Step off, UPS. I am so not in the mood

[seperis]

Dear Universe (UPS and Amazon.com),

Let me level with you; my job is trying to drive me insane, and by try, I mean, succeeded admirably. I needed something good in my life. They are bears. This bear, and this bear, to be exact.

I ordered bears. One tells stories. Stories! They are soft and fluffy. They'll become friends with the frightening number of Christmas-related bears I already own (does not represent totes number of Christmas bears as of 2008). They were not in fact left at my doorstep no matter what tracking says. There is a distinct lack of irony in my textual voice when I say I will cut a bitch and pop a cap into someone and I really don't care who or in fact how impractical carrying two separate weapons in these jeans would be.

Give me my bears.

With a seething rage that could end a thousand worlds in a fiery apocalypse from which no one will escape,
Seperis

Comments

[vagabondage.livejournal.com]

What kind of evil bastards would lie about delivering a person's bears?!?!?!!!!

SO WRONG!

If you decide to declare war on them, I'm in. I would happily slaughter in the name of teddy bears.

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

Oh NO! I hope this situation is rectified immediately and the bears are delivered to you safely and soundly. *HUGS*

[jamesinboots.livejournal.com]

Omgggggggg, cute bears!!

The mail people are mean and they love to lie. I once sat next to my front door alllll day once waiting for something, and I saw the truck pass by and stop at my mailbox. I went to my mailbox and found a "failed delivery/sorry we missed you note". THOSE MEANIEHEADS NEVER TRIED TO DELIVER IT.

[omnipresentdmat.livejournal.com]

Wow, you are kind of adorable ♥

I hope you get your bears! Otherwise I might cut a bitch for you. Or, uh, in addition to you?

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

omg I want you to have your bears! :( what if they have to spend Christmas without a home, far away from the north pole! I know what happens when you remove animals from their native habitat! I have seen Happy Feet! D:

[dalaire.livejournal.com]

I would be livid, too. In this house, bears (among the other vast numbers of beloved plushies) are sacred.

All my hopes and positive vibes for the safe delivery and happy induction of the bears.

[piplover.livejournal.com]

If you go to amazon.com's website, click on the Your Account button and view recent orders, you should be able to pull up a tracking number.

Go to this page: http://www.packagetrackr.com/

Put your number in, pick "auto detect" for which carrier, and it should tell you where it is.

I have to track packages for Amazon all day at work, and this is the most reliable. If it says it was delivered, when it obviously wasn't, call Amazon's customer service and let them know. They may tell you to wait a day or two, and then send a replacement, free of charge.

Those bears are adorable, I hope they show up soon!

[laura47.livejournal.com]

When I first read this I was sleepy and read "bears" as "beans" repeatedly.

It makes a lot more sense this way.

Though I was intrigueed by soft fluffy christmas beans that tell stories !

[quickthorne.livejournal.com]

That is a truly horrifying number of bears directly related to Christmas.

[sexybee.livejournal.com]

Mail delivery services suck. They have lost so much of my stuff. And Amazon is getting no love from me right now, either. I ordered, like, five books on Super Saver Shipping. Because one of them is delayed (Martha Wells), I am having to wait like three weeks for all of them. How can they do that to me?? Don't they know I need my books?

P.S. I got to browse Steiff stuffed animals today. They had the most adorable hedgehogs!