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Monday, June 20th, 2005 11:18 pm
qafreview: s5e6
I missed an ep, didn't I? Cause. Wow. That totally hit from a right field on the far side of Jupiter.
This is not for the ones who liked it. I have nothing against you, but seriously, this is not the happy porny QAF zone. Spoilers.
I don't even have *words*. Did someone on the writing staff get very high and completely forget seasons two and three? No? Then why are we repeating it? This is the definitive reason why you shouldn't do drugs. Cause it makes you *stupid*.
I want to clarify. Just in case there's any uncertainty.
1.) Justin wants a house, a dog, a picket fence, and a *family*. *blank look* When, in the history of their relationship, has Justin even--was the boy not just FUCKING HIS WAY THROUGH CALIFORNIA? Oh my God, Justin is going to so realize he's het and get married, which is really the only way this storyline could possibly make sense.
Leaving the fact that Justin has been invaded by the Suburban Pod Syndrome...
He. Thought. He. Could. Get. These. Things. With. *BRIAN*
Oh my God. He has mad cow disease. That accounts for *so much*. It's like--no. I can't continue here. The Mindcontrol Device being used on Justin needs to be deactivated now. We have *done this before*. And back when Justin was All Monogamy, All the Time? I *still* don't remember anything *close* to him being interested in Small Children, a home garden, and wallpaper.
This is only going to get worse, isn't it? Oh God, don't tell me, I want to traumatize myself.
*breathes into paper bag*
2.) Brian is feeling more insecure than usual.
Not just his usual neuroticity. He has, in fact, achieved levels as yet unseen in the wild. This could be an *entirely new species of humanity*. A scary one. And I say this as a Brian apologist of the first degree--Brian, you officially have scared me. It's like they took his season one issues and freaking archetyped them to rampantly inhuman levels. Brian crossed that nebulous line between self-absorbed but lovable and into balls out crazy with a side of dear God that's creepy, garnished with a hearty what the fuck. I have to ask. What the *fuck*?
Also, the blond was NOT HOT.
And third--Brian, by my count, you've been turned down at least three times, not including Justin's frequent later second season headaches, and all of those were in teh first season. I can't remmber if it happened in the second. But I am sure that occasionally, yes, your marvelousness does not turn everyone on.
Oh God, I need a tranquilizer.
3.) Hunter is my new favorite. Yes, I have joined the ranks of the crack-riddled crazy. Oh man. He plays a angsty and justifiably scarred yet amazingly sympathetic and sweet teenager so. Damn. Well. You, Hunter, are my new OTC. Cause Brian has mad cow disease and so does Justin. You are my only hope.
4.) Weird Thoughts Had While Watching.
a.) Regarding Justin saying a radioactive mutation--thought of Brian coming home and wondring why Justin keeps plying him with bright green radioactive shakes. Drinks them anyway--did I mention that they are both crazy so will do stuff like this? It all goes downhill from there.
b.) Michael's hysterics have got to come down a notch. Except for the entire baby-custody thing--oh those wonderful days of yore, when the custody thing was on and entertained me *so much*--you have come a long way from Mr WhineyHystericalPants.
Okay, I'm done. Yeah. Just--needed to vent. Yes. Good. Whee! Love my show! Excpet right now? Everyone with mad-cow disease.
This is not for the ones who liked it. I have nothing against you, but seriously, this is not the happy porny QAF zone. Spoilers.
I don't even have *words*. Did someone on the writing staff get very high and completely forget seasons two and three? No? Then why are we repeating it? This is the definitive reason why you shouldn't do drugs. Cause it makes you *stupid*.
I want to clarify. Just in case there's any uncertainty.
1.) Justin wants a house, a dog, a picket fence, and a *family*. *blank look* When, in the history of their relationship, has Justin even--was the boy not just FUCKING HIS WAY THROUGH CALIFORNIA? Oh my God, Justin is going to so realize he's het and get married, which is really the only way this storyline could possibly make sense.
Leaving the fact that Justin has been invaded by the Suburban Pod Syndrome...
He. Thought. He. Could. Get. These. Things. With. *BRIAN*
Oh my God. He has mad cow disease. That accounts for *so much*. It's like--no. I can't continue here. The Mindcontrol Device being used on Justin needs to be deactivated now. We have *done this before*. And back when Justin was All Monogamy, All the Time? I *still* don't remember anything *close* to him being interested in Small Children, a home garden, and wallpaper.
This is only going to get worse, isn't it? Oh God, don't tell me, I want to traumatize myself.
*breathes into paper bag*
2.) Brian is feeling more insecure than usual.
Not just his usual neuroticity. He has, in fact, achieved levels as yet unseen in the wild. This could be an *entirely new species of humanity*. A scary one. And I say this as a Brian apologist of the first degree--Brian, you officially have scared me. It's like they took his season one issues and freaking archetyped them to rampantly inhuman levels. Brian crossed that nebulous line between self-absorbed but lovable and into balls out crazy with a side of dear God that's creepy, garnished with a hearty what the fuck. I have to ask. What the *fuck*?
Also, the blond was NOT HOT.
And third--Brian, by my count, you've been turned down at least three times, not including Justin's frequent later second season headaches, and all of those were in teh first season. I can't remmber if it happened in the second. But I am sure that occasionally, yes, your marvelousness does not turn everyone on.
Oh God, I need a tranquilizer.
3.) Hunter is my new favorite. Yes, I have joined the ranks of the crack-riddled crazy. Oh man. He plays a angsty and justifiably scarred yet amazingly sympathetic and sweet teenager so. Damn. Well. You, Hunter, are my new OTC. Cause Brian has mad cow disease and so does Justin. You are my only hope.
4.) Weird Thoughts Had While Watching.
a.) Regarding Justin saying a radioactive mutation--thought of Brian coming home and wondring why Justin keeps plying him with bright green radioactive shakes. Drinks them anyway--did I mention that they are both crazy so will do stuff like this? It all goes downhill from there.
b.) Michael's hysterics have got to come down a notch. Except for the entire baby-custody thing--oh those wonderful days of yore, when the custody thing was on and entertained me *so much*--you have come a long way from Mr WhineyHystericalPants.
Okay, I'm done. Yeah. Just--needed to vent. Yes. Good. Whee! Love my show! Excpet right now? Everyone with mad-cow disease.