ordinarygirl: (* don't try to be a hero)

From: [personal profile] ordinarygirl Date: 2010-08-15 04:41 pm (UTC)
I don't write my idfic. I honestly am too... I don't know, terrified that somehow I'll post it somewhere where people can SEE when I'm drunk or something to write it.

But my deepest darkest fics (and the RP I'd love to do but have never found the right person to really... ask to do it with me) would be... the innocent being torn apart. There's the headstrong, stubborn girl; Rose Tyler or Amy Pond from Doctor Who come to mind, Daine from Tamora Pierce's Immortals quartet, Elspeth from before or early on in the Mage Winds trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - these are all girls who fit into my mental "archetype" for this, though I don't write all of them. ...Okay, I do in theory, but I haven't done fics with Daine or Elspeth yet. So you take this girl and giver her to a psychopath/sociopath/scary-fucking-crazy guy, and you let him... break her. Utterly, completely, with gratuitous descriptions and really freaking horrible stuff that would trigger pretty much ANYONE who has triggers for these things and some people who don't. And then you let her pull herself together a little bit. She escapes (actually or as a ruse to make it more fun for the guy breaking her), or the guy leaves, or she just gets a respite from it all... and then you break her again. And you break her until she is a completely different person... and then you put her back together, and she's never the same.

This is horrible, terrifying stuff that I would NEVER EVER EVER release to the public at large. This is not stuff that I think is "good", and I don't think that there is a market for this sort of fic that doesn't involve scary-crazy-psychopaths... and people like me, maybe. Part of what weirds me out is that it's ALWAYS a guy breaking a girl. It's fun to break certain male characters, as well, but it's actually a very different sort of story, there - that's breaking the already broken (and I do it with girls, too), and them coming out of it stronger, and involves much less... horrifying sexual torture and psychological dismantlement.

And the thing is, I don't want to read stuff like this. I might go back and re-read stuff I've done (I was first introduced to this part of me in a MUCH TAMER THAN I WISHED RP session back in the day), but I'd never really... track down fic like this and read it. Because that's... not what I want. I can think of literally two people who, if they wrote this, I would WANT to read it, and they are both my significant others. Also, I think they would probably be able to do it well, if you can do such a terrifying sort of story well.


...I don't know, this is me rambling because... it's hard.

Outside of anything sexually-involved (because I actually don't like writing or reading sex-fic that much), my id likes me to write HORRIBLY SUE-ISH FANTASY WITH MAGIC AND SPARKLY PONIES AND UNICORNS AND SHIT, a la... Valdemar is really the only fantasy I've read that fits the description. XD I WANTS TO WRITE SPARKLEPONIES. Also horrible modern-girl-or-guy falls into fantasy universe of choice stories.

So... my id is stuck in the 8-year-old fairy princess stage with a heaping of physical, psychological, and sexual torture on the side?


...and now I'm worried I might've said too much and made people look at me like I might eat their babies. D:
(will be screened)
(will be screened if not validated)
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting

Profile

seperis: (Default)
seperis

Tags

Quotes

  • If you don't send me feedback, I will sob uncontrollably for hours on end, until finally, in a fit of depression, I slash my wrists and bleed out on the bathroom floor. My death will be on your heads. Murderers
    . -- Unknown, on feedback
    BTS List
  • That's why he goes bad, you know -- all the good people hit him on the head or try to shoot him and constantly mistrust him, while there's this vast cohort of minions saying, We wouldn't hurt you, Lex, and we'll give you power and greatness and oh so much sex...
    Wow. That was scary. Lex is like Jesus in the desert.
    -- pricklyelf, on why Lex goes bad
    LJ
  • Obi-Wan has a sort of desperate, pathetic patience in this movie. You can just see it in his eyes: "My padawan is a psychopath, and no one will believe me; I'm barely keeping him under control and expect to wake up any night now to find him standing over my bed with a knife!"
    -- Teague, reviewing "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones"
    LJ
  • Beth: god, why do i have so many beads?
    Jenn: Because you are an addict.
    Jenn: There are twelve step programs for this.
    Beth: i dunno they'd work, might have to go straight for the electroshock.
    Jenn: I'm not sure that helps with bead addiction.
    Beth: i was thinking more to demagnitize my credit card.
    -- hwmitzy and seperis, on bead addiction
    AIM, 12/24/2003
  • I could rape a goat and it will DIE PRETTIER than they write.
    -- anonymous, on terrible writing
    AIM, 2/17/2004
  • In medical billing there is a diagnosis code for someone who commits suicide by sea anenemoe.
    -- silverkyst, on wtf
    AIM, 3/25/2004
  • Anonymous: sorry. i just wanted to tell you how much i liked you. i'd like to take this to a higher level if you're willing
    Eleveninches: By higher level I hope you mean email.
    -- eleveninches and anonymous, on things that are disturbing
    LJ, 4/2/2004
  • silverkyst: I need to not be taking molecular genetics.
    silverkyst: though, as a sidenote, I did learn how to eviscerate a fruit fly larvae by pulling it's mouth out by it's mouthparts today.
    silverkyst: I'm just nowhere near competent in the subject material to be taking it.
    Jenn: I'd like to thank you for that image.
    -- silverkyst and seperis, on more wtf
    AIM, 1/25/2005
  • You know, if obi-wan had just disciplined the boy *properly* we wouldn't be having these problems. Can't you just see yoda? "Take him in hand, you must. The true Force, you must show him."
    -- Issaro, on spanking Anakin in his formative years
    LJ, 3/15/2005
  • Aside from the fact that one person should never go near another with a penis, a bottle of body wash, and a hopeful expression...
    -- Summerfling, on shower sex
    LJ, 7/22/2005
  • It's weird, after you get used to the affection you get from a rabbit, it's like any other BDSM relationship. Only without the sex and hot chicks in leather corsets wielding floggers. You'll grow to like it.
    -- revelininsanity, on my relationship with my rabbit
    LJ, 2/7/2006
  • Smudged upon the near horizon, lapine shadows in the mist. Like a doomsday vision from Watership Down, the bunny intervention approaches.
    -- cpt_untouchable, on my addition of The Fourth Bunny
    LJ, 4/13/2006
  • Rule 3. Chemistry is kind of like bondage. Some people like it, some people like reading about or watching other people doing it, and a large number of people's reaction to actually doing the serious stuff is to recoil in horror.
    -- deadlychameleon, on class
    LJ, 9/1/2007
  • If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Fan Fiction is John Cusack standing outside your house with a boombox.
    -- JRDSkinner, on fanfiction
    Twitter
  • I will unashamedly and unapologetically celebrate the joy and the warmth and the creativity of a community of people sharing something positive and beautiful and connective and if you don’t like it you are most welcome to very fuck off.
    -- Michael Sheen, on Good Omens fanfic
    Twitter
    , 6/19/2019
  • Adding for Mastodon.
    -- Jenn, traceback
    Fosstodon
    , 11/6/2022

Credit

November 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 2022
Page generated Jun. 18th, 2025 01:21 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios