things that go right

So last week and this weekend were--terrible, to be honest. Mostly the weekend, actually; the week was fine, but an emergency release went out at work and I was validating one portion when they brought up the system (there was a PDF of the entire nightmare) and when my time came (late, I expected) it failed (that, we didn't).

Finally by Monday it was up, but working Saturday and Sunday even from home is just freaking stressful when it's something like this. And I do take it personally; it's like, why, app, do you hate me? I may or may not have said that out loud over several days until Monday, when the failure fixed itself (no one can figure out what the hell; we just go with it).

Three things made this weekend and week not suck balls:
1.) downtoagincourt - there is a tumblr about my fic series! FUCK YES I READ IT ALL LIKE FORTY TIMES AND FAVORITED EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. Also, an amazing review here by bert-and-ernie-are-gay that I indeed do re-read. Like a lot.

I have no idea about the etiquette of reblogging really literate (more literate than the series, to be honest) reviews of your fic. Can you do that?

2.) Two tumblr uses liveblogged some of their reactions while reading. This is one of them.

Fireintheimpala here:

Gah, nonstop agony thanks to Down to Agincourt…maybe I should live blog my read of it for cathartic release…

*ahem*

Day 1,231: the destiel glacier is reported to have advanced 1.52 millimeters in the south. Scientists are being dispatched to test for possible measurement errors.

Day 3,456: the scientist have returned and bring with them exciting reports of moderate precipitation! Will this add to the mass of the glacier? Stay tuned.

Day 7,278: tragic news from the glacial front: a scientist has been killed! Though the surface of the glacier is by all measurable accounts benign–inert even!–inexplicable emissions of angst have increased. Eruption danger: Orange.

And here:

Down to Agincourt update.

Day 10,000 or so: I should have taken a break for smut, fluff, or single chapter episode codas 3,000 days ago. Now it’s too late. Now I can’t imagine these characters progressing to any sort of self awareness for at least, oh, 50 more years.

It's funny because it's true.

3.) I bought six inch heels and learned to walk in them.

My Relationship With Heels

I'm a switcher; I go through phases of wanting nothing but ballet flats or low mary sues, with various exceptions in various heels; my work encouraged it, especially when I was at the ombudsman's office where no denim allowed at all and business casual was barely casual. When I became a QC Analyst, however, the dress code was "not naked" and never again having only one pair of jeans because all my clothes income was for button ups, slacks, and skirts. Generally I devote myself to Black Widow and Batman t-shirts, hoodies, jeans, and semi-regular showering (and flats, comfy ones). I'm QC; there are very low expectations in our dress sense. Then I got a promotion (WHEE ME), and for no reason (I can't explain this), I kind of went crazy and bought dresses and tops to wear with jeans (or tights) and dragged out all my heeled sandals to gloat over (I. Don't. Know. But I now own five dresses, three pairs of skinny jeans (one glittery: GLITTERY) and two very pretty new work-appropriate sleeveless tops and adorable cardigan sweaters to wear with them.)

Which leads to the next part.

Last year, I decided to start training myself up again with heels without ending up with feet that will hate me all my life due to the purchase of a three and a half inch pair of kick-ass sandals that were viciously on sale (chunky heel, utterly gorgeous), a pair of wedges, and a cruel Fry's sale on adorable brown suede sandals. The chunky three and a half inch sandals took work, but seriously, they're adorable and had decent ankle support, and successfully did not die in them.

Last month, I saw a pair of stiletto booties and said "I'm getting me some of that."

And I also said, "And not kill myself wearing them." That part is important.

Luichiny Women's Hi N Low Boot, Size 10. Two inch platform, four inch shaft, so effective four inch elevation for my heel. They also look fucking amazing, not gonna lie, but they are not walking out clubbing shoes (my sandals, oddly enough, are).

Here's the thing; they are also my first real experience (other than at Vividcon) wearing stiletto heels and not chuck or wedges (and then I was also drunk, they were thigh-high boots, and Vividcon means miracles occurred when I jogged up and down the stairs).

Balance wasn't a problem--I'd been wearing my sandals once a week for a month to get used to the shift in my center of balance, fix my posture, and automatically align myself on top of my heels instead of the balls of my feet--but learning to walk was very new. Chunk, even with sandals, do generally allow a lot of leeway as long as my posture is correct; stilettos, I found, require perfect or nothing.

(Chunk with no platform also (gently) trained me out of one problem I have due to being a sprinter in high school and never getting over it; my weight when walking in shoes at all unless I'm thinking about it comes down on the outer ball of my foot, not the inner, around the fourth and fifth toe, and my heel doesn't come down often (almost never) when I'm walking fast, which I usually do. In flats and barefoot I still do it (and can afford to), but when I hit about two inches in a heel or any boot, I have to adjust and that takes practice to remember to do before killing myself. I still have to think about it when walking or yes, I will topple over like the saddest bowling pin in history and die or something.)

The nice thing with these boots is, they fit close; if you're not exactly a nine and a half (low end) or ten, though, the 10 will not fit (go to 11). I had to wear trouser socks to get my feet in and adjust, but they were literally a perfect fit, skin close but not painful or pinching other than foot adjustment time while walking until they shaped to the balls of my feet correctly. They also have fantastic ankle support, which I didn't realize would be so important but should have, since the entire strength of walking in them was keeping my ankle straight (and not trying to go up on my toes; it's almost impossible at this height, which helps).

After checking numerous websites on walking in heels, and trying many things to help the process of not dying (while being six fucking three in those things and gleefully staring over everyone's heads at work because I can do that), here is what I learned.

1.) Leaning backward does help like a lot. Centering my entire weight on my heel isn't really enough; without the backward lean, I pitched forward.

2.) Wearing them improves my posture one hundred thousand percent just on the strength of not wanting to topple over. Not just a straight back either; shoulders back, head up, stomach in, chest up, and I can feel the second I go out of alignment and fix it (because otherwise, death by heels).

This actually bleeds over to when I don't wear heels; I'm a slumper and sloucher and training myself out of that is almost impossible without sufficient motivation (ie, death by heels). The last two months have definitely helped in that much; I've noticed I don't slouch automatically (now it's by preference, really), and more importantly, I am aware of when my posture is bad because I know how it feels when it's good.

3.) Walking and staying alive I've mastered, but walking gracefully is still hit or miss and I usually stumble (sometimes literally) into doing it right (ie, the sweet spot). It's harder than I thought, but once I hit it, I'm fine for the rest of the day. I know it's a matter of how I'm shifting my center of balance and weight to the ball of my foot and using the heel only for balance, but it's not something I can do consciously yet. It's not a stride issue, either; long or short, something clicks and boom, I have the walk. Or it doesn't and I'm just terrifyingly tall and no one can stand against me. No one.

4.) Everything is much lower when one is six-three (I love those shoes), including people. I will not say that made me mad with power, but I won't deny it, either.

Comments

[out_there]

As much as those heels look sexy as hell (and they do, definitely) I've settled into being a flats girl (or in winter, a 1" heeled boots girl, which is virtually flat anyway). My heels are kitten heels of 2" or wedges of 2.5", but these days they only get worn out for special occasions, so it's a handful of times a year.

It's not that I have anything against flats. It's just that sad realization that you've totally stopped bothering to even try wearing sexy shoes and have instead settled for cute and practical. Honestly, that says so much about my life in general.

Then I remember my life comes with chocolate and fandom and puppies, so there are upsides too.

[seperis]

Cute and practical are awesome. I found the most adorable Mary Janes by hushpuppy that I swear by; no breaking in period and super comfortable flats. Those and my Sketchers and my ballet flats are my standard wear still; the last thing I want is foot problems from doing this.

[out_there]

the last thing I want is foot problems from doing this.

Very good point. Sexy shoes are not worth foot troubles.

[minim_calibre]

I can wear, comfortably, a max of 4" heels. I can, uncomfortably, and with deep regret, wear 120mm heels. (Note: will this stop me, if the right pair of 120mm heels were available at a steal, from wearing them: no.)

Having short feet makes it harder to do heels, which annoys me, but I love them and am willing to suffer.

[seperis]

Over four inches, it does take training up to it, but the amount of time it takes varies and yeah, is only really worth it for the most awesome shoes. I'm not sure it'd be worth it without it being boots for me; the ankle support really does make a huge difference and keeps my foot firmly and totally inside the shoe from ankle to toe. I've liked several sandals and slingbacks I saw, but being hyperaware of my feet all the time would be necessary with those.

Example: pair of sandals I own that are only three I can and have tripped badly because I wasn't thinking when I stood up and my foot heel slid off the shoe heel and the strap simply wasn't enough for the shoe (and therefore my foot with it) not to turn sideways. I was just lucky I was near a cubicle wall and coudl catch myself but Christ, that hurt.

[minim_calibre]

My worst tripping incident involved sandals with maybe an inch and a half of rise. It's all in the shoe design.

I had to get rid of a pair of 4" shoes that were just unwearable, even though they had a chunky heel and were shorter than my 120s.

I wear 4" all the time in the winter,then spend all summer in flat flip flops and have to train back up.

[synecdochic]

re: clothes, do you know about eshakti? Don't know if they have anything that's your style, but they are SUPER well made and ALL THEIR DRESSES HAVE POCKETS. Well, all the ones I've looked at so far, at least. Sarah got her first order this week and she's loving them all. (They're also, which is why I mention them, super easy to customize; you can order them in different heights, for instance.)

[seperis]

And bookmarked! VERY nice, thank you!

[synecdochic]

\o/ Glad to be of service!

[everbright]

YES!!! Being tall is the best part of wearing heels. It feels so powerful!

[seperis]

God yes. *bounces*

[grammarwoman]

Ooo! Those are some tall shoes! My ankles are twinging just looking at those. (I don't know what I did to them, but if I try on shoes like those, my ankles tell me "OH HELL NO" on the first step.)

So, I gotta ask: have you perfected the Charlize Theron murder face walk? :)

[seperis]

The ankle support really is fantastic; I'm not kidding about how close these fit. My foot was even a fraction bigger any direction, i couldn't wear them, but the sweet spot means my ankle is effectively unable to turn under me and the shoe fits closely enough that my foot doesn't slide inside the shoe at all.

My biggest issue is the stiletto; I'm used to chunk heels, so I really do have to change how I walk while wearing them and keep very, very good posture to lower the risk (and watch for small objects on teh ground like whoa). It's very difficult to remember to shift my weight only after the heel is down so the ball of my foot takes it all; once I do it once, I'm fine for the rest of the day, but it's not something I can do entirely on purpose yet, more just keep walking until I hit the zone.

[nagasvoice]

This is really interesting, I hadn't realized that it was very good body carriage invoked by the higher heels. Many moons ago I used to have a pair of cheap Italian slings with 3" heels that fit my feet reasonably well (I hadn't experienced a really good fit in anything remotely girly before that, and rarely since). The languid swagger they brought on had to be lived up to. It was languid partly because they required much greater precision than usual.

[seperis]

That's a good term for it--languid swagger. It's nice once you get it right too, and for me, it's easy to maintain, but agian for me, ti's very much my entire body has to click into it to get it right.

[45rpm]

Wow.

[fyrdrakken]

I'm charmed by the way you're enjoying your new position as an excuse to dress up only to the level you enjoy (and also charmed that you're enjoying your feedback so), but even more so by the way you're adding heels to your repertoire of skills. I never really learned how to work heels (my mother wears sneakers whenever she can possibly get away with it, so I don't know how much of this is environmental and how much is genetic) but I'm delighted that you're training yourself just for the fun of it and not because you're having to wear them to work every damned day whether you want to or not.