scheherazade the phone

Oh, I forgot; I've had a major relationship change in my life this month.

Due to circumstances beyond my control (because my sister took my soldering kit due to an unfortunate fire-related incident with a motherboard and a kitchen table and fire alarms), I had to get a new cell phone. My phone began to experience charging issues in Octoberish, but in May it stopped charging altogether except wirelessly, and as it was a Galaxy S6 Edge+, you can imagine how long that took.

I'd like to ask for a moment of contemplation of technology for Dean, the phone that saw me through many troubled moments and so fucking much Pokemon Go.

Okay, done.

My new life companion is Scheherazade, a Galaxy S10+ in blue.

Also, I have discovered some neat things after two weeks about this phone.

1.) My new phone does not get uncomfortably hot to the touch while using and emit a faint metal smell like a freshly cut jugular.
2.) When the battery indicator says its 100%, it actually is and five minutes later doesn't randomly show 5% and turn off. Then when turned on says it's at 40% and making me doubt my understanding of how numbers work.
3.) It can be charged while still on, instead of having to turn it off first and praying over it. Nothing fancy, just some Revelations-based entreaties for mercy.
4.) As it turns out, I didn't dream that you can reliably charge with USB and not just wirelessly and hopelessly while drinking four dollar bottles of Sangria from the nearby convenience store.
5.) Chrome doesn't open and close at random like ghosts are reading and judging my porn Washington Post articles about rainforests and...whales being saved from something probably terrible.
6.) Apps open when you touch them, not in their own (justified, I'm sure) good time when they feel like it and you understand and don't complain because otherwise, they might get angry and living in constant fear for your life (sanity, too, sure) just isn't all it's cracked up to be.
7.) I can turn it on and off with the appropriate button, not using Button Savior for touch controls. You really don't appreciate an on/off button that works until it never, ever, ever does again no matter how much you beg and how many offerings you make to [redacted]. I can still hear their screaming when I don't wear noise-canceling headphones.
8.) The home key doesn't exist anymore and therefore I am never unduly startled with Google randomly opening and closing eight or fifty times in a row. During Pokemon Go. While trying to catch fucking Larios.

So--I'm thinking I was probably about two weeks from being literally set on fire due to my phone exploding while I was hunting Pokemon or--not outside the realm of possibility--accidentally selling my soul to a god I can't pronounce because vowels are for the weak so I could finish my goddamn week challenge and get a Sinnoh Stone to do some recreational poke evolving.

Scheherazade is awesome and Dean may have been trying to kill me. There's a lesson here, but the most important thing is--I GOT MY SINNOH STONE!!!!

Comments

[silverflight8]

lol. I also recently made the transition from a galaxy 6 edge and while i didn't have battery charge issues, I also didn't have any updates since 2016 (stupid network locking - unlocked phone, my FOOT) it's been a pretty positive experience. except the aforementioned home key. I kinda wish I still had ONE physical key still. Also I didn't figure out where I could hold the phone for ages. I've settled for around the side edges.

[jesse_the_k]

Popsockets are the best.

[seperis]

Can't lie, my thumb keeps trying to find the physical key. I don't mind too much--mine would literally get hit by a single drop of water and go crazy until it dried out--but it's an adjustment.

[silverflight8]

That does not sound like a great reaction to a drop of water, lol.

The other major adjustment was - because I went to a Pixel - getting used to the back button being on the left, swiping up for "list of open apps". I still don't understand why Samsung chose to make "go back" be on the right, though obviously I adjusted, lol.

[neonhummingbird]

Are we related? Because this litany sounds exactly like a member of my family (me included) protesting that no, I don't need a new expensive thing, the old expensive thing works Just Fine, all this stuff that doesn't work is no big deal, I know how to deal with it, it's fine...

:) Congrats on new technology that works. May Scheherazade tell many stories.

[seperis]

Thisssss. The weird thing is, you would think this would extend to my laptops, but no, I replace mine every two or three years and farm the old one out to family members if needed to keep up with tech progress. Yet phones--that actually evolve much much faster--I cling to. The only reason I even got the six four years ago was after my four broke and I'd gone happily back to my old three--A GALAXY III--but it couldn't handle anything. I still have the III. For emergencies.

(Somewhere I still cling to my Galaxy I. It's in a box. The 6 I had to trade in to get the discount for the new one, and no lie, it bothered me. I literally have a box of mine, my son's, and random family members old cell phones just--you know, so each has the company of the others.)

[banshee1013]

Awesome! New phones are always exciting. I have a Galaxy Note 8 that I've been reluctant to upgrade because I have it right where I want it - and I'm super cheap :D

Anyway, if you want a new Poke Friend, here's my code:
5278 3789 3631

:)

[out_there]

Yay for the amazing convenience of a phone that works like it should. It's always amazing to realise how many odd behaviour work arounds you got used to doing.

[seperis]

This. Also, tiny black spots on the screen, like it picked up the pox or something? Didn't even notice anymore.

[lemon_badgeress]

wow this post went places XD

congratulations on your new lifepartner *thumbs up*

[olanthanide]

Still lol'ing at the fact that your old phone is named DEAN and acting like it needs an exorcism in the worst way. Clearly there was a transition to demon Dean at some point.

[seperis]

The sad part is if I was a character in a TV series, the entire audience would have been shouting at me for months that my phone was evil. If this were TV, it would have finally killed me the day the new phone arrived.

[olanthanide]

Your episode's background theme is probably this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYpO6M-LyY8

But played in minor key on a creepy echo-y musicbox sound-alike. Or possibly by whistling, like that KILL BILL scene. (I discovered recently that one of my co-workers has that whistle as one of her ring tones and having THAT go off randomly when you're alone in the office is An Experience.)

[harpers_child]

Fist bump of solidarity? I had to get a new phone recently (last Tuesday) and also got a galaxy 10e in blue.

[seperis]

*phone fist-bump* BLUE. I even got a clear phone case this time so for once, I can see the color of my phone.

[jesse_the_k]

Congratulations on evolving to a new platform.

[grammarwoman]

Sinnoh stones are such a tease - I would battle my son's account and he'd get them, win or lose, and I'd get freaking stardust. Argh.

Huzzah for new phone!