this, that, and the other thing

I've decided I'm allowing myself today as my last day of self-inflicted misery and self-pity. It's this entire--laziness issue. I don't want to work to be happy. I don't want to work at unhappy either, but I will say this--it so does not require much work.

So think of this as my virtual fannish dump.



I will say this. SGA fandon in general is the first fandom that my knee-jerk response is to be *contrary*. This isn't healthy, but I hated the ep right up until I read the episode reviews, then suddenly--so not kidding--I totally fell in love with it and decided I have never seen a better episode of anything in history.

Seriously, I have no idea what to do with that. It's both very me and yet not really. I like blending. This entire need to take the opposite tact in any discussion is something I do with people I don't *like*, not with an entire fandom. Oh SGA. Sometimes I think you screwed me up worse than SV did, and SV's the fandom I came out of afraid to watch the *episodes* because I'd get muscle cramps from the twitching. I will say this for SGA in general--I have never been actively afraid to watch. I'm just at that place where reading the reviews is a terrible idea.

I will say this, though, and I'm echoing some other reviewers, notaby ltlj, who I swear has a hotline to my auto-agree function at this point--Michael's speech was hysterical. It's like Jeffery Dahmer arguing the evils of being restricted from getting more victims. I'm not sitting around thinking, oh those poor misunderstood Wraith. I am thinking, why are they not killing Michael now? Maybe they could set him in something to kill him slowly, like he killed his victims, all the thousands that died screaming at his hand, that lost family and friends, homes and planets, that had to *watch*. Maybe the Atlanteans could do that to them *all*, let them all die slowly and painfully surrounded with their own fear and their own horror, as human do. And it still wouldn't pay for a *tenth* of what he's done, they've done, the lives they've taken and destroyed, the worlds they've wrecked, the people raised to be nothing more than cattle for millenia. To never have the chance to develop and grow and change, civilizations hobbled or made extinct. The Wraith didn't just kill *people*--they destroyed the core of what they were, limited what they could be, maimed them. They stole what no one has the right to take, and there's no argument in the universe that can justify it. The Pegasus galaxy isn't fighting for land or property or money or political gain--they're fighting for the right to exist. To be free. To choose what they'll be.

Michael can sit there and whine until the end of time about those treacherous Atlanteans raining on his little parade, but letting him go would be tantamount to murder of God knows how many innocent people in the galaxy, and no. He's a murderer, a monster, hunting sentient people for food and for sport, enjoying their terror and their pain and their fear, living off their loss, and that's what makes him an animal, a creature to be hunted and destroyed before he can destroy anything further.

And that's all I have to say about Michael and the Wraith. I know I'm minority on this one and I'm good with that.



Huh. So my energy is higher than I thought. Who knew?



Okay, first off, yeah. It's totally roofies. Because one minute, I'm, you know, normal, and then I'm up at three am on a worknight reading about exorcisms and worrying how they get the blood out of the seats and I'm not sure how that *happened*. I won't even go into the time dilation of reading Of Bastard Saints because that was just surreal and six and a half hours later, I was mumbling into my pillow things like ohmygod and ohyes and wow and possible sothisiswhatitsliketogoinsane. Later, I whispered. More.

Since I don't use delicio, I'm making myself a quick reference list, because let me tell you, I was reading so fast that I forgot where a third of these were and let me tell you, hunting stories through spn is a lot harder than I thought. Respect to esorlehcar's rec lists, the Lawrence Awards, svmadelyn's SPN ref lists, transtemp, samdonne, and researchgrrrl.

Of Bastard Saints by beanside and nilchance (and the prequel)
http://badmoonrise.slashcity.net/quicksand.html

1300 Days by stele3
http://stele3.livejournal.com/14466.html?mode=reply

Heavy Metal by maygra
http://wordsmiths.net/Maygra/heavy_metal.html

Fundamental Image by rei_c
http://rei-c.livejournal.com/578856.html

Crystal Blue Persuasian by wrenlet
http://wrenscribbles.livejournal.com/6684.html

Month of Open Doors by eighth_horizon
http://gekizetsu.net/sn/fic.html

Devil Driven by esohope
http://writings-from.livejournal.com/8025.html?style=mine

Never Summer by ignipes
http://ignipes.livejournal.com/82858.html?style=mine

The Thousand Ways to Bleed by Lithium Doll
http://www.yuletidetreasure.org/archive/18/thethousand.html

A Fistful of Rain by marinarusalka
http://marinarusalka.livejournal.com/241002.html#cutid1

Bargains by marinarusalka
http://marinarusalka.livejournal.com/224116.html#cutid1

Conversational Winchester by eloise_bright
http://eloise-bright.livejournal.com/108590.html?style=mine

About to Get Too Far Gone by trollprincess
http://trollprincess.livejournal.com/1025691.html?style=mine

Morgantown by ignipes
http://community.livejournal.com/spn_gen/20263.html

Providence by ignipes
http://ignipes.livejournal.com/98744.html

I seriously need to get my links together. I've burned through something like one hundred stories and I have like, the vaguest clues what they are. The one with the werewolf. The one with the moon. I'm serious. The one with them doing something.

Okay, so happiness can be less work than I thought.



Okay, I feel awesome.

SPN totally wins for experimental writing, complete with multiple unreliable narrators, odd time jumps, and the best titles I have *ever seen in my life. Seriously, I am reading things on the strength of how cool the *titles* are. Wow. Total title haiku. I love these people.



The warnings debate came and came and has yet to stop coming.

Okay, I give, what the *hell* set people off? I mean, all of you, I respect your opinions and all legit and all that and I totally get where both sides are coming from and surprisingly, I have no opinion on the subject that isn't something between hmm and huh. But--did I miss some graphic torture and rape thing that came down the pipe that was titled Fluffy Bunnies Unite and people went in and were traumatized for life? I remember reading through the rants and trying to find source, but it was total meme takeover and so many people posted so close I couldn't tell point of origin. And it's spread across more than SGA, so. That was cool. Surreal. And also, energetic. And kind of disturbing, because anytime mutual friends start using exclusionary and sometimes slightly inflammatory terms on *both* sides of the fence, I start getting a nervous twitch.

Was it the darkfic flashfic thing? Cause seriously. Do what I do. Hide from the comm until it's over and only follow recs by people who a.) have good taste and b.) won't deliberately send you to stuff that will make you chew on your laptop in horror. Stress levels are lowered and you don't come out of it silently judging the writers as human beings. Okay, I'm being a little dramatic for the sake of form, but come on. Okay, that was judgemental. I'm not. I just hit too many pro and anti-warning essays that made me uncomfortable with the terminology.

It is interesting, though, on a purely observational level, how *many people* picked up the warning topic and ran with it. Mostly because fandom does tend to amaze me with how much we agree on as a community. I mean, it doesn't look like we do? But in a lot of ways, we really *do*. The way we choose the acronyms or nicknames for a fandom--SV, SN, SPN, SGA, SG1, HL, which we totally brought from our mailing lists, true, but now we continue to keep at the two or three letter thing and mostly, we agree on which letters. How most of us that use headers regularly have fairly similiar formats. How we use astericks for God's sake. We aren't as regulated by ML and usenet as we used to be, but we carry the habits we learned there with us and train others in it who never had to live through that mailing list with the mod who would throw you off if you fucked up your headers.



Okay, having a breakfast taco now. Zen achieved. I'm going to assume no one will take any of the essays personally and my flist will remain copasetic.

I also have brownies. You have to ask yourself, does life get any better than this? I think not.

ETA: I'm adding fic links here randomly so I don't lose them again as I find them.