seriously, of all the fandoms, i had to choose my pet obsession

So I had one of those days where I came home and fell asleep on the couch like some kind of vaguely regressive cliche of a fifties husband, but luckily, Child finds the lack of my attention useful for scoping out my room for more DVD sets to steal. In my defense, work sucked in ways that describing would cause flashbacks to, and also, there's a freeze warning, which, I want to explain for the non-Texan among you, freaks us out but in a good way, because it means we can stay home and not brave the icy roads.

(Reminder--I'm from Texas. I don't even put on shorts until it's over ninety-five. Four layers is not enough here. Weirdly, I don't have this reaction in Chicago, but that's possibly because if you have ever hung out with svmadelyn, she keeps you moving. I mean, I remember the theory that I was cold, but mostly, it's like a huge exercise event. I swear Chicago's the only place on earth I have to eat my own weight in food and still come back five pounds lighter than I was. It could totally be a personal training course.)

Of course that ended well--I'm up at midnight and left to my own devices until I can sleep again. Gah.

I feel--writey. I mean, as in, I keep falling asleep crafting elaborate stories to write, but I pretty much finish them before I fall asleep, so there's no reason to write them really. I write to find out how it ends. I ended up plotting out an Spock/Kirk/Uhura threesome where Kirk is weirdly reticent and Spock and Uhura end up having to chase him half the story before he gives up and accepts he's practically married to them and stops picking up intergalactic hookers that make Spock grind his teeth (logically) and Uhura has to fight not to toss out the airlock. ("...Jim, she's stealing equipment from engineering!" "She'll give it back!" "Your commitment issues are officially a mental illness. I just beamed her off the ship. Take off your pants right now. Also, we're moving in. Don't argue." "...okay.")

Plus, all of them are ridiculously long and exhausting--AU where Jim was left behind on earth and he and Gaila and some cadets steal a ship to escape before Nero destroys the planet! And accidentally become rebels against the Romulan Empire (and with Jim, that could actually happen. He wouldn't even try. These things just happen to him.)! And like, meet up with Spock Prime, who starts like a secret rebel colony for them and suddenly Jim wakes up in horror and realizes he's leader of the rebellion and tries not to notice the Romulan Prefect bears a creepy resemblance to Darth Vader (which of course he watched as a kid; Star Wars is forever). And also, there are like, ten rebel colonies and everyone cheers for him and a part of him wants to cry, but the other part is like, ten and thinks lightsabres would be so awesome here. And Gaila finds it hilarious and right before I fell asleep, she was using her pheremones to encourage Jim toward bondage between death-defying missions. Which--well. Yeah. The plot became odd there, yes.

(Later, they meet up with Spock and Uhura and Starfleet and Jim accidentally is taken prisoner and Gaila brings half the rebel fleet to stare down the Enterprise and Jim tries to explain to Spock how really, he has no idea how this became his life. And also, Gaila really likes blowing things up.)

...I seriously like this idea, but just the setup would take me weeks, and I am still waiting for betas to finish for War Games and I'm not sure I can face another 100K without crying. That was exhausting. But I don't know how it ends yet, actually; usually when I get this far, I can figure it out, but no. A universe where Jim Kirk is left to his own devices with a fleet of ships and millions and millions of refugees to take care of is a universe where he is not happy. He's brilliant and needed, and those things are things Jim needs to be, but I'm not sure how he comes out on the other side. Duty can do a lot, I think, and Jim beneath it all is bedrocked in that, but that doesn't really take the place of something he can keep for just himself, or that he would know he needs to, and who would tell the guy keeping them alive that he should?

I don't know how that ends and that's kind of what makes me want to write it. I'm tired of dystopias of grinding misery; there are many reasons I like sociopathic AUs. They seem better adjusted to reality in the end. I only want to write it if I can leave it better than I started it. HMm.

*curls up* Christmas decorating this weekend!

Randomly, because whining is not attractive, below are some cut scenes from War Games, sort of. Temporally, they're set during the first week after Jim and Spock return from Iowa and adjust to the realization they're mostly-married, but I couldn't work them into the narrative and felt superfluous except to my own entertainment. Also, lirpas are insane as weapons. Seriously.

( ficlet: adjustment )