later that had the same escape artist tendencies.) It died when Lauren went on a week-long trip and Mom forgot to take care of it -- apparently dried up from lack of water or whatever.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

*laughs* they're so small, they can't freak me out too much. Just--those legs appearing suddenly from under the shell. So very odd.

Poor crab. *pets dead crabs*

Snakes? Won't even GO there. *shivers*

[fyrdrakken]

Of course, her snake died when she bought it a "boyfriend" that turned out to have a respiratory infection. But she just got a new one Friday...

[xoverau.livejournal.com]

My son has HERMIT CRABS.

And doesn't it sound a lot less disturbing with that descriptor?

Um, no. Because it makes them sound like some kind of mutant variety of STD that hangs out like herpes for ten years and then appears on your lover's genitalia.

Not like, y'know, your son has hermit crabs or anything.

[seperis.livejournal.com]

I wonder about the hcaracteristics of this kind of STD. Like, crabs that have no where else to go? Crabs rejected from all other bodies and have to settle with yours?

Like--loser crabs.

*intrigued8

I'm giving this WAY too much thought. *grins*

[xoverau.livejournal.com]

Schizophrenic crabs who don't take their medication? Crabs who were driven out of their government jobs by restructuring? Crabs who were moved by the teachings of Ginsberg? Crabs who believe that the world will end at the return of Halley's Comet?

[quecojones.livejournal.com]

Having crabs is just... something you're not supposed to talk about. ;)

Got a tan? Show it off, let's see some pictures. :)