weird world problems

So my problem is: my nails are growing too much.

Yeah, that looks just as crazy as it sounded in my head, but it's true and it's weird.

I have never in my life had fast growing hair and nails: I also bite my nails. Pregnancy and about six months after is the only exception. However, two things have changed.

1.) I started taking a multivitamin
2.) I successfully--almost by accident--stopped biting my nails.

I'm gonna say (2) is a huge factor and frankly, you can't get back in that kind of habit once you start, as I tried the first time I realized I was missing keys when typing due to Nails. I hate it. But I own literally no things for nails but a battery powered nail buffer/file thing I used without batteries to quickly file down edges or something. Yeah, I went through a manicure phase a few years ago, but it didn't stick.

Now, why is this a problem, other than I lack the basic skills of a ten year old for nail care? It's affecting my keyboard use. Like, this is a hard no never wtf. I've had to borrow--BORROW--nail clippers twice to stop nail-tripping on the keys and yes, I need to buy some on the first but how is this my life? I used to want long nails when I was younger because everyone's hands looked so good and mine not so much and I was wrong. This is bullshit; I had null characters in my code and weird ass misspellings in a fic that are not in my autocorrect list due to my left hand being slightly faster than my right when typing (no, really). Worse, much worse, I couldn't feel the keyboard with three fingers due to asshole nails and that was like, IDEK, creepy: left middle and right middle and fourth, no keyboard feel but (sometimes wrong) letters appeared on the screen like a hex was involved.

I really needed to vent that; you'd be surprised how many people just don't understand.

Comments

[conuly]

If you don't have nail clippers already you'll want to start clipping your toenails as well or they'll rip your socks.

[libitina]

My favorite fingernail cutting tool is the tiniest size swiss army knife (the one with a blade, a flathead screwdriver (and file), and scissors).

In pulling up that link, I found that it now can come with a nail clipper, but I am skeptical.

My favorite tool for toenail cutting is the mini leatherman

[niqaeli]

I'm a massage therapist, I literally cannot have long nails and do my job. I also have to not bite my nails, not so much because of the nails but because I will also bite my cuticles and I can't allow THAT to be shredded because open wounds are not a good thing on a massage therapist. So I have to cut my nails once a week, generally. I can sometimes skate by as much as two, but I'm generally pushing it pretty hard at that point.

IT IS THE FUCKING WORST.

And people never understand! Why this is a problem!

In summary, I feel you so goddamned hard.

[twistedchick]

I don't know if they're called emory files or what these days -- but they're not those papery emory boards. They're metal, they have diamond or sapphire dust on them, they look like nail files but don't have the cross-hatching, and they're the best thing for dealing with my very tough nails.

For cutting toenails, I use small but sturdy nail scissors, and do it either in the bathtub or immediately after a shower.

And yeah, it matters. I can't play fiddle or guitar if my nails are too long.

[laurajv]

Look, I do not bite my nails, but I do keep them trimmed very short and very neat, just like a perfect 1/16” half-circle of pale beyond the quick. A good pair of large curved clippers (the size of toenail clippers, but curved instead of straight) are really all you need. Replace or sharpen annually. They’re about $2.

[out_there]

I don't like long nails -- I don't like the look on other people, but I also absolutely hate the feel of them for typing. I tend to just go the nail clippers route and keep my nails short enough that when I touch-type, I feel the keys under the skin of my fingertips, not the nails.

(But girls who have super long nails have said that typing with them is a skill and it's once you learn it, trying to type without long nails leads to Typo City.)

[grammarwoman]

I have subpar nails that rip/chip/split before they get long, but occasionally one gets out of hand, like my left pinkie, and interferes with shift-key operations. So yup, I understand.

[lilacsigil]

I've always had very short nails (for cello) and more recently they've been bendy and breaky so never made it to annoying length, but on the few occasions they have, they've been so annoying for the keyboard! But my sister-in-law has long acrylics and can type with them much faster than I can, so I guess it's what you're used to.

[timespirt]

"HUGS"

I so understand the need to vent.

[amalthia]

My nails grow quickly too and yes it's annoying trying to type once your nails reach a certain length! :( I'm not the best at filing them either. Basically, I feel your pain.

[sgac]

I'm an ex-nail biter too. I have to keep my nails nice and neat or I risk backsliding, because any rough or irregular bits just scream BITE ME! So there's nail clippers and nail files in literally every room of the house.

[azurelunatic]

Not being able to feel things is terrible! And then I bang them on things!

I have a pair of perfect desk size scissors where the blades are thin at the meeting edge and I cut them with those. I somehow hold them backwards when cutting the nails on one of my hands. I'm not quite sure how it works

[nic]

I've always had long nails... and I both played piano and type "flat fingered". But if I accidentally have a short nail, or several, it feels so wrong!

[cathyw]

arggggh.

I feel this. I used to have very nice nails. I used to have the ability to type with long nails. But as I've aged my nails have acquired all kinds of weird bends and twists as they grow out, in some cases right past the fingertip, and they're also really prone to breaking, so I keep them trimmed.

I can tell when it's time to trim them because I start getting annoyed with them as I type.

I'm there

[annezo]

I used to wear my nails long, mostly because I have very strong nails and it was easy to do. BUT! They did play havoc with my typing--all those extra characters and wrong characters. So I've been trying to keep them short.

Mine grow quickly and 2 weeks is about as long as I can ignore them before they start getting in the way.