seperis | and this is why i haven't done a new design in over three years (Reply)

Okay, I give up.

I give up.

This was obviously built by insane system programmers, which I am totally conversant on because I read about it once in a book. This--this isn't logical. Who builds a markup language with the assumption of a left justification? Why should I have to fight for right? Why didn't they think of us who like right justification? Some of us aren't into the left side so much. Might be the entire sinister aspect of it, or maybe we just are afraid of it. Ever think of that, sport? That left bothers me? That I feel a little claustrophobic when I have to align everything against the popular left side of the page? Do you realize you gave us ABSOLUTE POSITIONING POWER and yet somehow left out a way to just drag everything left? Why? Why did you do that?

ALIGN-RIGHT. RIGHT THERE. I can do it to an image in HTML in FIVE SECONDS. IF MY FINGERS ARE SLOW. ALIGN. RIGHT. RIGHT THERE.

Oh my God, it cannot have been that hard to do what I can do in regular HTML without twitching. It's right alignment. And what the hell about ALIGN FUCKING CENTER? THREE ID COMMANDS? Are you kidding? Did someone who liked their webpages lined against the right side run over your new iMac? I DO NOT FREAKING THINK SO.

*breathes*

Hi. I am going to kill everyone involved in the standardization of CSS.

#content
{margin-left:auto;
margin-right:auto;
margin-top:auto;
margin-bottom:2em;
width:100%}

Dear CSS people.

See above. What I wanted--crazy, I know--is set all my containers ever into the known center of the screen. You said this would work. You told me auto was magic. You laughed your little laugh and said, heh, yeah, weird how that was left out, do this.

And that bottom thing doesn't work at all. I'd like to thank you for that lovely inability to leave a decent margin at the bottom of a scrolling screen. Beautiful. And by that, I mean, diaf.

You lied.

#wrapper
{position:relative;
margin:0 auto;
text-align:left;
width:100%;}

Continuing--see that width command? I had to add that to make my page stay visible and not wandering off the right side of the page, which just goes to show the anti-Right brigade is alive and well. I don't know why! I'm pretty sure the root of all my problems comes from this.

I still have no idea why you are making me relative position this. I believed you, and I think you did it to fuck with me.

#left {float:left;width:17%;margin-left:3%;}
#right{float:right;width:77%;margin-left:3%;}

That's pretty straightfoward, right? I mean, really. Left, floats left! Right, floats right! Whee! I did my widths in percentage instead of me just for you and even gave margins to gutter so IE to stop being a dirty bitch and killing my containers. I did it just like illustrated.

And I still have a bottom scroll in Firefox (IE has rolled over and showed his throat. Good boy.) What the hell?

.top
{width:100%;
margin-left:.5em;
margin-right:1em;
margin-top:1em;
text-align:right}

This container exists because, for some crazy reason, you kept layering my image over text when I gave it a type class container all its own. Why? I don't know. You don't do that with your precious text. Images, though? Yeah.

.type
{width:100%;
font-size:1em;
margin-left:.5em;
margin-right:.5em;
margin-top:1.5em;
font-weight:bold;}

Okay, this is working. So--okay.

.title
{width:100%;
font-size:.8em;
margin-left:1.5em;
margin-right:.5em;
margin-top:1.5em;}

This seems to be working. I don't know why. Though I have a bad feeling that due to margins, I'm going to need to drop the width by five percent. I haven't gotten that far. What with my image running off the screen like a teenage girl from a slasher (not slash, sadly) movie.

.story
{width:90%;
font-size:.8em;
margin-left:2.5em;
margin-right:.5em;
margin-top:.5em;}

You're doing good. Don't fuck up.

Okay.

Edits since most of you last saw it. The div left was given two break commands and it seemed to fix the problem with the columns when I took out the absolute positioning. That hurt me in ways we cannot discuss, but its a gaping wound I may never heal from completely.

When I grow up and finish programming for the web class, I solemnly swear I will some day sit on the standards board who decides this shit. Then I'm going to make the following rulings:

All web browsers must be compliant with standard or large men with pipes will comes to their houses and make them use Windows Vista every day for the rest of their life. Home Basic edition. With one gig of RAM. Yeah. Have fun with that.

There will be special commands for everyone who wants to design from the right side of the screen. They will be called blessed. They will get cookies.

Someone, somewhere will acknowledge that while there is no standard in screen size and by all the gods of the internets, it will be easy to design from 800/600 straight to 1600/1200 so they look readable no matter what. And a magic font fixer. And a pony, because if my sanity is going to snap building a ridiculously simple webpage, then I am going to ride a pony around and call myself a princess. Also send a tiara.

And I was going to finsih my review of ~~Teal'c's arms~~ Midway. *sad*

It's raining. Of course it is. It's a freaking conspiracy of the anti-right brigade.

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That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
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LJ
Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
-- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
LJ
Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
Jenn: Because you are an addict.
Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
-- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
AIM, 12/24/2003
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-- anonymous, on terrible writing
AIM, 2/17/2004
In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
-- silverkyst, on wtf
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Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
-- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
LJ, 4/2/2004
silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
-- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
AIM, 1/25/2005
You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
-- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
LJ, 3/15/2005
Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
-- Summerfling, on shower sex
LJ, 7/22/2005
It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
-- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
LJ, 2/7/2006
Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
-- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
LJ, 4/13/2006
Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
-- deadlychameleon, on class
LJ, 9/1/2007
If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
-- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
Twitter
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-- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
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Adding for Mastodon.
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and this is why i haven't done a new design in over three years

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