life as I know it

Okay, so it's been almost two weeks? I keep thinking I'm posting here, but no, just to market_roulette.

So I like being busy. This is--I don't know what this is.



Our testing periods have started officially overlapping and I can't explain the horror of this in words, but it's like we're not only constantly behind, we're being bitched at for it; for reference, our testing periods used to be four to five weeks with a week to two weeks for planning and writing tests and two weeks interspersed to do emergency releases and workarounds for the system. Basically, they happened every two months and now we're writing the test for the next testing period while testing for the current testing period and getting our assignments for the testing period after that to start immediately.

We're not just running behind; we're like, forever behind. We can't catch up. We're still testing while the next build is introduced and we haven't even run regression yet, and prodfix is already up and running. I jsut finished scripting for the next build and there's another one coming and we keep getting these--the tests are long. I mean, like, two to three hours end to end and changing user ids and stopping to verify with the database and we each have ten of these and I've had to run each one from two to five times and half of them aren't even passed yet. And the stupidest shit goes wrong in testing. User error, or new functionality no one told us about error, or surprise!system change error. Or the user ids have a problem we didn't know about until they don't work.

Ouch

Smushed finger in car door. Had to open to release. Not broken. Just--there. And irritating.

Other News

I have a Keurig coffee maker. I just want to cuddle it forever.

I think that's it? God, I'm just so ridiculously tired it's unreal. I want one of my hobbies back, just one of them, so something is goddamn balanced in my life. And I feel like I've driven all my friends away by being a total lack of motivation and joy-sucker of lifelessness or something.

(note: I know this is not true; I promise, I get this is utter frustration with the world making me react really off reality by a considerable margin. I don't get how I can know intellectually that right now I'm seeing everything skewed badly and still be unable to do anything with that knowledge other than know it and hate it. What's the point of self-awareness when it's kind of useless?)

Good Things (besides Keurig)

So my new boss took over in July. She's tech and a programmer, and this is administrative, and it felt a little rocky at first. However, the idea applicant for the job is someone who is a programmer, familiar with the system (ie, worked in it, on it, and through it) and with our unit, as well as administrative, and I'd take the loss of admin if it meant she understood completely what we were doing.

She really does. And she really argues for us. In a meeting we had a couple of montsh ago, we were brought up to speed on a change in teh system, a big one. They had no documentation, no clearances, nothing to explain what it would do, and we were a week from testing and the code hadn't been locked and tehy were adhocing. She completely routed them on the documentation thing when they acted like they didn't have any (for their own programs?) and teh clearances and it was--good. She's also becoming a better administrator, but the fact she logs into work every Saturday from home when we dont' have official workdays just in case someone works a Saturday from home so she can be on call is kind of amazing. She can also run tests and knows our tests and knows when to compromise.

She's hard on us, but not in a negative way, which is hard to explain but it ridiculously comforting. She's really good now, and I'm wondering in a year what she'll be like if she doesn't burn out. We're doing impossible things because of her; we couldn't have done what we're doing now otherwise, not and survived it, not and get this much done.

So that's my good thing.

Going to read now before bed and contemplate retests tomorrow.

Comments

[alwayswondered]

I think I want to be your new boss in five years.

[metron_ariston]

I dream of having a boss like that.

[the_shoshanna]

Oh, hurrah for your boss. Tell her how much you appreciate what she's doing; I bet that will help against burnout.

Hers, at least. Your level of busystress sounds -- scary. But self-awareness isn't useless, even if it feels like there's nothing concrete you can do: it lets you remember not to make any irrevocable life decisions in this state ("fuck this, I'm moving to Barbados and becoming a beach bum"); it lets you alert your friends ("I'm pretty screwed up right now, but I know it even if I can't do much about it; please cut me some slack and I will hope to return the favor when things are better; meanwhile, anyone feel like coming over, cleaning my bathroom for me, and leaving without requiring me to make eye contact?"); and it helps you remember that things will get better ("I feel crazed and desperate because my life is hell right now, but that's not a permanent condition no matter how much right now I feel like it is").

Cuddle your coffee machine.

[seperis]

I forgot to come back and thank you for this.

"fuck this, I'm moving to Barbados and becoming a beach bum"

I've been propositioning madelyn and scy for this. Jamaica or New Zealand.

I think it'll get better withw ork at least, which will help, at least long eough to get my balnace back. But thsi made me laugh and nothing else at the time did, becuase God it's true. *g* So thank you.

[the_shoshanna]

You're welcome. I'm glad it helped.

[pixel]

Oh my god I never want to go back to that kind of a shop, without my automated tests that tell me where my code is failing like *RIGHT NOW* and and and...

That sounds terrible, I'm sorry but WOOO for new boss.

[kickair8p]

Keurig! ::cuddle-cuddle::

~

[scy]

*hugs you*

:)

Remember, treehouse!

[icarus]

I'm going to wave two-thirds of this post in front of my techie boyfriend and see if he runs under the bed to hide.

[fyrdrakken]

Sorry to hear the hits keep on coming at work -- glad you've got a competent boss who actually understands what you're doing, that's a serious advantage.

[roguewords.livejournal.com]

So sorry that life has sucked you into the big hole of nothing. :(

yay for awesome bosses and awesome coffee makers.

[firefly1311.livejournal.com]

Feeling with you about the work overload. Hugs. Did you tell the boss just a little bit of it?

[kernezelda]

*hugs* You're an amazing woman, even when life tries to suck your spirit into a pit of bleak and endless doom.

[eponymousanon.livejournal.com]

I hope that market roulette turns out to be one of your fun de-stressor things and not an additional burden. If you need admin help (not, like, game theory/investing help type help but like, "fill in the form" stuff) just ask!

Other than that, yay good boss! (I can't yay Keurigs, not until they come up with a completely compostable/make your own cup kit, no matter how delicious the end product is).