i do not think irl means what you think it means

So while waiting in the turn lane to turn into my parking lot, we were startled to discover the car suddenly died. This continues as we speak; it's not coming back. While still trying to figure out wtf, a vehicle came at us at the speed of stupidity and belatedly realized our hazard lights might mean we were like, stuck. At which point we exited the vehicle and ran for safety.

ETA: Vehicle stopped abruptly and turned into parking lot. After two comments and a re-read, I realized I left out the climax and jumped to the aftermath. Coda: AAA came for the vehicle about ten minutes ago or so. God it's been too long since I wrote fic; I forgot the structure of a story.

The very moment imminent doom approached, I was texting svmadelyn for sympathy and has she answered? No. That could have been my last text ever and resounding silence.

Not bitter or anything.

However, to take the edge from the bitterness, Blizzared of WoW is shucking the shakes of pseudonyms and embracing RL names only!

This won't end badly. Or like, even just tracking down your digital footprint inch by excruciatingly personal inch.

Oh, wait...maybe it will.

How can WoW, which is played online and designed and run by people who theoretically know what a computer is, possibly think this is an idea of genius? This is an online game. Which begs the question if Blizzard is actually run by people who know what the internet is, and just as likely, are not women and boggle at the idea that this could be like, IDK, kinda not good.

I mean, I'm mad, but I'm also filled with this sort of weirdly protective feeling, like I need to lead all of them out for juice and cookies in a quiet room with no windows but some large primary colored blocks so the grown-ups can go, you know, do sane grown-up things, like not expose their female members to IRL sexual harassment, stalking, or murder, and all their members to serious IRL danger as well.

And introduce them to the web. Because wow, are they going to be surprised what it is WoW is running on.

"This is google. It sees all, knows all, and this is the route to your children's school and your home phone number and recent electric bill. Not very green of you there, sparky. So. Let's talk why random online people knowing this shit is bad. Have another cookie. You'll need it."

Now I really want a cookie.