pride and prejudice and zombies: living the dream

No period romance watching is ever complete until you watch Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Is it a masterpiece of cinema? Groundbreaking in reinterpreting the role of women in nineteenth century Britain? A fascinating dip into the culture and psychology of Regency-era zombies? Perhaps the greatest piece of media ever created on earth?

My opinion is yes; if you think otherwise, you're wrong. You're very wrong and must be put right one way or another by God.

If you're on the fence, though why I have no idea, but here's why you need to watch:

1.) Zombie/Bennet Sisters throwdown at a local dance. Bennet Sisters win.
2.) Darcy wanders around in a leather trenchcoat because God loves me.
3.) Wickham is actually hot for once. Evil, sure, and wearing suede, but still.
4.) Bingley is ungodly hot. Like, unreal hot. He combines that with still being goofy and finding Elizabeth hilarious.

Okay, lets talk about Bingley.

I can't believe I'm saying this: he's probably the best Bingley we've had. Much like Jane, Bingley is always cast as less hot than Darcy when canonically, not so much. Also, in general, Bingley and Charlotte get their screentime butchered in movies. This is about the same amount of Bingley in two hours than we got in five and change hours of Pride and Prejudice 1995. Sometimes, he's also mussed and dirty in the zombie battle fields.

(I seriously can't get over how almost terrifyingly attractive the actor is. Note: make him Edmund Bertram, and yeah, you get why Mary Crawford put up with his judginess and consider it a small price to pay. I'd overlook a growing collection of fresh bodies in the basement and an altar to Cthulhu in the living room. He gets dirty, I wouldn't question why our neighbors are disappearing in such alarming numbers.)

Bingley is hilarious. He's still goofy and overawed by Darcy In A Leather Trenchcoat Bless Whoever Decided That, but he's not above watching someone fuck with him on a professional level. And while I think he would have fallen in love with Jane no matter what, the process was probably sped up by the realization that if he married Jane, Elizabeth would probably come with her and he'd start living his best fucking life. Like someone else wrote (I cannot find where), he's super into a future where he marries the love of his life and gets twenty-four seven front-row viewing of Elizabeth mock the fuck out of Darcy, his sisters, his brother in law, and anyone who gets on her nerves. This is a man who didn't even have to understand Chinese to know a burn when he heard one and knows it was good.

5.) Zombie-fighting power couples Jane/Bingley and Elizabeth/Darcy on the field of battle.
6.) Darcy dramatically goes swimming in (random?) lake due to post-Elizabeth angst because that's canon now I guess?
7.) Darcy practices swordfighting alone, in the rain, at night, because he's on a mission to out-drama Darcy 1995 when it comes to Elizabeth angst. And yeah, he wins.
8.) Lady Catherine de Borough causes us all to question our sexuality and also realize how ungodly hot eyepatches are. Also, that outfit with all the buttons, holy shit.
9.) Realizing you really can combine your love of fancy dress and armed combat with visual instruction on exactly where to put your weapons.
10.) Bingley and Jane's reunion when she saves him as zombies explode behind them is like Disney but after a healthy dose of PCP was given to the writers.
11.) EPIC WICKHAM DARCY SWORDFIGHT.


I rest my case.