there be snakes here

We had our second sighting of the Blotched Water Snake, a totes harmless slithering maw of evil that was first glimpsed by yours truly dripping down the side of my niece's kitchen playset like someone had turned on a faucet set to 'pure evil', at which time I learned to levitate, balancing on the edge of the patio couch to throw myself bodily at the glass door and bang on it until God himself wondered what the hell and leaped across the space separating me from safety, because--and I know this was subtle here, so you might have missed it--I really don't like snakes.

The only time I claim to be a Creationist is to an evangelical Reptiphilist, because God knows they don't take "slither", "scary", "faucet of evil", or "did I mention slither?" as arguments, but "the Bible told me so" is like magic and they go away. Recommended to deal with anyone who loves snakes trying to convert you: it works.

The upshot is everything that moves in my general vicinity, including dogs, cats, rats, cicadas, squirrels, frogs, and wind, is a Potential Snake and generally my evenings are shot-full of enough adrenaline that a twelve-step program may be in order, either for me or for the poor creatures that deal with my reaction to their existence before I verify they are Not Snake, since dude, they probably have a pan-species alert out for me at this point, "Approach with caution, kinda jumpy", and if we're lucky, a collective bounty on the snake because seriously, their lives were better before when I didn't react to leaves falling like they were coming after my ankles with (a thousand) fanged (non-venemous) teeth and bear live young by the thousands (dozen or so) that could be anywhere, or rather, near me, because I don't have a problem with anywhere, but more here.

Which is why I have bichon frise of questionable courage and bitter animosity sitting outside with me hating me so much right now.

In Other News

( many things, none terribly interesting )

My world, in short, is snake-filled and strange.